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Old 04-12-2018, 01:48 PM   #1350
Forgotten Child
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Location: SP, Sao Paulo - Brazil
Posts: 4,843
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8 hours ago
i guess you haven't had the pleasure of reading all of the very recent BS that's been spewing forth from the Pumpkin's camp about me.

i'm just giving people the option of the truth, and trying to GET some TRUTH out of James Iha.

He burned me VERY badly and i want to know
why he did it.

But apparently there is just no getting through to him.

He KNOWS he betrayed me-

- in the worst, ugliest, most inexcusable way that anyone
can have their loyalty and friendship betrayed:

for MONEY.

That's all i can figure it's about since he tossed our friendship out the window and won't say why.

When Billy's 'people' LIED about me, and lied about the whole situation, and THEN
they called ME a liar ???

(and ONLY because I publically said that I was not going to be on the "Reunion Tour of the Original Band Members")

I got a little bit pissed off.

Billy knows better.
They ALL know better.

Billy has said over the years REPEATEDLY AND PUBLICLY that he respects me because I walk my talk and believe me:

i do my damndest to do just that.

I have a conscience that gives no quarter and is totally and completely unforgiving of me, so if i'm not always doing my absolute best in every facet of my life, i simply can't live w/myself.

They all know this about me.
They all know that honesty is huge with me, and when James just sat back and went with it?

I couldn't believe it.

I have been GRIEVING over this for a very long time now.

When i say "grieving",
i mean i'm currently, actively going through the 7 stages of grief that people go through when someone they Love dies.

I thought that James and i would be very close friends till the day one of us died.

- for those of you who might not be from a country where English is the 1st language, we have a saying.

It's something you say to someone who looks absolutely miserable:

"What's the matter?
You look like you just lost your best friend."

Well, i did.
... at least i thought i did, but i guess he wasn't really my friend at all.

i guess that's the whole point.

it certainly doesn't make it hurt any less, in fact it hurts a whole lot more
now that i feel like i've been a made a fool of as well.

At any rate, word from the 'Pumpkins' was 1st:

i'd never been offered to be on the tour -
- a tour that I HELPED PLAN FOR 1 & 1/2 years! mind you!

2. they said that no money had been offered to me;

(AFTER Billy tried saying to me that i was the "one who walked away cause" i wasn't happy about the % splits - i never walked away until it was clear that i had no shot at playing bass on the tour and was only being used
as a way to sell tickets-
-by coming on stage every now & then a' la 'Guns & Roses', and that Billy had no intention of paying me anything.

They made up that nonsense about me declining invitations to things.

Things that NEVER EVEN HAPPENED.

... and make NO mistake about it:

I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY

that i'm giving yet another of Willy's fake reunion tours LOADS of PR that it never would have had, otherwise but I've kept quiet for too long.

As my bf said the other day:

My reputation is completely ruined - and TRY to imagine that it's not just the small town i grew up in where everyone knows everything about everyone else anyway -

- i'm talking about ruined on a GLOBAL SCALE; the 'World-Wide Web'.

people ALWAYS know what i used to do ... and they know (or soon find out) the nasty, destructive things that Billy has said about me. (again: publicly;
repeatedly)
And they nearly always believe him, so NO.
i worked too hard for too many years to get healthy again and there's no way that i'm just going to simply sit back and let Billy's lies -and the haters- destroy me, my life, my son's life, our heath, happiness and any careers i choose to pursue again.

You have to understand that I am a FIERCELY loyal friend, and that I have saved James' ass LITERALLY (Yes; i have literally saved his LIFE time and again when he obliviously walked into the street in front of oncoming traffic REPEATEDLY in countries where people drive on the left side of the road; i have also had to pull him backstage by the scruff of his shirt-neck after he wandered out into the audience of arena floors we were playing because HE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS WALKING ONTO THE STAGE!!!!!

AND i've saved his butt financially in every lawsuit between us and Billy that ever was, and believe me-there were more than a few.

Also i've been down with the flu for a month now.

My fever reached 106.7• & 106.5•on 2 consecutive days and i did think that i was going to die & i had nothing to lose,
so forgive me if i've acted out and said some things that may seem "mean".

I'm hurt, angry, pretty damn bored and i can't sleep at night because this has all been very upsetting to me on top of 2016/17 which were horrible years of death & loss for me on a ridiculous scale.

If anyone sees James iha and has the opportunity?

Slap him good and hard and tell him it's from me.

(hey, i can dream, can't i?)

 
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