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Old 03-29-2019, 05:32 AM   #41
reprise85
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Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
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Originally Posted by D. View Post
Do you think this procedure will mentally help you? Obv your brain is your brain and meds help but is your view of your body yet another tax on your mental state? Will this procedure be getting a hurdle out of your way?

I don't even think I worded what I wanted to say very well. For a reader I sure can be at a loss for articulation.
I think it will, yes. There was point in my life where something clicked and I started eating really healthy. I lost about 50lbs. I also was not clinically depressed for a few months. I am hoping it clicks again. Losing so much weight so fast is good motivation to keep it going. I expect when my body starts to feel better (as in, less pain), that will be a huge catalyst to long term change. And I have a really good therapist to help me navigate everything.

It's hard to explain how much being this big affects your brain. I am always aware of how big I am, I think about it all the time. I'm preoccupied with it. Not with food, but with how embarrassing and gross my body is. I've been overweight my whole life, but when I was 200lbs or so it wasn't like this at all. I'm not trying to r/gatekeeping (lol) but being fat and even morbidly obese vs being super duper morbidly obese is a big change and it's hard to explain or probably understand (as someone not super duper morbidly obese) how it can get that way and/or continue that way.

sorry if that's not clear. it's 5:30am and i haven't eaten solid food in a while

 
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