Thanks a ton guys. I really appreciate it.
We have band practice today at 6. I...don't even want to go because I'll fuck it up
I'm finding myself doing the whole Jimmy C 'not showing up to stuff' thing. Except I'm not Jimmy, I'm me. I'm not a good enough drummer or person to justify any of this shit; I hope they kick me out at this point. This isn't a not showing up to record Siamese Dream thing, this is a not showing up to practice fucking basic shit for a 10 minute set at some fraternity thing. I can't even handle that anymore.
I have these weird delusions of grandeur where I hold myself to impossible standards. I'm trying to drum like Jimmy fucking Chamberlin, I'm trying to direct baseball like [this girl I have a huge crush on]. Maybe in high school I could believe I was good enough to do that shit....I'm certainly too fucked right now.
i've drafted out a little message about quitting the band (i'd like to maintain some dignity). sound alright?
Quote:
Hey guys, I’m incredibly, incredibly sorry about this, but I have to quit the band. Right now I’m not the drummer I know I am, or the drummer I should be. Mental illness is rotting my brain and I just can’t sit down and learn John Mayer tracks right now. That’s impossible to explain with words or sentences but that’s the truth.
It’s not you, it’s me. You’re all ridiculously talented and I know you’ll go far. I know you have shows on Sunday and I know you’ll be incredible. I wish you the absolute best of luck.
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