[LoveIsSuicide42]

It's kind of crazy that I think "the best time to be a NIN fan" is also Trent's worst musical period. Like, don't get me wrong, I fucking love Year Zero conceptually and With Teeth, while his weakest as a whole by a fair margin, has some of his best individual songs, but you can tell Trent is just kind of missing the sort of visceral engagement with his art that made everything prior to that time so damn unique. That being said, he was still incredibly prolific for a solid five year stretch that saw him pushing boundaries constantly, even if the music itself wasn't quite as unforgettable as it had been before. I'll never forget skipping school just so I could listen to The Slip over and over when it was dropped by surprise, and the live band was just incredible at this time.

I was really happy with Hesitation Marks when it came out, and I still think of it as a solid, mature effort. There's something about it that doesn't really "feel" like Nine Inch Nails - almost like it's a record about Nine Inch Nails rather than by Nine Inch Nails - but I find it really easy to listen to as a whole and I tend to enjoy it a lot whenever I put it on.

The trilogy feels like a real breakthrough creatively. NtAE and AV felt like Trent dabbling into different "types" of Nine Inch Nails or industrial rock songs- "She's Gone Away" is a seedy, dark burner, "The Idea of You" is kind of thrashy, almost reminiscent of Ministry in some ways, "Burning Bright" sounds like Godflesh, "Less Than" sounds like rocky, radio friendly WT/TS NIN, and a lot of AV really goes into the more organic/atmospheric side of Trent's sound.... and then Bad Witch just says fuck parceling all this out, we're going to immerse, all at once and head first. It's cacophonous and terrifying and I felt shocked from it in a way I hadn't since I listened to TDS for the first time years and years ago.

When Trent creates narrative in HM, it feels so smooth and safe. He's doing it from a reflective distance, where there's no consequence; we know the protagonist is going to get out safe in the end, and so does he. Playing with the fractured pieces of the past and examining the edges up close isn't so scary. The Trilogy's self examination has none of this feel. It is rough, it is dangerous-- it hints at narrative being there, but the narrative is dirty and damaged. It's like you're putting together a puzzle, get a solid 3/4 of the way through, and the pieces stop fitting. At first it's frustrating, but then you notice that each time you notice a piece doesn't fit, more and pieces have been added to the box, and soon it's terrifying. A puzzle with too many pieces that just don't fit together. Coherence disappears into the static and is gone before you even realize it. The truth in Trent's examination here is blurry as fuck: it's always asking, how did I get here? Bad Witch is so visceral and damning in its uncertainty. The feeling the music gives me is the same feeling I get when I try to make sense of our current historical moment. Authenticity feels impossible because it no longer feels worthwhile and it's all so goddamn sad. I fucking hate Trump