LaBelle:
HI FUCK YOU DUMMY PUT UP A TREE IT'S NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS DAY IT'S FOR THE WHOLE SEASON YOU GOTTA SIT NEXT TO THAT THING AT NIGHT WITH THE HOUSE LIGHTS OFF AND FEEL THAT GOOD CHRISTMASTIME SADNESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOURS IS ABOUT BUT PERSONALLY MINE'S ABOUT FEELING POWERFULLY ALONE, UNSEEN, AND UNACCEPTED AND ALSO IT'S ABOUT HOW NO MATTER HOW HARD I MIGHT TRY I'LL LIKELY NEVER BE ABLE TO RECAPTURE THE FEELINGS THAT MADE THIS HOLIDAY SPECIAL TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS STUPID UPSIDE DOWN HEMISPHERE CHRISTMAS IN SUMMER BULLSHIT YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT TO ME I JUST DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL MAY IT FOREVER FEEL LIKE THERE'S A HAIR ON YOUR TONGUE AND MAY YOU NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND IT MAY YOUR EVERY MEAL BE RUINED BY ONE BITE YOU TAKE TOWARD THE BEGINNING THAT HAS A WEIRD TEXTURE THING GOING ON THAT REALLY GROSSES YOU OUT AND RUINS YOUR APPETITE MAY YOU BE FOREVERMORE INVISIBLE TO ALL REALLY CUTE ANIMALS (HUMANS INCLUDED) AND YOU CALL TO THEM TO TRY TO GET THEIR ATTENTION SO YOU CAN PET THEM OR FUCK THEM OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO BUT THEY DON'T EVER TURN TO LOOK IN YOUR DIRECTION EXCEPT THIS ONE TIME THEY DO BUT THEY'RE NOT LOOKING AT YOU THEY'RE LOOKING RIGHT THROUGH YOU LIKE YOU'RE A GHOST OR SOMETHING AND YOU START TO WONDER IF MAYBE YOU ARE A GHOST OR SOMETHING MAY ALL YOUR PEACHES SEEM RIPE WHEN YOU BUY THEM BUT TURN OUT TO BE ENTIRELY FLAVORLESS UPON BITING INTO THEM MAY THERE FOREVER BE ONE REALLY IRRITATING MOSQUITO THAT FLIES AROUND YOUR ROOM AND THAT YOU CAN NEVER CATCH AND THAT BITES YOU IN ENTIRELY INCONVENIENT LOCATIONS EACH NIGHT AS YOU SLEEP MAY EVENING FIND YOU GRACIOUS AND FULFILLED MAY YOU GO INTO THE NIGHT BLESSED SHELTERED AND PROTECTED MAY YOU BE CALMED CONSOLED AND RENEWED AND MAY YOU FEEL SAFE AND ACCEPTED AND VALUED AND LOVED WHEREVER YOU MAY BE
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