dude, this sounds pretty serious. there has to be a way to get an advocate for yourself during this time. someone to help you with appointments, and communication with others, while you're in this sort of crisis. also, have you seen a medical doctor? i don't know how you feel about meds but considering the problems you're having, even before a solid diagnosis it might be advisable to start on a medication. some kind of anxiolytic or antidepressant. im not saying you should or not but i think a trip to a doctor, even a GP or a nurse practitioner even if they have them there...
about the email. could you just delete all of the unread emails and start over? would that help? i know that's not an ideal way of dealing with it but if deleting them would get you at inbox zero and allow you to start looking at it every day again, it may be worth it?
i hope you start feeling better
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