[wHATcOLOR]

i'm working a job that i really don't enjoy. my very good friend had to do a lot of maneuvering to get me the job, and i feel a debt to him. it is his company, and we're struggling and all the pressure is on him, and i know that having a good friend there is a big source of support to him. moreso than the actual work i do.

i have been contacted by people from my old company where i enjoyed my job a lot more than this one, and they've told me that the door is open should i ever want to come back.

my boss at my current job is part of the problem, and he is likely to be replaced soon. my friend assures me things will be great once i have this new boss, and promises a raise and more stock, and has real high hopes and wants me to flourish there. he's promised to look out for me and see that i get promotions much more quickly than i could otherwise. he says it'll be huge, that he'll be able to get me into better business schools because of it, if that's what i want to do, or he'll help me develop a network that i can rely on later in life. but i simply don't enjoy it. some days i don't do a single thing, partly because i'm still not fully recovered from being depressed, partly because i can't muster up the will to do the work, it just pains my head and my heart. i haven't got much else going on in my life as a source of enjoyment, so it seems even worse than it is probably. each day i ask myself how much longer i can keep doing it. i think it is unlikely that the new boss will change that significantly.

the company is at a critical point, and if we've got a fighting chance at success, that will be made clear over the next 4 months probably.

if i were to stick around, and if the company succeed, i'd be in a real good position financially and could from that point on only work jobs that i enjoyed. i'd have really held up my end and honored the favors my friend has done to get me the job and help me develop.

if i were to leave now, i would have removed a source of misery from my life, and quite possibly have replaced it with something that'd provide stability and enjoyment, but i'd feel like i f'd over my friend, and i don't know if he'd understand where i'm coming from. i'd be turning my back on all of the gracious things he's offered.

if i were to stick it out for another 4 months (i've been there 5 months already), and if this critical period turned out to be a failure, it'd be a lot more understandable if i were to leave then. i'd have stuck it out, tried it with the new boss, supported my friend, etc. there's no guarantee the open positions at my old company would still be open.

i have a decent idea of what i'll end up doing, but you're an insightful guy and i'd like to hear your perspective, there may be some things i'm not seeing or viewing properly

and a final note, yes, i do try to put it into perspective. my life is not all that hard aside from depression and everyone has problems, with so many that are so much worse than mine