Quote:
Originally Posted by butthurt
Aren't these "groupies" just using the singer/musician as a sex object as well? They aren't going backstage expecting to have a long-term relationship with the person, are they?
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Also, I just want to add that this is such a simplistic view of what sexual desire and consent consist of. Feeling used doesn't have a whole lot to do with expecting a long-term relationship - a meaningful, mutually consented sexual encounter doesn't depend on it. Just because the girls don't expect a long-term relationship, that doesn't mean that they can't be manipulated and have their vulnerabilities exploited.
Sometimes you're in an actual relationship, and years later, you look back and think, "That thing my partner or ex-partner did - it wasn't right, was it?" And often you can't and/or don't want to claim they raped you - after all, you even initiated sex sometimes - but in hindsight you can see how the person manipulated you. People can create an environment that doesn't encourage openness; they might be "hurt" and "rejected" when you don't feel the way they expected you to, and it's easier for you to just go along. Sometimes you don't even realize you're going along until later. Or they might approach you when you're lonely, when you are vulnerable, and you hope things will be different but then they are not.
All of this can happen in a long-term relationship, and even more so in a casual encounter. Sometimes part of you wants something and another doesn't. Sometimes you undoubtedly want some sort of sexual encounter, but not ANY sort. And it's really shitty to prey on people's complex desires, to make them MORE complex than they need to be so you can obfuscate the whole issue and get what you want out of it.
Consensual sex is a conversation. It is never about using someone as "a sex object", even when you're never seeing each other again.