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Old 08-14-2016, 05:34 AM   #157
teh b0lly!!1
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Posts: 16,026

Irrational Man -

i'm all drained and empty inside so this will be short.

while i was bottoming out last night on here, this movie came on tv. it's a woody allen movie i had not even heard of, starring juaquin phoenix! holy shit. sounds promising right?

well, there's a reason i hadn't heard of it.

this was perhaps the first time i saw juaquin phoenix really shitting the bed. he didn't look like any character, he didn't breathe any life into it. he just looked like a fat juaquin phoenix on autopillot. it's a shame, because he's without a doubt one of my favorite actors ever, but this is pretty far from the standard he's set for himself.

as for his character - he's constantly blurting this nihilistic 101 bullshit and all the other characters are always blown away by how tormented and intelligent he is. it almost reminded me of that 90's thing i was recently talking about while reviewing True Romance. there are literally lines like "he's so tormented and brilliant, i need him to HAVE ME right now!".

it feels very synthetic, and unsubtle. characters behave in very fake ways. the whole plot is lifted off of Dostoevsky but it feels redundant, senseless and shallow.

on a different note, this film made me understand why people criticize woody allen as being an old geezer with an affinity for teenage girls (even regardless of the whole mia farrow thing). i never really fully got it until now. this is like the fourth or fifth Allen film i watch, and in all of them, the leading female(s) is this trophy token super-babe. and what's worse is that they're constantly changing, too, so they're never more than say, 23-24 or something.

also, there's a theme running in many of his movies of older, or established, men, pursuing hot young babes (who Allen literally almost fondles with his camera).

it's a much more subtle objectification of women than what is currently considered acceptable, but in some ways, it's just as bad imo. a woman cannot enter woody allen's realm if she is not a young, tight, brand new Scarlett Johanssen or an Emma Stone. not to say woody is the only director who does this, of course, but with him it's awfully noticeable, and the older he gets, the more it sticks out like a sore thumb.

fuck me.

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