if i had a time machine, i would rape Helen Keller
 

she wouldn't have any idea what was going on.

Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!

Q: How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A: Trying to read a stucco wall.

Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A: Corduroy.

Q: Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A: She was bobbing for french fries.

Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.

Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They left the plunger in.

Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: she needs the other to moan with.

Q: How did she burn her fingers?
A: Reading the waffle iron

Q: What did she do when she fell down the well?
A: Screamed her fingers off

Q: How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A: She was wearing mittens

Q: Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A: So you can read her lips

Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A: You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Q: Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A: Wind it up and it walks into walls.


Q: What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A: Helen Keller moaning

Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.

Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
1. Rearranged the furniture
2. Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
3. Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
4. Washed her hands with soap
5. Gave her bird-seed to read.

I cringed!

A deaf, dumb, and blind kid.

She sure played a mean pinball.

this thread is sad :(

:rofl:

I am so going to hell for the amount of laughter i just created :erm

at least she wouldn't have to listen to his favorite music !

yeah, i was going to say you better put mittens on her hands to muffle the screaming, but i missed the boat. DAMNIT!