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-   -   Fuck resume's (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=45658)

Toby 01-16-2004 09:11 PM

Fuck resume's
 
I can't get my objective to NOT sound cheezy :(

sickbadthing 01-16-2004 09:23 PM

It doesn't matter. Employers want you to blow smoke up their ass.

Lizard Queen 01-16-2004 09:48 PM

It's hard to list all of your sexual attributes, isn't it?

Toby 01-16-2004 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen
It's hard to list all of your sexual attributes, isn't it?
sure is.

melombar 01-16-2004 09:50 PM

Fuck resume's what ? :)

Toby 01-16-2004 09:53 PM

is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me :(

melombar 01-16-2004 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me :(
Dunno. I gues it depends on what you're looking for. Mine is more than a page but I've gotta list all my geeked out mad computer skillz. I've heard that is the norm for tech resumes.

Lizard Queen 01-16-2004 09:58 PM

Mention head. Everyone likes head.

Toby 01-16-2004 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen
Mention head. Everyone likes head.
WORK EXPERIENCE: Gave head on a daily basis.

Lizard Queen 01-16-2004 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby


WORK EXPERIENCE: Gave head on a daily basis.

That sure can be work at times.

Toby 01-16-2004 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen


That sure can be work at times.

Especially if it is a really big wang :(

Lizard Queen 01-16-2004 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
Especially if it is a really big wang :(
If it is a wang. Period.

gpub 01-17-2004 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me :(
Yes, that is a fact. They have tons of resumes on their desk. One page is enough. People hate shuffling through papers. ;)

dustdream 01-17-2004 02:41 AM

i've had a lot to do with applicants for jobs, and recommend the following:

first page - name, address etc, personal statement eg "XYZ has had experience in customer service, sales and administration. He/she enjoys dealing with people and is seeking a position that challenges his/her critical thinking" Education and training (list all).

Next pages - List all work experience as follows:

1999-2001 XYZ Company
Clerical Assistant

Duties -
- Answering telephone enquiries
- Maintaining client database
- Invoicing
- Reconciliation
- Report writing as required
- Liasing with clients

etc etc

Next section: Organisations and affiliations - this could be professional or personal such as Board Member for XYZ company

Hobbies and interests - well, that's obvious

Mine also has a section for writing and publishing achievements, but if you have another skill, sporting, creative whatever, put that in.
Lastly, the contact name, position and company for two referees.

Take care with cover letters - even a spelling mistake can mean you get tossed away. Answer all of the selection criteria as best you can, relating it to your past experience and ambitions for the future.

I could show you my resume, but don't want to put it online.

hope that helps
deanne


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