Netphoria Message Board - stream of pseudoconsciousness

Despite attending a so-called reputable center for higher learning, this institution doesn't seem to provide the intellectual stimulation that I currently desire. I'd rather create, not regurgitate. I have an overwhelming feeling that all I have been doing here thus far has been busywork. Being in two classes which are conducted by teachers that don't seem dedicated enough to be there doesn't help this feeling either. At the moment, I am trying to find something such as a research project that will help makeup for these years of desensitized squander; however, I am picky. The Language and Foreign Studies Department (I'm a Spanish and Latin American Studies major) here doesn't seem to offer many suitable opportunities, therefore, outside resources seem to be the best option. I am thinking about the possible continuation of a translation project that I started last semester in which I chose a short story for my Intro. to Translation class and I seemed to do well on it. Of course, picking an interesting topic makes the project more worthwhile too. I have heard that attending graduate school at an institution other than where the undergraduate degree was obtained is best because the change in scenery may offer a different perspective on the desired subject matter. Even though staying here may make life easier for some, I think my purpose is to annoy them with my existence. My presence in this academic microcosm makes me confident of my survival yet scared of my future.

My life is like the Bohr model of an atom. I am the nucleus and my friends are the electrons. The first shell can only have a maximum of two electrons (my best friends). The other shells can have a maximum of eight. When an electron from one of the inner shells is lost, it takes a lot of energy away from the atom. If an electron is lost from one of the outer shells, not much energy is lost. Distance has ripped off both of the electrons in my innermost shell. One of them will return from isolation next semester due to studying abroad in China at the moment. I'm not sure what is happening with the other... If I were an element, I wouldn't be hydrogen because it easily bonds to almost anything and everything. I don't want to set my expectations too high and try to be an inert gas. I doubt that it is possible to be that stable in real life. Perhaps I could be something like carbon. It is the element necessary for all known life, nothing too fancy.

Am I asking for too much?