Friends who fuck
 

There, talk about this. Mooney's thread is lame.

Know where I can find some?

ahhhh... friends with benefits

works out just fine for a while, until someone wants more.

And someone will always eventually want more.

Re: Friends who fuck
 

i concur, wholeheartedly. i can't see myself ever having casual sex. well there is this one friend of mine i can see myself nailing. she's even told me that she wants to, she just won't devirginize me. so once i'm no longer a virgin, i can see myself maybe nailing her once. but i can't see her becomming a fuck friend.

i have a friend i would like to have mad monkey sex with

but we both have significant others so it would never happen.

Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

Why? I never understood why so many people have a problem with fucking a virgin. It gives me a smile knowing that I've been their first.

Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

lie and said you already did.

Re: Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

i think all three or four people she has been with were virgins, and she wants my first time to be special or something.. i don't know, i'm not gonna try and understand a female.

Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

she doesn't want you remembering sex with her for the rest of your life in case its crappy

you compare everyone with your first fuck.

thats a huge responsibility!

Re: Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

*shrug* That's one of my rules too. I won't sleep with virgins. I just, yeah, feel like a person's first time should be something special that they experience with someone they're in love with. I don't want to sleep with some boy as just a casual playmate, and then have him go out the next month and meet the love of his life and regret not being able to lose his virginity to her. I know that's how I would've felt if I'd slept with the guy I dated before August. I really would've regretted it.

There are extenuating circumstances and stuff, of course. And a lot of people have told me that it doesn't work that way for guys. But it's still something I worry about.

WTF

I have gained respect for you

hey, i said that too

back in the day, i'd agree with this. but it's not always like that, especially the older & more mature you/they are.

I'm...not sure I know who you are. :\ But thank you, regardless.

In my mind friends who fuck are a little more than friends. For me to even kiss someone I have to care about them a lot and in a slightly different way than I do the majority of my friends. I can never imagining fucking a friend because I really don't have much of a desire to sleep with anyone who I'm not okay with the worst case scenerio: having a child.

so you abstain from sex until you -can- see yourself having a child with someone?

Yes. No matter what you do, there's always a risk and its such a big responsibility and put yourself in such a vulnerable position that there's no way I could ever sleep with someone when that would not be okay. I'm not saying that I've wanted to have a child with anyone I've slept with, but I could have handled and it would have been okay. Its just a huge deal to me for some reason, a much greater commitment and higher level of intimacy than it is for most of my friends.

no one night stands for you.

Right. And I support my friends in all of their crazy sexual endeavors but I just couldn't do it.

fuckin' friends.

Re: Re: Friends who fuck
 

I wouldn't describe friends with benefits as casual sex. It's someone you know, someone that you are at least somewhat attracted for, someone that you have some sort of feelings for, etc., etc. Fucking a random stranger is casual sex.

With every relationship, someone's feelings are always stronger than the other person's. Equal feelings are a pretty rare thing. So, yeah, eventually, any friends with benefits situation is bound to end badly.

I had a buddy in college who couldn't ever get laid once he told people he was a virgin because everyone he tried to hook up with, like you said, won't sleep with virgins. They all wanted his first experience to be "special and magical with leprechauns and unicorns" or "with another virgin." He went two years trying to score and then eventually did with some random chick he met at a party just to get it over with.

I think it's kinda lame for someone else to dictate when and where someone else should lose their virginity. If you were willing to have sex with him if he'd had it before, it shouldn't change the fact that he hasn't. If everyone felt as you did, this dude would never have scored.

I know that's what I always dreamed of!

This year, let's vacation in Ireland.

"PUT YER RAINBOW IN ME POT O' GOLD!"

i would edit that to "almost always"

^ No thanks

Much as I'd love everybody's first sexual experiene to involve leprechauns...

Okay, let me qualify that statement. Basically, it's not that I categorically won't sleep with virgins, no way, no how. Two of the four men I've had sex with have been virgins (although granted, with one of them I was a virgin at the time too.) But I won't sleep with virgins for whom losing their virginity - at least as far as I can gauge from knowing them as people - is a pretty significant event in their life, unless I'm a pretty significant person to them, too. So if I were, say, dating a virgin (as I was early last summer) it might be a different situation.

But since most of the virgin boys I know are still virgins primarily because they're hopeless romantics who have been waiting for 'the right girl', I don't want to fuck that up for them. Because unless I'm in a loving romantic relationship with that person, then I'm not The Right Girl. And I don't want to lead some boy into believing I am and then getting hurt. And sure, maybe some other girl will come along right after me and do just that, and that sucks...but it's not a good enough reason for me to risk breaking some boys heart.

I know there are some guys, especially once they get into college and such, for whom losing their virginity isn't a big deal, and in fact, is more something they just want to get out of the way so they can have it over and done with. If I knew someone for whom that was the case, and we were both into each other and on the same page about it, I'd probably go for it.

And like I said, there are other extenuating circumstances. You have to take every potential relationship and hookup on a case-by-case basis, based on the individual situation. But just as a general rule of thumb, if all I know about a person is that he's hot and a virgin, I'm going to assume I should refrain, just for safety's sake. Maybe I'll get to know him better and find out it's not that big a deal and then we'll have sex. It just hasn't ever turned out that way in the past.

It's not up to me to dictate the circumstances in which someone loses his virginity, no. But it is up to me to dictate who I have sex with. And if I choose not to have sex with someone - even some I'm attracted to and would otherwise have sex with - because I think it's likely that it will hurt him or he'll regret it, then that's my prerogative. Now sure, maybe he'll just go out and get fucked over by some other girl. But maybe he won't. All I know is, if I use that as an excuse for me to be irresponsible, then I'm not even giving him a chance.

< /longwinded rant >

Hmm...I should probably save that, 'cause it's something I've tried to articulate to some of the people in question before and I'm never quite sure how to explain it.

There's an easy way around that.

I used to have casual sex with this girl last year, I knew that she really liked me, but at the time I didn't really care to get involved in any kind of relationship, but we had alot of casual sex (most of the time when we were drunk) but she started to get real attached to me and stuff so I had to nip that casual sex shit in the bud before things got out of hand.

What? Having a child? Kind of, but not exactly. I mean, I've always used two methods of anti-contraceptives, but nothing is 100% and I'm not willing to risk that.

eh. i'm pretty sure abortion is 100%.

I could never have an abortion.