Quote:
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
I had a buddy in college who couldn't ever get laid once he told people he was a virgin because everyone he tried to hook up with, like you said, won't sleep with virgins. They all wanted his first experience to be "special and magical with leprechauns and unicorns" or "with another virgin." He went two years trying to score and then eventually did with some random chick he met at a party just to get it over with.
I think it's kinda lame for someone else to dictate when and where someone else should lose their virginity. If you were willing to have sex with him if he'd had it before, it shouldn't change the fact that he hasn't. If everyone felt as you did, this dude would never have scored.
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Much as I'd love everybody's first sexual experiene to involve leprechauns...
Okay, let me qualify that statement. Basically, it's not that I categorically won't sleep with virgins, no way, no how. Two of the four men I've had sex with have been virgins (although granted, with one of them I was a virgin at the time too.) But I won't sleep with virgins for whom losing their virginity - at least as far as I can gauge from knowing them as people - is a pretty significant event in their life, unless I'm a pretty significant person to them, too. So if I were, say, dating a virgin (as I was early last summer) it might be a different situation.
But since most of the virgin boys I know are still virgins primarily
because they're hopeless romantics who have been waiting for 'the right girl', I don't want to fuck that up for them. Because unless I'm in a loving romantic relationship with that person, then
I'm not The Right Girl. And I don't want to lead some boy into believing I am and then getting hurt. And sure, maybe some other girl will come along right after me and do just that, and that sucks...but it's not a good enough reason for me to risk breaking some boys heart.
I know there are some guys, especially once they get into college and such, for whom losing their virginity isn't a big deal, and in fact, is more something they just want to get out of the way so they can have it over and done with. If I knew someone for whom that was the case, and we were both into each other and on the same page about it, I'd probably go for it.
And like I said, there are other extenuating circumstances. You have to take every potential relationship and hookup on a case-by-case basis, based on the individual situation. But just as a general rule of thumb, if
all I know about a person is that he's hot and a virgin, I'm going to assume I should refrain, just for safety's sake. Maybe I'll get to know him better and find out it's not that big a deal and then we'll have sex. It just hasn't ever turned out that way in the past.
It's not up to me to dictate the circumstances in which someone loses his virginity, no. But it
is up to me to dictate who
I have sex with. And if I choose not to have sex with someone - even some I'm attracted to and would otherwise have sex with - because I think it's likely that it will hurt him or he'll regret it, then that's my prerogative. Now sure, maybe he'll just go out and get fucked over by some
other girl. But maybe he won't. All I know is, if I use that as an excuse for
me to be irresponsible, then I'm not even giving him a chance.
< /longwinded rant >
Hmm...I should probably save that, 'cause it's something I've tried to articulate to some of the people in question before and I'm never quite sure how to explain it.
