bit of a fever and cough the last few days. also noticing some shortness of breath that’s out of the ordinary.

unfortunately it’s opening night of the High Fives, Handshakes, & Hugs Festival — and hell if I’m not going to be there!

i bought these tickets months ago

propagating sickness and infections

making bad coronavirus related jokes.

Anybody ever get a feeling that feels like guilt, except you're not sure what it is you're feeling guilty about?

I don't even know why this is possible. It seems weird that there would be such a thing as identifiable "guilt sensations." Like, you'd think we'd only infer that we "feel guilt" when we (a) have done something we know or think is wrong, and (b) feel bad or sad whenever we reflect on or direct our attention to that action. You'd think it would just be an inference made on the basis of feeling sad and the propositional knowledge of having done something, rather than guilt having its own unique sensations distinct from sadness even in the absence of that propositional knowledge. And what's weirder is that when I reflect on certain possible causes, I go, "nah, that's not it," as if I have direct, privileged knowledge of whether a given action I've done or event I've experienced is the cause of a certain emotion. Do I, or is that an illusion caused by introspection bias?

Also, re-enabling Grammarly was the funniest decision I've ever made.

Emotions and feelings in general are weird. I don't think we even have an agreed-upon account of what they actually even are at their core.

Saying they are a "mental state" isn't very illuminating, as that's a vague term. William James and Carl Lange thought that emotions were actually the result of somatic sensations. In other words, we don't experience increased heart rate, trembling, and sweating because we're afraid. It's the other way around. A stimulus produces these somatic sensations in us, and from that, we reason that we must be experiencing fear.

There's a philosopher (can't remember who) that argued that emotions aren't actually really about feelings, but they are judgments, because they have propositional content. "Judgements" are a type of "propositional attitude," and a propositional attitude is a mental state that has some propositional content, or, is about a proposition. "The car is red" is a proposition. "It will rain tomorrow" is also one. Belief is a type of propositional state, because one does not simply "believe," but one might believe that "the car is red" or that "it will rain tomorrow." A propositional attitude is essentially a relationship between a thinker and a proposition, as one may also dislike that the car is red, or remember that it will rain tomorrow. People can be in different relationships with the same proposition.

And emotions are just further examples of the relationships a thinker may be in with a propostion. John isn't simply angry. He's angry that somebody keyed his car. His anger is a judgement about the fact that somebody keyed his car. As the theory goes, at least. Even when John is at a party enjoying himself, not directing his attention to the keying of his car, and not feeling anything negative, it's still a true fact about him that he's angry that somebody keyed his car, the same way that it's still true about me that "I believe the Earth is round," even when I am not currently thinking about the Earth or its shape.

It's an interesting theory, but it seems unintuitive to me. It seems to be that "feelings" still have to be an integral part of emotions. And as for the James-Lange theory and things like Skinner's behaviouralism, it seems like it's partly true, in that we often make inferences about our emotions from our sensations and behaviours the same way we make inferences about other people's emotions from their behaviours, rather than having direct access to knowledge about them. But it seems like its missing something. For example, even though Stephen Hawking could probably not feel sensations like a "drop in the pit of his stomach," I'm pretty sure that he could still determine when he was afraid.

What I find even more interesting about this is the fact that we can seemingly progress in conducting science about emotions in psychology, without even really knowing what emotions are! A psychologist can still generate, test, and support theories about how emotions affect decision-making, or the relationship between upbringing and emotions, without committing to any philosophical account of what it even means for something to be an "emotion."

^has coronavirus, apparently

No, he's always like that.

I've never known DK to be expressive and long-winded. That's not the Disco Stu I know.

Those 75-year-old candidates may have to ixnay on the kissing of hands and shaking of babies.

As for voting, where I live at least, it hasn't really necessitated me spending considerable amounts of time in three-meter radii of other people. I talk to some guy sitting behind a table for two minutes, then go into a ballot booth that's already quite separated from any other humans for privacy reasons.

I can understand this may be different in countries that purposely close polling stations in an attempt to suppress the vote, though. Only times I've had to even wait in a line to vote was when I did early voting, which is ironically usually less convenient than just voting on voting day.

What the fuck, how did these posts end up in this thread and not the coronavirus one

Then that pandemic happened, like clockwork. Sorry, world.

A little bit irritated right now.

Was just cleaning my room when my mom asks me to drop off some things at my sister's apartment. Didn't really want to because it just snowed and my mom has only got worn-down all-season tires instead of proper winter tires, meaning that the only way I can drive her vehicle safely in these conditions is by driving so slowly that I'm probably an obstruction to traffic. I already have driving anxiety because I'm just a plain shitty driver, but whatever, I can't really say "no," because she'd get cross and it'd probably be a big deal. And I need to give my sister her late gift anyway, so may as well hit two birds with one stone.

I call my sister to ask her if she'll be home. She says yes. So I go and tell her I'm on my way.

I get to her apartment and text her to let her know I'm outside. No response. After waiting ten minutes, I call. No response. I wait another five minutes and call again. No response. I buzz her door (which is just as good as calling, because it goes straight to her phone). No response. All together, I wait 20 minutes before deciding to leave. My mom's car doesn't have enough gas for the trip back home, so I fill it up before heading home.

I get home and my mom calls my sister. Her boyfriend picks up. I guess she didn't hear her phone ring because she was in the bathroom.

I mean, if you're already expecting somebody over, you're probably actually watching your phone in the first place, but whatever. Who expects somebody over and thinks nothing of it when they don't hear from them for over an hour? Doesn't even check their phone to see if they called, let alone contact that person themselves? She apologized, so I can't really harp on it or say anything other than "that's okay." I just hope my mom doesn't send me back over there to make the delivery, because I don't want to have to make another trip. This is my day off. I just wanted to spend it working on shit I have to do.

I recommend never speaking to your family ever again.