PHONE BAD—The Official Boomer Comic Thread
 

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This one is my all-time favourite:

Good vixnix content.

awesome post. hilarious

I would post some good classic duovamp content but thankfully the world and even netphoria caught up with my opinion that openly coveting young teenage girls and treating them as sex objects is gross and unacceptable

So we are generally spared

A++

We're all sex objects

Except for me.

He treats objects like women, man.

Openly coveting crummy teenage girls? He should be openly coveting Pokémon creatures!

we waded through a powerpoint
about why not to smoke a joint,

and how estrogen + testosterone
will leave you tending child at home.

(now getting fat is no good either!
slide front to back, while wiping beaver.)

we sat in silence, post-lunch napping
fingers on our desks were tapping,

then ms. hodgkins sent the boys away,
"ladies listen now to what i say:

at some point when your body's ready
a trickle of blood, slow and steady

will rend your peace, sorry: it's true.
but there's something more important to tell you.

the first time that you feel a cramp,
watch out for that devil, duovamp!

he'll try to get you in his car,
buy you drinks down at the bar.

and when he's got you good and drunk,
a camera whips out of his trunk

'it's just a little point-and-shoot''
he says, with lens aimed at your coot

if you raise objection, say you can't stay,
he'll tell you that "it's fine, i'm gay!"

next thing you know, you've got gonorrhea
and your photo's posted on net-for-eea!

so do drugs, eat unhealthy if you must,
but heed my warning of duovamp's lust!"

Lol this might be funny if you're white

ok boomer

W̷̰̟͋̾̋̓̈́̀͠ȟ̷̨̧̩̤̲͓̖̟̈͜o̸͚͖͒̓̋̑̉̾ ̷̨̢̬͉̥̙̳̖̳͉͗̓͘͝͝h̸͕̆̊́̔̅̃́̚ͅȩ̵̼̼̖͍̜̤̜͕̉̐ṛ̵̥̮͚͎̐͆ ̜͜ę̵̢̛̮̫̗̤̤̣̟̳̓̔̔ ̶̖̠̱̽̃̽̄͠ͅh̵̻̫̲̲̺̠̋̈́͜ͅa̴̰̻͚͓͛͑t̵̻̺̭̹͇̄̂͊͊͑͑é̵͋̒̿̕ ̬̱̍s̶͕͓͉͇͐͂̈́́͑̌̒̓̚̕ ̴̨͚̙̼̎̾̈̄͐͘͝ţ̵̘̦̮̬̗̼̼̿͠h̷̡̼͖̞̖̊̑̿̈̓̌͐̕͝ě̷͕̪̟̍͘͘͝ ̡͍̜̞̭ǐ̷̧͚̻̗̼̣͔̊̍͗͛̏̐͘̕r̵̢̛͔̮̫̥̄̉͌̈͊͠ ̷̨̧͔̘̼͈̭̬͙́̈́̃̉́̄̏̚͝͠ͅw̴̡̠̘̬͍̤̰͓͐̌̐͒͌̀̽͒̀ì̶͕̣͊̀̊ͅͅ ̹̺͇̱̹ͅf̶̨̛̼͉̾̽͌̃̀è̶̘̪͖̦̈́͒̉͐̋̀?̸̭͓̥̘͗͂̈́͜

Theory: the reason so many boomer comics revolve around hatred of one's own spouse is because boomer's got married just before laws and attitudes surrounding divorce liberalized. Instead of ending marriages that are not healthy or fulfilling, many of them may carry the expectation and belief that marriage is immutable, and that "responsible adults" don't end their marriages, because they married "for better or for worse."

K

Not only is this stuff just copied and pasted from some Imgur gallery, you're not even writing the comments? What is this?

I made the Imgur gallery I'm linking to in order to prevent link-rot.

I'm always ahead of the game.

What you non-Commonwealth plebs always look like three months after posting an image:

OH HEY IT'S DISCO KING



EXPLAIN THE BRITISH ENGLISH YOU CHARLATAN

Canadians use British spellings for many words

"Canada—is that an app?"

Silly millennials who don't know what is book

the irony in all this is that the most phone-obsessed people i know/have known are boomers. love sending a text message then following it up with a good ol' "????" 5 minutes later

actually that is what is known as a "paradox"

Oh I didn't realize you were lesser; you don't come off that way most of the time

Sorry, my bad

ok

yeah I think this is pretty widely recognized by younger people. boomers are the fucking rudest with their phones and shit

I ain't lesser. I'm fewer.

Boomers are also more likely to believe everything they read on the internet and fall for clickbait titles.

Older people more likely to share fake news on Facebook, study finds

cause that's the only correct kind

someone better tell buttcannon

Yes it could be this. But it could also be because living with someone for a long time is hard. I mean, I wonder if we could replace a spouse with a long term housemate in the average boomer comic, and it would describe the same things but to a different audience. Sharing a home space with other humans is hard

should have thought of that before you decided to love with someone long-term

jeez that typo is too apt to fix

This is an AI-generated comic strip about millennials killing things

Beneath it there's a link to the Boomer-written article that spawned it

yesterday I said baseball tickets were too expensive and it's logical to just buy MLB.TV and watch every game from home for the price of 2 mediocre tickets, if you're into that

Boomers had a field day with this comment. "Millenials just want to cry!". "You can afford it, stop whining!"

I was like OK boomer, you can't claim millenials are fiscally irresponsible while deriding them for not wasting money on exorbitantly priced dumb shit. Like those two beliefs are incompatible. You have to pick one. And that is the heart of boomerism: a refusal to acknowledge the systemic ways our society constrains us all economically. Instead they blame individuals and easy to identify cultural trends like cell phones and avocados. While spending $240 per month on Comcast cable and a land line. And baseball tickets with $12 Miller Lites. And even when we don't partake in this dumb shit it's still our fault that cost of living has increased disproportionately to wages.

Boomers, man.

Corporate capitalism killed Sears. I wish millenials had the organization to cohesively band together and selectively kill malignant aspects of society. I used to work at fucking Sears. The writing was on the wall 30 years ago. Ask Mitt Romney about extracting every possible drop of value from a brand before tossing it in the headline graveyard of things millenials killed. Applebee's, you're next! I'd kill you if I could, but you guys already know what you're doing!

Anyway we're putatively kicking boomers, so I though I'd chime in while I take a shit at work like a good lazy millennial. Hope that's OK.

That's all there is to it, really

Just like a millennial to tell me i have to pick various beliefs while discarding others that are logically incompatible! You uppity fucken millennials think ya got the whole world figured out! Well guess what! You’re one sperm droplet away from having been wiped off your mamas taint area! So there! I was here when you were just hanging out in the darkness inside my ballsack! Try that on for size ya big smarty college boys/girls!

Sorry....i guess i channeled my dad a bit there. Thanks dad!

References to the maternal taint was not quite what I expected from the Mormon doom cult patriarch.