cool

i had beef for the first time today. so far so good. i took an atkins chili con carne meal, heated it up, made 4 different 45 g portions and put 3 in the fridge and ate one. i tried to take out the small pieces of pepper but i definitely ate some. so far i'm ok. i had this meal from before

i had beef for the first time in seventh grade. the other kid's nose is still all fucked up lmao

(also good luck with the real beef)

that actually gives me a clearer insight on how little you're eating than listing the grams does. those meals are woefully small, i can't even imagine splitting it into thirds. anyway, keep up the high spirits and the good work. :)

into fourths, actually

i did have a tiny bit of heartburn overnight, but otherwise the peppers didn't hurt me. i'm going back to my grocery job today (it's now what I consider my side job). only 7 hours but it's the day before easter so... I'm sure it'll be fine, but a little apprehensive for all the "hey! where have you been?" from co-workers and customers. Some of my co-workers know, and I'm going to tell the others I had surgery but not go into details. I haven't decided on customers yet, probably just say I was on vacation.

Forgive my stupidity, but what does this mean long-term as far as what you're allowed to eat? For example, will you be eating "standard" meals again at some point?

I respect the hell out of what you're doing, btw.

Eventually I'll be able to eat bigger meals, but probably not standard size or what most people consider to be standard size. The pouch can only hold about 2-3oz (volume) right now. It should end up at about 8oz. After a long time, yeah it might stretch more than that. But for at least a few years it'll be really small. For example, maybe a complete frozen meal might be OK in a year or so.

The one I split into 4 servings is 9oz, but it was fairly watery and I need to avoid liquids and solids at the same time. So it probably lost a decent amount just from that. 9 oz is 255 grams and my servings are only 180g total.

I think people are different, too. If I'm careful and don't mix solid/liquid or drink any carbonation it should take a quite a while to stretch. My old stomach was the size of a football.

and thanks.

So, probably by the time you reach the point where your stomach might be OK for a larger meal, you'll probably not even want or desire that much food anyway? Pretty cool.

i could really use a cheeseburger tbh, but i would get so sick, and i'd only be able to take a bite or two anyway.

today sucked at work. i started having pain in my abdomen almost immediately, and i haven't had a problem with that since a few days after surgery. then my upper body started just aching, i guess i haven't had to hold it up very much in a while. then i started feeling really bad, like i got hit by a bus. basically by 3-4 hours i felt like i'd worked an entire day. i thought it was dehydration so i drank a lot of water (over time) and then puked some of that up. i also took some liquid tylenol which was completely gross. only liquid we had was for children and i had to take a huge dose and man it was terrible. it also had sugar in it which i didn't realize before i took it, so that probably didn't help considering i haven't been eating much sugar

after i puked i felt so much better but by then i was leaving in 30 minutes. i also took quite a few small breaks which i'm not really entitled to but whatever. it was slow.

0/10 fuck

i was also wondering if my BP was low. i came home and checked it and it was 105/49. i'm seeing my doctor on wednesday, probably going to go down on BP meds. i already am off one of the two i was taking. my sugar is probably low too but that's to be expected.

basically eating 400 calories a day and moving around a lot doesn't compute right now

i went to my friend's for easter

i had a few chips with cheese, two shrimp, maybe 1/2 cup macaroni and cheese, and a tiny little bit of watermelon. this is over about 2 hours

then i had one cookie and one gummy worm. one of these made me sick. i think i had more sugar today than in the last month combined.

so i ate all the things i'm not supposed to eat so that's not good. then again it was a holiday and whatever. im not crying about it

my stomach hurts today. like i could tell you exactly where it is, because it's a very localized pain. I called work and told them I needed to be off tomorrow. I first felt the pain while I was working on Sat, but yesterday was fine. Today I walked across a parking lot to see my therapist but when I walked back it started hurting. Then I was at the store and kept having pain once in a while. I came home and went to bed and just woke up and it's ok so far, but I literally haven't left the bed.

Internet says if it's pain that gets progressively worse to call the doctor, but that hasn't happened. It also says leaks are usually accompanied by tachycardia, which I don't have. But I'm also on blood pressure meds, and my BP is fairly low right now because I probably need to get off one of them. So I don't fuckin' know. I know if I call them I'll have to haul my ass out to Weston to the emergency room and I really don't want to do that. But if it's worse overnight I'll call tomorrow. I didn't wake up with any pain.

I gotta get some work done tonight. No monies.

Is your job at least being chill and understanding during this time?

they have been so far, yes. you get auto-separated if you miss like 28 days without working but i worked sat so that reset. i mean hopefully i'll go on friday and be fine. but yeah they've been somewhat surprisingly nice

i had pepperoni today, was not a good choice. i think my last meal is just going to be something really mild, like turkey. i need something with like no fat, i can tell. somehow

I'm sure you're fit for your job, if it's being chill and understanding

maaaan, you only ate one gummi worm? that sounds hard to do.

i can maybe limit myself to 5 if i were only wanting to eat 1.

I'm sure you're fit, chill and understanding.

wasn't hard at all, it took me like 20 minutes to get through it lol. i know the sugar was going to be a lot for me to take. i just nibbled.

thanks for the compliment. but my grocery store job is really usually not understanding but in this case they have been. they usually are with major things such as surgery, car accident, etc. but everyday illness they will give you are hard time.

I hate that culture. I don't want a sick cashier handing me money or touching my food.

going back to work take 2

have a note from my doctor that i need a 10 min break every two hours.

good luck. how long are you shifts?

this weekend they are only 6-7 hours, thankfully. usually they are 6-8 hours depending.

10 minute breaks helped immensely. i have two issues going on, 1) actual pain from stomach/abdomen and 2) just feeling tired as fuck after any exertion

1 is sorta troubling. just like knife stabbing (not that terrible, like 4 or 5/10). like i could probably tell you exactly where my stomach is, it's very acute and in the exact same place over and over. 2 is probably me just being even less conditioned than i normally am. but just walking around is causing me to be short of breath a little. but i'm going from nothing to 6 hours on my feet at a time (more or less). i didn't have a break today (a 30 or 60 minute) and i don't believe they scheduled one for tomorrow either.



both of my managers are being transferred, today was their last day. so i'm going to have new managers and gonna have to be like... hey, i gotta have extra breaks. i swear it's not usually like this...

i dont understand the wisdom of replacing both managers at once. our schedules are going to be all fucked up. how are they supposed to know who to schedule? and if they look at the past few weeks i'm not even on there, so that probably wouldn't be so good for me.

i also went down to 3 days at work. they were squaring away paperwork before they left and i happened to be in the office when they were checking mine so i had them take off tuesdays. yay.

I'm glad work is being accommodating. Retail is generally a shit show when it comes to how employees are treated.

i have lost 63.1 lbs since 03/26

wow! nice going

thanks

i bought some new work pants. most of my pants still fit but are getting loose for sure. definitely fit much better than they did before. there's this shitty cycle when you're constantly gaining weight of wearing stuff until it's impossible to wear it anymore, so you're constantly wearing tight clothing. feels nice to not be in tight clothing right now.

i had about a week late april/early may where i didnt lose any weight at all but the past week has been like 1-2lbs a day, it's freaky

:bananadance:

keep up the great work!!