amerika
 

is een heel erg groot land

say, I come to America, what do I need to see

presuming everything is in a three hour radius from the America airport

the Big Ben? Eiffel Tower? Statue of Freedom?

The Twin Towers? Madame Zuzus? Blockbusters?

Doesn't Paul Hem have a statue in the province of Canada?

America, home of the perestrojka, land of the glasnost. I truly can't wait. What city is worth visiting more, Kennedygrad or Lincolngrad?

In what fast food chain can i obtain the cheapest STD? I'm getting super sized at the thought!

you need to eat donuts and gravy, and easy-cheese ice cream

don't forget the bacon pie!!

you definitely want to visit the Giant Mechanical War Machine and the Hall of the Hillbilly, but be sure to go during National Xenophobia Week

Nothing is safe to eat, unless it has corn in it.

Those sound awesome! I love foreign cultures. Very interested in National Xenophobia Week

we're vegetarians though, we take corn if it has corn in it

I was vegan/vegetarian (depending on what was available) when I visited. I remember trying to find something to eat at a diner in New Orleans, and finally choosing the stuffed peppers, which in my mind were going to be stuffed with rice and beans and onion and garlic and maybe cheese. They came, and were stuffed with ground beef. I cut my losses and skipped lunch, and was reading the ingredients on the soy sauce sachet while my friends ate, just for something to do. There was corn, in the soy sauce. I was like...this country has lost its mind.

That was 19 years ago though.

it's only gotten better!

IN AMERIKA
FIRST U GET DA SUGAR
THEN U GET DA POWA
THEN U GET DA WOMEN

that's souf amerika

souf lundun

Sarf laandaahn, actually.

apologies accepted

things got a lot less hypothetical today! Going to Canada and the US in July! Hoobastank! Maga! Queen Elizabeth!

iz gettin' hot in herre (nof merka)

so it's gonna be Toronto, Montreal, Massachusetts, Vermont and NY. tips?

stay in your room! it's a trap!

da nizzo's or whatever it's called

As your attorney I advise you to just stay in Canada. There are horrendous things happening to people on a daily basis in the US so it's probably best that you don't witness any of it in person.

that's all gonna be fine now that trump is prez!

McDonald's and golf again!

4) Do you seek to engage in or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities, espionage, sabotage, or genocide?