you know I'm not fred (ask anyone anything)
 

If you had to choose between being deaf and being blind, which would you choose and why?

If Poots texted you, how long would you wait before texting him back, if ever?

I would choose being blind. Could not live without listening to music.

What's one thing you buy at the grocery store that you feel ashamed of but can't stop buying regardless?

Depends on a lot of things. I usually try to respond all texts, but it might slip through the cracks who knows.

I feel self conscious about buying toilet paper still.

I slipped through Took's mom's cracks.

Haha, wow.

Today I bought bagels, a loaf of bread and hamburger buns. I felt insanely self-conscious about all the carbs I had bought, even though I freeze most of it and use it between paychecks (every two weeks).

Oh, and I also bought raw pizza dough.

Best compliment you have received?

Ever fell victim to a prank call? If yes what was it?

Ugly and live forever or look attractive but die in a year?

It's not the best one, but it's the first one that comes to mind:

The week after my wife and I initially separated (before reuniting and failing to stay together), the checkout girl at the grocery store told me I smelled good. That definitely lifted my spirits quite a bit.

Ugly and live forever. I'm a decent looking fellow as far as I can tell, but I live like a hermit with a dayjob, so I may as well be ugly.

But I wouldn't wanna live forever. Can I die after a hundred years or so?

I'd buy that and eat it in front of checkout bread is king

Eating loaf of french bread RIGHT NOW

Worst item combination to buy at a grocery store?

Oh man, deaf for sure. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a chump.

Yeah, I used to have advertisements for guitar lessons up on Craigs-list that I would subsequently share on social media and one time some ex-gf's friend called up and pretended to be a mom calling for lessons for her son. I totally bought it hook-line and sinker.

Me and my pals used to prank-call people all of the time. There was this website, I forget which, which had like buttons with phrases from certain movie characters and you'd press em and the guy on the other hand would just answer and go along all confused until they realized what was up.

One we used a lot was Joe Pesci from Goodfellas, that was funny.

What personality trait do you dislike the most on other people?

deaf. it'd suck to not hear music, but i think ultimately being blind is more of a disability

hard-boiled eggs. already hard-boiled. they cost about 3x a much as raw eggs but they are cooked perfectly and i'm really that lazy

arrogance

Deaf for qwerty

Do you believe the earth is flat?

Bread is good and filling and especially helpful if you are on a budget, but a single dude buying all that shit definitely looks and feels off.

Yeah, same. Music is my favorite thing, but if I couldn't see, I'd have a really hard time with life. At least being deaf, you can see where you're going and still watch TV and junk.

I believe Took's mom is flat.

realmofdarkness.net

One of my favorite corners of the internet circa 2002-2005.

See also: Homestarrunner.com and ebaumsworld

Nothing like getting drunk and high with friends and watching flash cartoons.

People who talk about themselves constantly and show little to no interest in the experiences of others.

This one guy from my work, who is now a supervisor and will probably run the fuckin' company one day because he's a little corporate shit waiting to bloom, is totally like that. We had one of our managers in our store die, he had some kind of heart failure or attack that killed him one night. He had been into work that day and it was sudden. So we all found out the next morning and this guy goes "I'll always remember Bobby. He was the first person I ever opened with." Fair enough, but whenever someone asked about Bobby the rest of the day (which is probaby 5-10 times per hour because we are right by the time clock) all about their special connection and how he will never forget him because he opened with him the first time he opened. He talked about it like he was his best man at his wedding or something.

Funny how some people see death itself as an opportunity to advance their own "brand"

For example this fucken guy wanted everyone to know that he was a Friend of Bobby lol

Meanwhile, Bobby's like "I don't even know that guy?" from the afterlife.

Fucking Dylan. His name was Dylan, wasn't it?

actually he had a crazy long indian name but everyone just called him bobby

Naw I mean the guy that was all "I knew Bobby, I opened up to him"

His name was Trevor, wasn't it?

Brandon?

Braydon?

Geoff?

Aiden?