Which Middle-Earth character are you?
 

First Age I'd go with Maeglin (traitor who can't get a babe)

Third Age I'd go with Grima (traitor who can't get a chick)

I can't think of any traitors who can't get babes/chicks in the Second Age.

I took a weird online test and got this result:

Your personality is a combination of: The Witch-king and Tom Bombadil

You got: Ent

You are very chill. The absolute chillest. You’re contemplative, level-headed, and you’d rather not keep up with the fast pace of the modern world. You value your alone time, and it’s not that you’re antisocial per se, it’s just that you prefer the company of trees over people.

Congratulations! You are...
Galadriel
Many people look up to your beauty, power and wisdom. Perhaps this is what has made you proud. You have the ability to know the minds of others.

wow i'm amazing

i feel a lot better about myself now

fuck you, i'm Ent!

Thats not very ent-like of a response

i don't know shit about middle earth but i took that same quiz and got that result qed

ent

Untroo fan alert!!!

(Osgiliath an "orcish stronghold? Pshaw!)

Also ent doesn't mean shit. you motherfuckers are cheating. treebeard or quickbeam yes. ent no.

also someone needs to remove crabshacka pernicious presence from this most divine thread of mine your welcome that rhymed.

Right so back to poots' pathetic blunder, Minas Morgul is the "orcish" stronghold opposing Minas Tirith. Osilgiliath the old capital was laid waste betwixt them an urban battleground of fierce contention.

Also when you said you wanted to be like Denethor you meant that you wanted your mind to be warped by the Dark Lord.

Some of you are sadly oit of your element. I suspect Peter Jackson (may his beard breed maggots) is to blame.

Does the Witch King have any discernible personality?

Tom Bombadil was like a happy-go-lucky nature lover.

has anyone ever noticed how the dwarves are like mythical jewish people who live underground? this honestly just occurred to me recently

Tom Bombadil section in fellowship was scary as F to me as a kid, man

Don't mess with the Bombadil

The Old Forest/Barrow Downs is definitely the scariest part of the book. When they get separated from each other in the fog and are ambushed by the Wight, that shit is terrifying. The horror aspect is like something out of a different book.

Yeah Frodo waking up in the barrow is tripcore.

the witchking figures in shit like the annals of arnor and gondor. not much of a character but his name alone not to mention his mount makes up for it.

Interesting shit about dwarves and jews rbg. when i was in college i wrote a paper comparing the annals of gondor and arnor to chronicles and kings. lol it was weak but there's a northern and a southern kingdom a menace from the east the northern kingdom gets wiped out first etc

The appendix to the return of the king is better than lotr tbh. the war of the dwarves and orcs is fucking SENESENT.

yeah Tolkien is heavily focused on ideas of national character. the dwarves are misunderstood recluses who don't integrate into the larger societies of Middle-earth. they grow beards and they have a major thing for money and treasure. Their language is even Semitic sounding. They are totally a caricature of Jews living in Europe. Their creation story is even a tip-off. They were created as a well-intentioned but misguided imitation of the TRUE children of the God figure in Tolkien's universe. He even gives an explanation for why they were around before his chosen races.

it's kind of interesting to analyze him through the kind of critical lenses that never would have occurred to me when I was actually into reading him over and over. I would like to reread LOTR to see how it seems at this point in my life. I last read it about nine years ago, but who has time to keep rereading the same books?

LOTR is always taught in terms of how it manages conflict. It's a book about wars.

I'm a hobbit according to buzzfeed so let's say I'm Gormadoc "Deepdelver" Brandybuck.

I don't think it's taken very seriously from a critical standpoint at all. the only place LOTR might be taught in the English program I graduated from was comparative fantasy lit or something

Definitely not as critically analyzed as the "greatest" works of English literature ever written, to which it surely does not compare. But it's absolutely worthy of discussion. *puffs pipe*

LOTR bridges highbrow lit and pop lit in a way that makes academics uncomfortable I think. They can do Chaucer and they can do Neil fucking Gaiman but somehow when those worlds aren't clearly separated it's a problem

Is that what the last Hobbit movie was based upon?
God that film suuuuucked.

the second two hobbit films are an absolute travesty. like worse than the star wars prequels. that last one was almost unwatchable. peter jackson has something wrong with his head

Agreed. I wish Guillermo del Toro had directed those films as it was originally planned.

Also, it really didn't have to be a whole other trilogy.

I was in favor of them doing 2 movies, which was the original plan under del Toro I believe. I thought 2 films would have been a good amount of room for them to tell the whole story in full plus contextualize it all with a bit of info from the LOTR appendices (Unfinished Tales also has a whole segment on the "Quest of Erebor" which was written for LOTR but taken out of the final draft altogether).

The first movie wasn't even that bad, especially the beginning was done pretty well IMO. I have no idea what the fuck happened next but it was bad. the shit with orlando bloom and kate from lost is unforgivable

Jackson is a just another dude, who like George Lucas, has an incredible amount of vision but very poor taste. The best movie was Fellowship where he was working in a constrained way with people looking over his shoulder and on actual budget. Things seemed organic and lived-in and real. The bigger the budget and the bigger the expectations, the worse the result.

Peter Jackson can choke on the flaming phallic shafts of winged and non-winged balrogs.

i hate to even think about those abominations the hobit films. they were utterly untrue to the spirit. of the book. its not some grand epic tale its a children's story jrr told his sons. total fucking sellout. and yes they added shit from the lotr appendixes loosely based of course.

what really pisses me off is that I really like the actors for bilbo and mithrandir. waste.

I think studio Ghibli should do the Hobbit but that's just a dream. :)

Really? I think the same dude did a bit of lotr too. i never checked them out for some reason.