yeah. i think i may be done with israel, living there wise - but i'll be visiting at some point, i guess. i know shipping it will probably cost you a ridiculous fortune - so if i can help by picking it up for you and bringing it closer, or ship it to you from shanghai, let me know. you know u my bro.

When I first came I wouldn't post on gen chat cause it was like the cool kids and their cliques and outrageous jokes. Then I slowly tried to emulate that but people never thought I was funny. I would get taken seriously when I was completely joking, and viciously attacked. So then I started attacking people back similarly, calling them faggots and shit. I honestly have no idea why I played this role for so many years. As I got older I gained the ability to sometimes come across well here, and then it became like a game I never fully understood; like how do I get people to react positively to my jokes and shit. Ultimately in hindsight I realize there was no winning strategy, this place was just a pit which was humorous to me because I was immature and thought being a colossal piece of shit to people was funny, probably in large part because it's what these other posters (most of whom were much older than me) were doing.

I came back in 2015 and it was nostalgic for a few weeks and then Trots and Eulogy started piling on me again and I was like fuck this shit forever, but it was immediately followed by them leaving and the whole dynamic of the board changing. Glad I stuck around now cause I feel like I honestly know some boarders here and am familiar with their lives and I enjoy talking about the shit we are all going through. But yeah it was a long strange road.

haha oh god, this matches my experience perfectly.
i would make what - to me - were the most obvious jokes, and i would get flamed relentlessly for it. then when i attacked people back, i was 'butthurt' or 'lashing out'. then it became about emulating a certain style in order to fit in, which even more upsettingly, worked. the netphoria hardcore punk rock corporation. fuck that shit. even when it worked, it felt like a lie. it was all basically kindergarten dynamics: the biggest, loudest boys molding their surroundings to be how they want them. and if you're not in on the clique, tough shit. but once all those guys were gone, this place actually became constructive.

i have generally always tried to be nice and helpful and forthcoming and i think a lot of people didn't trust that, i know trots didn't for a long time but i think he came around. when i first started posting a lot though, i was really mentally unwell and at times addicted to drugs so i don't remember it very well but i know a lot of people thought i posted too much. i def overshared and i did get into fights a tiny bit, but not blowouts. i mean i've probably had 3-4 the whole time, the most recent being with CW

i remember asking eulogy one time how him being an asshole to somebody could possibly be constructive to the situation and he said something like 'who says i'm trying to be constructive' and i was like, in my own mind, hold up. isn't that what people are usually trying to do, learn something and figure how to live peaceful amongst each other? kind of blew my mind tbh

like obviously there are narcissistic and psychopathic people out there who might not even understand what that is, but the idea that many people are just forging ahead with what they want to do with minimal concern for others' feelings and desires (except those close to them) was really strange to me

I would plan a trip for this as weird as it sounds. But with my bf so it's not too weird. I got no business in pittsburgh otherwise

I know this might be a dopey question, but are you originally from Brazil? Have you lived there your whole life? Just curious is all.

Yes and yes.

Hey rbg why not drive up and we do a mini meet up with duovamp

Looking back, it is strange and unfortunate that so many adult people here (people in their 20s mostly back then I guess) were essentially operating on this extremely juvenile, high school level idea of humor and conduct. As a high schooler, I think I got a warped sense of what young adult life is actually like, and how one is expected to behave at that age. It's kind of a shame that Netphoria was such a big part of my life because I'm sure it was not healthy to be exposed to so many deplorables

I liked to think this was more like an escape valve to a lot of people instead of an accurate portrayal of what they were actually like as people.

That helped me sleep at night.

Can't agree with this more. The old, proud to be mentally unhealthy crowd is still around being sick and weird sometimes too. I am trying not to be full on mayfuck/**** in my personal life and boarding life but it tough

I searched for something recently and was looking through threads in the archives... the casual meanness, coarseness, disregard for boarders as real humans, sexism, racism, general nasty hatefulness... it was pretty extreme. Very weird to think about now, but it was kind of exciting for me at first (almost the way going into high school and seeing how the older kids talk and act is like :O:O:rockon:)

but then all the negativity became normalized for me. I'm sure it was not a good influence on my mental state and my perception of the world

Most 20-somethings are still teenagers at heart, take that to mean what you will.

Manipulation and flat out abuse and harassment. Pedophilia. There were no holds barred back in the day

many people seem to be able to separate their online persona and conduct from their real life one. i was never really able to do that. i say the same things on here that i would say in a conversation, i take offense to what i would take offense in a real life scenario. i've been posting here for 10 years and i've never had a single alt account. it's weird how i kept coming to the easiest place in the world to be anonymous and let my negative sides loose, but never really had any interest in doing it. like rbg said, i did make attempts at being coarse in order to ascertain my worth here or whatever, but it never lasted long because i don't enjoy it, it's not who i am. as a result of that, there were many times i really did take offense to some of the shit people on here said to me. especially trots.

I agree to a certain extent that this place and the internet in general brings out the worst in people, not necessarily their everyday selves. You can still see it in boarders like ninsp... everyone knows that guy doesn't act like that in real life, because he would get tossed out of his fancy phd program and wouldn't be able to make a friend to save his life. but he still feels some drive to come here and act like that. Maybe it is a release, or a catharsis of something he can't do in the real world. Who knows.

But everyone here called each other by their first names, posted extensive photos of themselves and the people in their lives, met each other in real life, shared personal information very openly (the grosser the better)... people posted nude photos of their exes, their own genitals... I mean there really were no rules and to my developing mind, it was hard to tell where the fantasy ended and where their real lives began. To me, it all seemed like one and the same.

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to explain away the nasty shit that went down. I've witnessed my share of it.
There were some truly vile individuals that frequented this boards, all joking aside that can't be said enough.

I don't know anyone :(

But you got a christmas card from one

I did yes! :D

Does that count?
I'm so happy about that

Yeah I licked it all over so you were inevitably covered with my dna when you opened it (I am just kidding)

hey how have you been!

hello old friend