hey, you!, I need a column idea NOW
 

I gotta get it done by tomorrow morning, what the hell would any of you like to read in a fairly liberal college newspaper? I'm currently thinking about writing about how no one on my campus gives a fuck about war, or anything not dealing with booze and fucking sorority chicks.

Please, I'm so desperate!

The parallels between George W. Bush and Chancellor Palpatine in "Attack of the Clones"

Why Republicans are Satanists Who Drink the Blood Of Thier Enemies.

I Like Pie, Here Is Why.