Invite Eulogy!

Greyhames
1. (1) Antonio Brown (Pit - WR)
2. (24) LeSean McCoy (Buf - RB)
3. (25) Russell Wilson (Sea - QB)
4. (48) DeMarco Murray (Ten - RB)
5. (49) Julian Edelman (NE - WR)
6. (72) Michael Crabtree (Oak - WR)
7. (73) Coby Fleener (NO - TE)
8. (96) DeSean Jackson (Was - WR)
9. (97) LeGarrette Blount (NE - RB)
10. (120) Torrey Smith (SF - WR)
11. (121) Jay Ajayi (Mia - RB)
12. (144) Houston (Hou - DEF)
13. (145) Dorial Green-Beckham (Phi - WR)
14. (168) Brock Osweiler (Hou - QB)
15. (169) Mason Crosby (GB - K)

FUPA Lords
1. (2) Odell Beckham Jr. (NYG - WR)
2. (23) Devonta Freeman (Atl - RB)
3. (26) Jordy Nelson (GB - WR)
4. (47) Greg Olsen (Car - TE)
5. (50) Jeremy Maclin (KC - WR)
6. (71) Giovani Bernard (Cin - RB)
7. (74) Emmanuel Sanders (Den - WR)
8. (95) Ameer Abdullah (Det - RB)
9. (98) Blake Bortles (Jax - QB)
10. (119) Isaiah Crowell (Cle - RB)
11. (122) Justin Forsett (Bal - RB)
12. (143) Derek Carr (Oak - QB)
13. (146) Jesse James (Pit - TE)
14. (167) Cairo Santos (KC - K)
15. (170) Pittsburgh (Pit - DEF)

The Proven Winners
1. (3) Julio Jones (Atl - WR)
2. (22) Aaron Rodgers (GB - QB)
3. (27) Matt Forte (NYJ - RB)
4. (46) Randall Cobb (GB - WR)
5. (51) Jeremy Langford (Chi - RB)
6. (70) Gary Barnidge (Cle - TE)
7. (75) Allen Hurns (Jax - WR)
8. (94) Duke Johnson Jr. (Cle - RB)
9. (99) Kirk Cousins (Was - QB)
10. (118) Willie Snead (NO - WR)
11. (123) Martellus Bennett (NE - TE)
12. (142) New York (NYJ - DEF)
13. (147) Steven Hauschka (Sea - K)
14. (166) Theo Riddick (Det - RB)
15. (171) Ted Ginn Jr. (Car - WR)

SAWFT
1. (4) DeAndre Hopkins (Hou - WR)
2. (21) Cam Newton (Car - QB)
3. (28) Doug Martin (TB - RB)
4. (45) Danny Woodhead (SD - RB)
5. (52) Doug Baldwin (Sea - WR)
6. (69) John Brown (Ari - WR)
7. (76) Zach Ertz (Phi - TE)
8. (93) Tajae Sharpe (Ten - WR)
9. (100) Kansas City (KC - DEF)
10. (117) Terrelle Pryor (Cle - WR)
11. (124) Terrance West (Bal - RB)
12. (141) Justin Tucker (Bal - K)
13. (148) Steve Smith Sr. (Bal - WR)
14. (165) Carson Wentz (Phi - QB)
15. (172) Jordan Howard (Chi - RB)

The People's Champ
1. (5) David Johnson (Ari - RB)
2. (20) Eddie Lacy (GB - RB)
3. (29) Amari Cooper (Oak - WR)
4. (44) Jarvis Landry (Mia - WR)
5. (53) Drew Brees (NO - QB)
6. (68) Arian Foster (Mia - RB)
7. (77) Frank Gore (Ind - RB)
8. (92) Sterling Shepard (NYG - WR)
9. (101) Stefon Diggs (Min - WR)
10. (116) Tyler Eifert (Cin - TE)
11. (125) New England (NE - DEF)
12. (140) Jared Cook (GB - TE)
13. (149) Christine Michael (Sea - RB)
14. (164) Chris Boswell (Pit - K)
15. (173) Will Fuller (Hou - WR)

Moronic Irrigations
1. (6) Todd Gurley (LA - RB)
2. (19) Brandin Cooks (NO - WR)
3. (30) Sammy Watkins (Buf - WR)
4. (43) Jeremy Hill (Cin - RB)
5. (54) Golden Tate (Det - WR)
6. (67) Travis Kelce (KC - TE)
7. (78) Eli Manning (NYG - QB)
8. (91) Arizona (Ari - DEF)
9. (102) Stephen Gostkowski (NE - K)
10. (115) Travis Benjamin (SD - WR)
11. (126) Corey Coleman (Cle - WR)
12. (139) Bilal Powell (NYJ - RB)
13. (150) Ryan Fitzpatrick (NYJ - QB)
14. (163) Virgil Green (Den - TE)
15. (174) Oakland (Oak - DEF)

Titties & Balls
1. (7) Lamar Miller (Hou - RB)
2. (18) Dez Bryant (Dal - WR)
3. (31) Alshon Jeffery (Chi - WR)
4. (42) Andrew Luck (Ind - QB)
5. (55) Melvin Gordon (SD - RB)
6. (66) Delanie Walker (Ten - TE)
7. (79) Vincent Jackson (TB - WR)
8. (90) Tyler Lockett (Sea - WR)
9. (103) DeAngelo Williams (Pit - RB)
10. (114) T.J. Yeldon (Jax - RB)
11. (127) Andy Dalton (Cin - QB)
12. (138) Spencer Ware (KC - RB)
13. (151) Zach Miller (Chi - TE)
14. (162) Los Angeles (LA - DEF)
15. (175) Dan Bailey (Dal - K)

HillaryBro
1. (8) Ezekiel Elliott (Dal - RB)
2. (17) Mark Ingram (NO - RB)
3. (32) C.J. Anderson (Den - RB)
4. (41) Jordan Reed (Was - TE)
5. (56) Jordan Matthews (Phi - WR)
6. (65) Marvin Jones Jr. (Det - WR)
7. (80) Philip Rivers (SD - QB)
8. (89) Carolina (Car - DEF)
9. (104) Graham Gano (Car - K)
10. (113) Tyrod Taylor (Buf - QB)
11. (128) Kamar Aiken (Bal - WR)
12. (137) Michael Thomas (NO - WR)
13. (152) Eric Ebron (Det - TE)
14. (161) James White (NE - RB)
15. (176) Buffalo (Buf - DEF)

Nutz in Cups
1. (9) A.J. Green (Cin - WR)
2. (16) Keenan Allen (SD - WR)
3. (33) Jamaal Charles (KC - RB)
4. (40) Latavius Murray (Oak - RB)
5. (57) Jonathan Stewart (Car - RB)
6. (64) Kelvin Benjamin (Car - WR)
7. (81) Tom Brady (NE - QB)
8. (88) Julius Thomas (Jax - TE)
9. (105) Derrick Henry (Ten - RB)
10. (112) Tavon Austin (LA - WR)
11. (129) Chris Hogan (NE - WR)
12. (136) Matt Ryan (Atl - QB)
13. (153) Minnesota (Min - DEF)
14. (160) Markus Wheaton (Pit - WR)
15. (177) Chandler Catanzaro (Ari - K)

BANNED FOR LIFE
1. (10) Rob Gronkowski (NE - TE)
2. (15) Le'Veon Bell (Pit - RB)
3. (34) T.Y. Hilton (Ind - WR)
4. (39) Eric Decker (NYJ - WR)
5. (58) Michael Floyd (Ari - WR)
6. (63) Carson Palmer (Ari - QB)
7. (82) Matt Jones (Was - RB)
8. (87) Seattle (Sea - DEF)
9. (106) Connor Barth (Chi - K)
10. (111) DeVante Parker (Mia - WR)
11. (130) Marcus Mariota (Ten - QB)
12. (135) Kevin White (Chi - WR)
13. (154) Jimmy Graham (Sea - TE)
14. (159) Mohamed Sanu (Atl - WR)
15. (178) Marshawn Lynch (Sea - RB)

Gordon's Glaucoma Rx
1. (11) Adrian Peterson (Min - RB)
2. (14) Mike Evans (TB - WR)
3. (35) Demaryius Thomas (Den - WR)
4. (38) Donte Moncrief (Ind - WR)
5. (59) Josh Gordon (Cle - WR)
6. (62) Ryan Mathews (Phi - RB)
7. (83) Rashad Jennings (NYG - RB)
8. (86) Jameis Winston (TB - QB)
9. (107) Charles Sims (TB - RB)
10. (110) Dwayne Allen (Ind - TE)
11. (131) Matthew Stafford (Det - QB)
12. (134) Phillip Dorsett (Ind - WR)
13. (155) Cincinnati (Cin - DEF)
14. (158) Rishard Matthews (Ten - WR)
15. (179) Adam Vinatieri (Ind - K)

Spungos
1. (12) Allen Robinson (Jax - WR)
2. (13) Brandon Marshall (NYJ - WR)
3. (36) Carlos Hyde (SF - RB)
4. (37) Thomas Rawls (Sea - RB)
5. (60) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit - QB)
6. (61) Larry Fitzgerald (Ari - WR)
7. (84) Antonio Gates (SD - TE)
8. (85) Denver (Den - DEF)
9. (108) Blair Walsh (Min - K)
10. (109) Chris Ivory (Jax - RB)
11. (132) Devin Funchess (Car - WR)
12. (133) Tevin Coleman (Atl - RB)
13. (156) Jason Witten (Dal - TE)
14. (157) Ryan Tannehill (Mia - QB)
15. (180) Philadelphia (Phi - DEF)

Marshawn Lynch. Fantastic.

And that's exactly what I did.

Nobody came to congratulate me and shower me with praise for so thoroughly beating you all?

Anyway go Steelers. We must destroy the Brady.