When I was in high school I had a desire to have sex on home plate of our baseball field. Senior year rolls around, then spring finals, and the prospect of not fulfilling this dream starts to sit in. I start scouting girls that I know- a lot of them are preppy Christians, most of them have boyfriends. I decide to propose my plan to this gothy girl that is a year behind me. Her eyes light up and to my surprise she is DTF. We work out the details of when we had free time and decide to meet on home plate the next day.

I show up early, she arrives shortly after. We start awkwardly making out, I put my hand down her pants and she says, "I'm a virgin." She reassures me that she really wants to go through with this- we continue to make out, but I just don't feel right taking her virginity as part of a big joke. I stop, tell her Im not OK with it, and she says, "well, can I still blow you?"

"Yup!" She pulls my pants down to my ankles and takes my dick in her mouth. I then call the greatest audible in the history of my sex life- third base! So we run down, my pants still around my ankles, and I proceed to receive to worst blowjob ever. This goes on for probably 15-20 minutes and I am incredibly bored. She has that 'I'm really trying to make this sexy' for you face. I then call the worst audible in the history of my sex life- fake it!

I moan, pretend like I'm cumming, and realize she has stopped. I look down and am greeted by a stare mixed with hatred, pain, and embarrassment. I kindly thank her for her service, pull up my pants, and Sprint back to my car.

The filthiest... there was this time I was out in the rain with someone and had mud all over my feet and legs. I had to walk back home with mud squishing in my shoes and it was really cold out.

thread has potential but so far is disappoint. I know you people aren't really this lame

that sounds pretty hot actually

until the walking home in the cold part

There's this one sex move I tried once. It's pretty advanced and requires a lot of deft and stamina (takes a long time), but I performed it when I was just a beginner.

It requirs three participants (MMF or MFF). Pretty much, you let the first guy go inside the woman, and after nine months, you push your head out through the woman's vagina.

If you like taking risks, you can try pushing yourself out feet-first. It makes the umbilical cord more likely to wrap around your neck, if you're into erotic asphyxiation.

So like at least 14 dex and 16 con.

once i was pretty broke so i went to cheap massage parlor in eastern Seoul. i got crabs from this one japanese whore.

another time i had my butthole eaten out at an expensive massage parlor in gangnam, seoul. that was a delightful surprise. things have never been the same since.

No, for being braindead.

not sure if you're joking or not (probably not) but i honestly don't get why people find asshole eating sexy. any anal sexual activity actually.

i could have done anal but the idea of it doesn't attract me at all. let alone licking somebody else's shit hole.

i guess i'm pretty standard i just had this porn fuck with a girl who was really into it and had me cum on her face and mouth and swallowed it. man that was so fucking hot

Nice! I was wondering when you'd get around to this thread.

Naw man naw ass lickin (givin/gettin) is right up there with the holiest of holies IMO. I mean it's not for every encounter. But in the context of a love relationship (and where you can be confident re partner's hygiene) man that's some nice feelins

Me too. I don't get the appeal of buttstuff. That's where poo comes from.

I am of course cognizant of the fact that everybody has different tastes, and I don't dispute the legitimacy of anybody liking it.

So what you're saying is you wants deets?

anal stuff weirds me out a bit but I had a girlfriend a long time ago who was into it, so I did it for her. one time we did mutual anal fingering in a hot tub while having sex and both came incredibly hard at the same time. but afterwards I felt pretty awkward about it. one time I "accidentally" had anal sex with her too. We were spooning in my bed trying to be quiet and I'm not really sure how it happened cause it definitely started out as vaginal. She whispered to me that I should come in her and I was like uh I can't, no condom, and she was like ....wtf it's not in that hole... I thought you knew? :erm:

My ex-wife always wanted me to cum on her face. I think she was a little broken, tbh.

Wow. How loose does that asshole have to be for you to get in there and not even notice?

I never had a threesome (and likely never will) but I did have a girl give me a blowjob at a party next to another girl who had passed out. Like, we were literally lying on the bed next to her.*

*We had all agreed to share the bed prior to her passing out, in case this sounds rapey to anyone.

I really feel like you guys are holding back. Surely more of you must have good stories.

one time my friend "Lara" bucked her hips while I was eating her out so hard she busted my lip wide open and I bled all over the place

Ass eating is quite alright on both ends.

Another time I had cocaine fueled sex that lasted hours. I was sore for like a week.

I'm honestly posting things as they come to me. Having sex with the same person for ten years, things tend to turn into a blurry mush. So I either have to remember things involving my ex-wife or the gals I slept with from 2005 and before.

I think I've told this story before, but I gave my first handjob at 15, to a stranger on a train. He was a couple of years older, and sat down next to me and started talking, which eventually led to him persuading me to feed him candy and let him do the same to me. Which eventually led to him undoing his pants and showing me how to jerk him off. It was dark in the carriage because it was a night train - I was travelling alone after staying with my friend and her gay uncle, who let us get plastered every night and had seen me off on the platform after letting me drink half a bottle of wine.

This guy on the train gave me pretty specific instructions which I have always been sort of grateful for. Like "go all the way up, and all the way down" and he'd tell me to go faster sometimes, and then slow down sometimes. Instruction was good, because I wouldn't have known, otherwise. it's not really an instinctive skill for teenage girls, I don't think.

At the end, when he came, he kept pulling at my shirt, and I didn't know what he was doing, but I wanted to keep very quiet so I just tried to go with it and he ended up pushing my shirt up and ejaculating on my breasts and bra. It wasn't long after that, he had to get off the train early. Because he was travelling with his troublemaker brother who had been arrested at one of the stations we were passing through, for climbing up on top of the train and smoking a cigarette.

At that point, it all felt like a big mistake. But. Too late.

Sounds like a real gentleman.

you're right some people apparently like to TASTE SHIT more than others

alt. version: well yes, assholes are an acquired taste

how do you feel about that story now, vix?
i don't want to offer unsolicited comforting but dude sounds like a creepy asshole. sorry you went through that.

Re tasting shit...

C'mon man you're not gonna taste any shit unless there's actual shit on there. We're not talking goin at it moments after someone's dropped a deuce.

Naw son you gotta get in the shower, get a buncha shampoo and plunge a couple fingers in your bum and clean it out proper.

It's just another erogenous zone there's no question. Not saying you have to give it a try, but if the only hangup is "tasting shit" i feel like u could be missing out, cause that's just not the case

shit tastes like shit
but it happens

see this is what i like to see. sexy opium dens, strap-ons, and dps, ILP, you have been sorely missed!

let me clarify: i had MY butthole eaten out. it felt fucking amazing.

later on i tried to reciprocate, but since it was another whore, she probably just got confused. i doubt many prostitutes get their assholes eaten out but hey, i'm a nice guy! a good person.

LOL