Vixnix would know about substantial discussion because she is so often the centre of it

It's quite strange how, whenever a thread somehow leads to conflict between two specific users, several others will very often run in and square off against each other in a series of undercard bouts. I wonder if there is a word for this phenomenon.

I'd like to expound on this. What i mean is that trots has often been the contrarian and on first blush sometimes I've even disagreed but then he'll expound on it for four posts in a row after he's challenged and I'll find myself coming around to being able to see what he's talking about.

Yeah that's why I'm at this point.

You did try. You got therapy, you got meds, you pushed yourself out of it. Nobody else can do it. I hate bootstraps in an economic sense because RACISM completely invalidates this idiocy about how anyone who really applies themselves and TAKES PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY JESUS CHRIST will find success. but seriously, in an IT sense, you have to bootstrap your way to psychological help.

I dunno how people conflated this with eating bananas, but i was saying that you need therapy & meds first and the rest helps. I'm not saying bolly's not getting exercise or eating apples, i'm saying he's on here complaining about how NINETY NINE PERCENT of what EVERYONE does is ANNOYING. I see so much of myself in that, and that's negative anti-social attitude and it REALLY does NOTHING to make you feel any better at all. For one its ridiculous and if you really thought that you might be a sociopath and for two it drives people away and makes you more miserable.

oh come on.

for me i think it was that i could feel better about being alone because i was a miserable misanthrope because at least i was hanging out with other miserable misanthropes who could totally jive with how annoying everything everyone does. for me, it was primarily a crutch and I look around at this sad old bar and i see a lot of people doing the same thing. (But I can't point it out, it makes me a hypocrite!!!)

i only went back to therapy like a year ago

skipping school, masturbating 3-4 times a day, not getting therapy, not taking meds, blaming others, spiting others, abusing people on netphoria, avoiding responsibility, acting like i'm entitled to feeling the way i do and etc etc. none of that is trying or the best that i could. it's called a rut, it's not good. about fifteen years of that, it's not trying, it's giving up, it's settling in, it's making excuses. now that my attitude is changing and i honest to god might be growing up and doing the right thing, practically the whole board is calling me unstable. it really goes to show how fucking skewed the values are here.

and one more time i didn't ever tell him to kill himself. that's one of the grossest examples of how this board reads what it wants to read. i DID however tell eulogy to kill himself so you could see how dramatically different the two sentences were, if anyone was confused.

also did i mention that i had a really bad relationship with a really awful person on the internet? I apparently mention that in every post and thread.

I didn't read this thread closely enough to see the 99% thing...

I understand what you're getting at with being in a rut, but honestly maybe I've been away from the board more but I don't see anyone doing that really. I see that some people are depressed and perhaps getting more so, but that's not the same thing. Some people, like Shallowed, only recently started feeling depressed in the first place (if I'm speaking of the right person). I don't know their med or therapy situations but I believe they are both doing one or both of these. I'm too tired to go back but I thought you said something about going to therapy and taking meds is just hoping for something to change and not really doing anything. So here you're saying it is doing something, so I'm not sure what the point was.

Honestly trots, when you do get down to it you make reasonable posts, but it takes like an entire night for you to get around to actually saying what you meant to say. We can't read your mind, you know what I mean? And I know you felt provoked but I really think going after my experience in therapy was messed up and only intended to hurt me or to get me to question my treatment which is constantly and quite obviously helping me.

I can understand where you're coming from with coming here as a misanthrope to find other people that were the same way, but I think projecting your experience as universal among boarders isn't necessarily accurate. But maybe I'm wrong. I am not a misanthrope and I don't see the board as terribly misanthropic. We get threads like this sometimes but I think we have an average level of misanthropy and apathy.

"Either try or kill yourself" "kill yourself"

Is that the nuance you're referring to, D?

for what its worth, i wish i could be like a proper friend.to.you.trots..i cant help myself right now so its not like i can help anyone else other than say, ill be here through your rough spots even if i dunno how to be aupportive if it hurts to see. i feel like i'm in a similar situation sort of where it feels like a lot of people just stand and watch me have meltdowns. there's nothing anyone can do :/ im not much of a bro dude but you know i dream daily of taco adventures with you and happiness where our miserable lives slide away and we just smoke mad weed and destroy our digestive systems with mexican delights.

i love how you're the guy always complaining about people reading what they want to read

Oh right. It was "shut the fuck up and find peace or kill yourself."

My bad

i thought i was pissing you of of late so this is really nice to read. i wish i could be a proper friend to you also. i think depressed people need friends who don't give up on them.

did i tell you this white trash girl ripped my soul out and taught me valuable lessons about how far people will go to validate their self esteem?

in response to NINETY NINE PERCENT OF EVERYTHING EVERYONE DOES ANNOYS ME ALL THE TIME

whatever you win prince eulogy here's your little winner crown for you

as you can see you really have convinced the board that i'm horrible and you were right the whole time and it's not that you're horrible and here for some reason with people you wouldn't even speak to in real life

I like literally everyone who is not you.

I met my fucking fiancé here I'm ovviously not above this place.

Still not seeing the nuance.

your imaginary boyfriend?

oh wait, internet boyfriend. something, right? did i bring it up again

SJ probably thinks I dislike him but I dont. I'd love to sit down and have an espresso with him and talk about shit if it were feasible and he wanted to.

You're literally the only person I can't stand. I sympathize with you about your illness and sincerely hope you get better. But you don't need to attack others here to get there.

sympathy is patronizing

I'm not shallowed, man. I gave you advice I thought was good and have not said a goddamn word about it since.

I disagree. If you think it is I understand but that was never my intent.

were you drunk when you referred to her as my "imaginary girlfriend"?

wasn't that what provoked me into saying i wanted you to die of cancer? i think it was...because it was already one of the most horrible experiences i've had with another person and you said that EXACTLY about the same time it was getting really rocky so i practically had a rageurysm at that

it was real as shit, real awful

no, not pissing me off, ive been weirdly sensitive to shit and attribute a lot of it to me coming off my anti deoressants cold turkey after being on em 5 years. im frustrated with myself :( i will feel frustrated with just online interaction period. i think everyone needs a friend that wont give up on em too, through their worst. because if i didnt have that i'd be friendless and i rarely see people stick around and suck up the ego shit. havent called for 10 years? thats fine lets get a taco and live right now. i get guilted by people a lot when i withdraw. the last thing i want to deal with when re-emerging from it is guilt. i have few friends who understand that and i appreciate it more than i can ever relate.

i hate learning those lessons. fuck lessons, i am done learning em!

and you contributed heavily to what this place currently is - took you less than a week after Luke's passing to start your IDGAF YOU STUPIF FUCKUP so delightful "not depressed" flood of posts, jumping on people left and right for absolute NO FUCKING REASON.

Goodbye, Trots, hope you get bent, too.

I'm just going to steer this thread back to what it was supposed to be

i almost engaged with trots again and started to prove him wrong on all the shit he's spouted since i last posted, but i seriously am above it.

whoever here knows me, knows i'm not misogynist, or MRA, or that i think "palestinians had it coming" (this is my fav because it literally came out of nowhere and absolutely proved my point about him making stuff up in his own twisted mind).

whoever wants to dislike me because of that can get fucked.

you're a huge, huge baby, trots. i don't know how you can sit there and pretend like you "got out of it" and how you're in some other place when you're really just the same old spiteful, disruptive, poisonous bully.

OMG KITS AND BUNS!!!!!