a small poem (please hate it)
 

osiris

i died a little,
slept so deep
that i slept while awake.
slowly
i rose in time for winter;
a rose for my lover,
but she's long gone,
and that's fine with me:
i kicked the habit
of aching obsession,
but i did die a little.
i did come apart.

is this about winnie the pooh coming out of hibernation and trying not to stick his hand in the honey pot?

fuckin hate it

I thought I'd list another small poem so we can contrast yours with it.

Surprised by Joy
BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind
I turned to share the transport—Oh! with whom
But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind—
But how could I forget thee?—Through what power,
Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss!—That thought’s return
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
Knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.

Well that's a fair comparison...

Having said that, I was never really a Wordsworth fan.

Me neither - I didn't actually remember that he was the author. I just remembered that it was a sonnet and sonnets are short.

Have you ever tried writing in sonnet form?

This guy reminds me of the people on the Oboard who thought they were being all avant-garde by writing incomprehensibly using [these] instead of (these)

They would write really lame group poetry in the art section of the board

Only back in school. I did actually have quite a flair for poetry in my late teens and could write pretty good rhyming ones and play about with the form. Now it's a real struggle, so I just write them however I can, not caring too much about technique. I don't normally write them in all lowercase (because it can seem pretentious) but it felt right for this little doodle.

Anyway, someone said the word "cool" doesn't fit the mood, and I agree with that.

In fact, I'll edit that one word. Thanks, pavementtune.

What did you hope to accomplish here?

What does anyone try to accomplish here? Maybe some feedback.

I was a bit preemptively negative with "please hate it" (I'd remove those words from the title if I could) but then this place is pretty unforgiving at times . But pavementtune liked my poem, so I've accomplished enough.

this is not bad

I don't follow poetry very closely any longer but one of my favorite writers came out with a new book last month. Thing Music by Anthony McCann.

Poetry is for fags.

I mean if nobody pointed it out yet.

Like I used to write poetry but then i realized i wasn't a homo and stopped.

Is writing lyrics gay as well? Or is it that if you make a tune for your words it all becomes heterosexual?

yeah.

Well if your riff has enough balls to it anyway. Like some power chord with heavy distortion. then it's not gay. Cause if you're playing like piano or some shit it just amps up the queer factor.

Or if you look like a queer while doing it like freddy mercury. I mean some of these riff had balls man but then he was all like "please put some dick in my mouth" with his moves. Pretty sure that guy was gay and his meaning of "rocking you" was not what people at hockey games think it is. Also we are the champions is about how he and his buds were no1 at sucking dick. Just look it up.

Oh, you were feigning homophobia for some sort of effect? Gotcha.

had to stop before he became legally gay.

No chance of that happening. I've always been and always will be straight as fuck. Like even as a kid my favorite action figures were Masters of the Universe and G.I Joe which are about the most manly and non homoerotic figures ever created. I know because they had bulging muscles and moustaches. Ok so Prince Adam might have been wearing pink but as he-man he punched people in the face all the time which is like the no1 favorite pastime of straight guys. The only reason he wasn't all up in Teela's shit was because she was the daughter of his best bud and as for She-Ra, she was his sister which if you ask me he must have felt was a real shame. To be fair though it's likely She-Ra was a dyke because she also punched guys in the face.

Here's a good vid of Prince Adam not being gay:

poetry is awesome in the right context

Poetry is pretty awesome

poetry is like fine art; everyone says they like it but in reality they know jack shit about it

I don't know a lot about it, but I do enjoy it and have spent a lot of time reading it

pretty much though more and more i came to the realisation i don't ,by and large, really care for most of it. and don't read it.

I was into it as a teen a lot. I was like oh wow verlaine and shit and Rimbaud. And then i was like, wow what a bunch of fags. Literally though in their case.

All the girls on tinder are too pretty for me

SYLVIA PLATH IS MY FUCKING RELIGION

I'm thinking of naming my band "Plath"

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (opening stanzas) - T.S. Eliot

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.