ATTN netphoria
 

You know im a real bully on the boards

I just wanted to let you know i pissed all over myself during a kareoke party

Im an idiot. That is all

Did you at least sing R Kelly?

no, there is a light that will never go out

i went to the bathroom to take a leak and after i was done i realized i was so drunk i didn't exactly take the penis out of my jeans and i had pissed all the way down the right leg

i went back to the kareoke room because it was dark, settled my tab and got the hell out of there

i'm not sure if it smelled but i took some hearty wiffs to make sure while i was trying to clean it up in the toilet stall

jesus you guys i'm a mess but in this culture it's like i'm expected to be

took my pants off for the ride home

went to the drive thru in my boxers

oh dear

#REALTALK

OH THE BEST PART IS THAT I DROVE LIKE 50 MILES AFTER THIS

#AUSTIN

#KEEPINITWEIRD

That's a good song tho

Did you kill it? Can you sing?

no i can't sing and of course i killed it

i'm like "i have to get in character"



of course after this, i promptly pissed all over myself but at least the woman i thought was super cute already left

Don't drink and drive, man, that's just not cool

i bet the cute girl tells people alternative medicine works, or maybe she likes to make snap judgments based on graphs she saw on facebook

i've never done nothin man, never hurt nobody i 'm justt ryink to kick it

hahaha!
is this true?
it's a great story.

i know it reallky is but i can't tell it to anyone in person for at least five years

You drove when you were drunk? That drunk?

He and like 10 million other americans last night.

I once did this at Universal after having multiple $10 drinks. I admitted it to anyone who was willing to listen. I then went on to hit on a girl the rest of the night in front of her boyfriend. Yes, I'm gay.

This is fucking amazing.

D-did you get head?

That's hilarious.

I'd like to think that you pissed your pants with as much dignity as you do when you retell the story to us. That was probably not the case though, right?

One of my friends got so drunk he stripped himself naked and pissed all over himself in a bathroom in bar in Germany. So we all have to step up our games is what I'm saying.

Still better than a 711 shit doe.

Do you guys have a go-to karaoke song?

A few weeks ago I sang Transmission by Joy Division. A whole bunch of people who were hanging in the smoking area came inside to dance, and then went back once the song was finished. A few songs later someone put Transmission on again and gave me the mic and pushed me on stage and everyone came back and was like "DO THE DANCE!" so I did the crazy dead fly dance.

Felt awesome and I killed it both times.

Anything but fucking goddamn Journey imo.

My fav is obviously "Africa."

I peed on a school bus once. Too long of a story.

Don't drive drunk.

Did you go into a bottle?

Nope. All over the floor. I had been drinking all day so it was basically water and no one else was in the back of the bus. So. Shrug.

By that time I had lost my phone, gotten a ticket for minor in possession (I was 20) and dropped a friends phone down the sewer (it was retrieved). Not one of my proudest days, but fuck it I had fun.

Fucking up your body is fun

At that age your body is pretty much immune to poison

i peed all over my friend's guest room a few weeks ago. allegedly. have no memory of it... but i paid for the dry cleaning

it was one of those through the looking glass moments vis a vis alcoholism

Sounds rough, but at least not dangerous. Was this a Notre Dame frat bus?

Gettin too old for this shit. :( When I turned 25, years of abuse caught up to me and my liver and stomach gave up.

Lol no. It was St. Louis mardi gras. Which might sound funny but it's the second largest celebration in the country. Shit gets wild! ...I lost my phone before it got wild though :(

hast du etwas zeit fur mich
dann singe ich ein lied fur dich
von 99 luftballons
auf ihrem weg zum horizont

MICKEY MOUSE HAS GROWN UP A COW

That was probably a good thing... Kept you out of drunk texting/calling trouble.

Harassing exs is just so hard to resist.

one time i was driving home from a bar... i wasnt drunk, but i had broken the seal and had to piss bad. i got to my apartment complex but couldnt make it and i pissed in my pants in the elevator. terrible.

DAVES ON SALE AGAIN

Never pissed myself. Pissed on the side of a church though.