Help needed: my 600lb life pennys story.
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ4QfGEpVWc

Basically I have to see this programme. We are getting a few people round with some beers, junk food etc, then we are going to watch it, follow it up with the opie and anthony show about it, and have a good old laugh before heading to the pub. The only problem is I can't access it due to being in the uk, even tried proxys etc, it's not having it.

I was hoping one of our US cousins could grab the HD version off youtube and upload it somewhere I can access. This would make my day and provide an evening of entertainment.

Cheers guys!

but the UK shows supersize vs superskinny!!

Or at least all the people they follow have British accents...

That's good thinspo.

I know it

I've watched so much of it that youtube recommends it to me still, many months later

Have you watched "Thin"? Its a HBO documentary that was filmed in an ED clinic. Its supposed to scare people by showing how unhealthy the inmates are. I know people that watch it for inspiration though.

Its like telling kids that drugs are bad. It doesn't work.

Yeah, that one with the teenager with the pigtails and the crazy smoker? ED clinics are a weird world but that was mostly boring. They should film the people outside the clinics before they're admitted for some truth.

the problem with clinics is that if you're smart enough you can just lie to them and you'll get out. plus it's like prison, you learn from all the inmates how to be a better criminal. If you don't want to "recover" you can't be forced to do it. Even if you're taking meds.

I don't even think I believe anyone "recovers" until their brain chills out, willpower aside. They can perhaps control behaviors but the illness will rage on in their heads, and that isn't recovery. Things just have to snap back into place for a while on their own. Clinics don't make a difference in that, or therapy. There's not really a medication for OCD or misery, either. Clinics are dumb. Most people I know that sought treatment have had to go to more than one and still relapse when their brain begins the cycle.

I'm supposedly "recovered" now but without my meds and a therapist I'd eventually relapse. I think some people get caught up in and can get themselves out. But for others the ocd shit and the anxiety never goes away.

yes there are

therapy helps if you want to get help

you obviously don't.

it's always interesting how people who abuse recreational drugs often think prescription psychological drugs are a scam or don't work

People do "recover', depending on your definition.

SSRIs are used for OCD. Specifically Luvox.

Therapy can help most things, assuming you have the right therapist and the right mindset or the ability to hang onto life while you get these things. There are some disorders therapy will not help but they tend to be things people don't "want" help for (like most personality disorders)...

I have never had anorexia or a clinically significant eating disorder but you sound like you are saying it will just get better if it gets better in time, and there is nothing else you can do. That is false.

I personally found that my behaviors stayed counterproductive while my brain got better until my behaviors started getting better, too. But this is with depression/ptsd.

That's the thing, therapy and medication can control your behaviors, and the illness in your head (trauma, or depression, or whatever) is what actually needs to be worked on in therapy long term. For many people. And you can do therapy while your symptoms are still there as long as you're not in like full fledged life devoted to your disordered behaviors. And even maybe that in some cases. I was addicted to drugs but the times I was in the ptsd hospital I still learned a lot, even if I came back out to do drugs again over and over until I eventually stopped.

Basically my point is people can and do get better and making some blanket statement like "therapy doesn't work" is part of the entire syndrome of being generally mentally ill.

Can anyone rip this off youtube for me then? In HD preferably. As I said, it's blocked in the UK

Cheers

What the hell is wrong with you

Scotty was the only one that got my point...probably because he's been there. You can look recovered from the outside and gain weight and manage not to throw up or over-exercise, but inside the disorder can be as strong as ever and to some extent doesn't seem to be something that can go away. At least for some people it seems that full recovery just isn't possible while their brain is running in vicious loops. Technically I'd be "recovered" too, but that term is meaningless since I am still plagued with counting calories, body image issues, pre-planning meals, etc. It's just not something anyone can see and it's not something anyone else can stop in a therapy environment. I've tried SSRIs many a time and personally they do not lessen the clusterfuck of negativity in my head, but they do keep me up at night and make sex horrible. Those medications work better to treat depression, which can come from having OCD. I don't really suffer from depression though, more like anxiety. There's no OCD pill specifically, and even if there was, there is no guarantee that it will work all the time. I don't think everyone can recover, in the true sense of the word.

And that's bullshit to say I haven't wanted to or tried. I've been to therapy about it 5 different times in the last 16 years, and while I always eventually start eating again and can marginally cope with maintaining a better weight, I'm never far from relapse if the right triggers happen. The illness pattern is always there.

what is the longest amount of time you've stayed in therapy? was it forced or did you decide things needed to change?

it makes difference in your willingness to invest yourself and how determined you are to practice modifying behaviors and recognizing and dealing healthily with negative thoughts instead of saying it's something you can't help or stop. you're not a special unique butterfly for whom recover is not possible. you're just like anyone else who is in denial and justifies their actions or inaction.

it's not easy to believe you have any wish to change (not that you said that, but instead just made a lot of tired excuses) when you act so proud of your not eating and follow up stories about it with :D

SSRIs help me. Nobody can see right now that i have any kind of problem. I gained 35 lbs this year. I dont look too thin. I'm not binge eating or resteicring. And my ocd cal counting and constantly weihhing myself is under control. Since fucking up my back i can no longer engage in the pattern of exercise bulimia like I used to. Right now things are almost normal. But if I go off meds I'll eventually relapse. It might not be right away. But at some point I'll experience more stress and anxiety than I can handle and I'll try to get my control back. Earlier this year I went 6 wks without seeing my therapist and by the end of that month and a half I had to have my dosage increased.

I've been like this since the 80s. I'm always going to be like this. I think the trem recovery assumes some type of cure or something. I'm not recovered I'm just coping. I guess that's good enough.

When I was immersed in it I definitely did thrive on it, but at the same time wanted out because I wasn't really living life anymore. It became my identity so I put a sick positive spin on it, making it seem like I had more control over it than I did. I was forced into therapy twice and chose to go three times, sincerely believing there was something someone could do or say to help change the thoughts up a little bit but nothing clicked...I don't find trying to ride feelings out without acting to be helpful when the feelings never stop. That doesn't lessen any illness at all.

then it's a good thing you got out of the bad environment that made you feel vulnerable. this identity is much better. you're really living life. drugs, woo.

We'll have our moment one day

Its not denial if you're not actually denying anything.

If I didn't have people who relied on me and that I was responsible for I'd probably make myself relapse. I like my disorder. It just gets in the way of holding a job and living and shit like that.

I've never been able to make myself relapse, it just kind of happens before I fully realized how disordered I'm becoming...usually in the process of losing weight but I totally lost it after I graduated college, too. I've been able to mimic anorexic behaviors but never could really get into that mindset by wanting to.

Well this has been riveting reading about all your personal struggles, it really has. But none of you have addressed the purpose of this thread which was for someone in the US to rip this TV show from youtube and share it. I'm not even sure why I thought anyone would from here to begin with.

it looks like you have to pay to watch. so it's more complicated than just ripping a youtube video.

Ok cheers for letting me know

also seems to be available on amazon.com (instant video). but i'm not sure how that works. might not be a download. if it is a download, maybe someone in the US could buy it for you, as i'm sure this will, too, be limited to the US.
http://www.amazon.com/Pennys-Story/dp/B00HZ2WML6

or maybe you can find it on a torrent somewhere?

I haven't found it as a torrent yet and I tried to buy it but you are right it didn't let me.

I can wait, I'm sure this freak show will be available at some point haha.

them americans ain't buying no episodes off amazon for no one! it's in their constitution, man.

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