i smoked heroin for the first time today
 

not really

whats up. how was your day

oh so far pretty boring. squeezing my nuts in anticipation of playing more Diablo 3

D3 sounds good about now. fuck the laundromat

don't wash your jeans or your hair. it's a new thing

alright i'll try it out

I also didn't do heroin today

What you kids are too good for a little h?

its like we're brothers

srsly though h is on my bucket list

i think i'm TheSeer or some bullshit like that on battle.net

Boring till I drank a couple of beers, now I'm worried because my baby got fever =/

i was gonna say, you've been smoking heroin for a while now

eating some potato leek soup.

you're probably thinking about meth

not seeing theseer trots. my username is the same as my steam name.. which i won't type out here because its my full name

d

Its been a horrible day. i barely slept last night because stress. Got up early for the medical checkup for this medical trial that starts in 3 days. Had horrible intestinal pain before during and after (anxiety related because i basically got anxiety attack from not sleeping because it makes me unable to manage stress when tired) until i got back and ate some (cause the blood and urine tests have to be done fasting). On and off now. Tried to sleep, didn't, feel completely like shit. hope i recover before the trial proper.

you know what's great for anxiety? heroin

i have to check it when i get home, could just be my email address i have no idea

i started a monk also but i really want to pew pew like i always do

My drawing class was fun even if I didn't draw well today. Our teacher is a very passionate person and he talked about the importance of mythology and the role of the artist in society and it was interesting. I have to make a drawing depicting Aphrodite and Hephaestus for my final.
People keep telling me that they perceive me as being this deeply calm person and it's really funny and kinda scary.

TheSeer#1648

AS IN THE PEACE OF WESTPHALIA

Can anyone get me some heroin?

I was gonna ask the same thing. what's the new silk road?

It's called s1lk r0ad now

I entered my office at 7am today and was greeted by angry shouts and curses. ALL 4500+ Active Directory users in my two domains were automatically disabled overnight. No-one knows why, no-one knows what to do.
Right now we're updating each group policy profile manually.

Someone fucking kill me already...

blame it on Brazil, those sorry sad sacks of meat.

It looks like this day will suck too. 4am and despite last night's no sleep i still can't sleep. I lie down and all these ideas of despair and wosrst case scenarios start crossing my mind, and my stomach just knots and then shit starts repeating in my head over and over like a song or a sentence and then 2 hours have gone by and im still lying there exhausted but not sleeping. I'm fucking losing it.

u r not a lone #itgetsbetter

go to sleep.

Not it doesn't get better. You just get older and it gets worse.

I can't go to sleep. I'm tired of all this shit. All of it. this brain needs to be rewired. It's fucking useless. It likes to think it fucking knows best but its not getting me anywhere, never has, never will. And it needs to shut the fuck up right now. Obviously not knowing when to shut up is its number 1 issue in fact.

i got a little bitta the insomnia too and i'm passing the time reading comments on allen west's facebook page.

not sure what i was expecting, but this is an exceptionally stupid and crazy corner of the internet i've stumbled onto.

you need sleep.

You should look into some cognitive therapy. You can get the same books that Therapists use ordered into your local library and you can practice the help techniques taught in the books at your own accord.

You should try it man. Sounds like you don't have much to lose and everything to gain:billy:

And no offense, but you don't exactly seem to be the perfect picture of mental health... It probably isn't in your best interest to be taking all of these new trial drugs all of the time, a lot of those have the potential to fuck with your head and mindset.

It's probably something you don't need at this point in your journey, judging by the way you say you've been feeling.

its been brought up before. and you're right. I need to stop doing this. I cant even do this any more. It really didn't use to be a problem but now just that is too much for me to bear on a stress level. The only thing i can bear any more is sitting alone at home doing jackshit. I need some financial help though to stop doing the trials.

I'm basically not sleeping because i'm freaking out about not being physically capable of doing the trial in 3 days (vital signs are taken and if your heart rate or pressure aren't good enough you're out). So basically...im scared of not getting the money which in turn is gonna cause me to not get the money...... I know if rigth now i decided not to do the trial i would sleep. Except ill have no cash to pay my bills. So it's not an option. I'm fucking fit for the psych ward big fucking time.

Ive tried to go to sleep three times already. Gave up after an hour each time, last time screaming at my nervous system to shut up which freaked my cats out. This is exactly the way it starts then next thing you know you haven't slept in three days and you're ready to kill yourself. Another side effect is you're writing all this wall of text crap on a forum of people who hate you because you've practically begged them to so you're kinda not too fucking sure why you're even telling them this. This is really what i would call the bottom of the fucking barrel. Its terrifically twistedly fucking genius.

yeah, but what about your journey? YOUR JOURNEY, MAN, WHAT ABOUT IT?!? THIS POINT IN YOUR JOURNEY!

I'm so wet right now.

Yeah I'm pretty wet too :-*

Really though I'm at work and it sucks. I've been smoking an incredible amount of marijuana lately and it's really starting to affect me.

Heroin sucks

I finally got so,e good MDMA last weekend and boy howdy it was a damn swell time
Rolling like crazy
Major eye twitches like I've never had before
So much damn love
PLUR
Gonna have to figure out these new dark web markets to do it again in a couple months