you need sleep.

You should look into some cognitive therapy. You can get the same books that Therapists use ordered into your local library and you can practice the help techniques taught in the books at your own accord.

You should try it man. Sounds like you don't have much to lose and everything to gain:billy:

And no offense, but you don't exactly seem to be the perfect picture of mental health... It probably isn't in your best interest to be taking all of these new trial drugs all of the time, a lot of those have the potential to fuck with your head and mindset.

It's probably something you don't need at this point in your journey, judging by the way you say you've been feeling.

its been brought up before. and you're right. I need to stop doing this. I cant even do this any more. It really didn't use to be a problem but now just that is too much for me to bear on a stress level. The only thing i can bear any more is sitting alone at home doing jackshit. I need some financial help though to stop doing the trials.

I'm basically not sleeping because i'm freaking out about not being physically capable of doing the trial in 3 days (vital signs are taken and if your heart rate or pressure aren't good enough you're out). So basically...im scared of not getting the money which in turn is gonna cause me to not get the money...... I know if rigth now i decided not to do the trial i would sleep. Except ill have no cash to pay my bills. So it's not an option. I'm fucking fit for the psych ward big fucking time.

Ive tried to go to sleep three times already. Gave up after an hour each time, last time screaming at my nervous system to shut up which freaked my cats out. This is exactly the way it starts then next thing you know you haven't slept in three days and you're ready to kill yourself. Another side effect is you're writing all this wall of text crap on a forum of people who hate you because you've practically begged them to so you're kinda not too fucking sure why you're even telling them this. This is really what i would call the bottom of the fucking barrel. Its terrifically twistedly fucking genius.

yeah, but what about your journey? YOUR JOURNEY, MAN, WHAT ABOUT IT?!? THIS POINT IN YOUR JOURNEY!

I'm so wet right now.

Yeah I'm pretty wet too :-*

Really though I'm at work and it sucks. I've been smoking an incredible amount of marijuana lately and it's really starting to affect me.

Heroin sucks

I finally got so,e good MDMA last weekend and boy howdy it was a damn swell time
Rolling like crazy
Major eye twitches like I've never had before
So much damn love
PLUR
Gonna have to figure out these new dark web markets to do it again in a couple months

i want a report

did you smoke horse or shoot or snort it? its been a long time since I did it but I remember it pretty clearly how I felt. Puking my guts out (ramen noodle barf) and then going to sleep on a hardwood floor and waking up to a lady friend blowing me.

I love the molly. I did tons of it in Portland. It had never been so plentiful and available in all my years of drugging around the planet. I wanna roll with you. I think that would be fun happy times. the rolling eye twitch where it feels like you're orgasming is the best. slathered in Vicks vapo rub and smoking menthols.

i snorted it because i'm scared of shooting and i'm too fat to find a vein anyway

i want to go to vegas with noyen all hunter s. style

huffing ether out of an american flag

should do this soon because my health is in decline and i may only have one or two of those types of benders left in me. that would be fun as hell though. with sickbadthing and elvez. i dont know how people avoid jail there. was there for a bachelor party with 12 dudes and i don't know how any of us lived let alone not end up in some horrible horrible situation.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...7606728&type=1

pick a reply at random

Can someone please change my title to Abraham Drinkin.

this one is nice

Allen West.... A fake american hero. Who in their right fucking mind would want to elect this lunatic moron for president? Why? Answer me why before you start to judge? Do you know this guy? Do you know his background? He tortured an innocent man while he was deployed. He was given an article 32 and instead he received an article 15 and was kicked out the army. Does this sound like a good guy for president? If he was given the article 32, he would have been behind bars for 11 years. Im not making this up. This guy was all over the news in 2003 and 2004. He then ran for office in Florida. How did that go? Why was he forced to leave office in Florida? Why does he bash and hate on muslims? Because, he a racist guy who was kicked out the army because he tortured an innocent muslim and then he pulled his side arm... a 9mm handgun and shot a couple rounds next to the innocent iraqi man. Why? Because he thought he heard rumor or voices in his head that the iraqi guy was trying to kill him... the iraqi man was an Iraqi police. He's innocent and yet this fucking pathetic so called human tortured an innocent man. If it was anyone else who did a crime like this, we would be in prison, but because of his military service he got out of it. Him along with 4 other people. I can happily say this. .. fuck Allen West.

fuck allen west indeed

dat flat top

went to return a (brand new) kanye west vinyl that was defective only to have its replacement have the same problems.:mad:

other than that, had a long long talk with my mom and my brother as kind of a mediator about their random problems with each other.

brother showed me some guitar sounds, good for noise shit.

about to go see bear hands at a venue here. i had bought an unlimited concert pass last month that is good for any show for one year at these two venues in kcmo, even if they're sold out. so....

also i've been stressing myself, kind of the back-of-your-mind stressed, about the kid's tuition this fall and how my savings have dwindled to nothing so i've hardly eaten anything the last three days because that's what i do sometimes.

egg whites and water mostly but then i had two little homeade burritos last night for dinner. nothing else. :\

it's the sign of the times, comrade. the 1% gets the largest pay increase they've ever gotten and the american middle class blames immigrants and unions for their misfortune

where is our goddamn pay raise

i eat less when stressed which is good financially but is probably horrible for my health

I'm so lame that the only thing that really stops me from doing more drugs is that Im too lame to know how to get anything but weed.

There's a disconnect between the type of lifestyle I believe in and the lifestyle I actually live which depresses me.

i dunno, not doing smack is kind of a basic lifestyle decision that you want to make.

now cocaine is fun and worth the experience but it's also super dangerous, no joke. it annoys me when people are like OMG I NEVER SMOEKD WEDS bcuz i wold get addictit 2 theam BUT with COCAINIA the comedown feuls more consumption and it is addictive on its own

Yeah smack is whack, but idk, Ive always wanted to drop acid.

Speed was Mark E. Smith's drug of choice. I'd like to try that too.
Im probably being stupid, idk anything about heavy drugs really, but I read somewhere that the number reason people tend to do drugs is simple boredom and too much leisure time.

And I was totally sober up until I was 19 and I about killed myself, so total sobriety for sure isn't healthy.

Wat?