Is introversion an excuse for being standoffish?
 

You can be standoffish without being introverted. But is it more understandable if you are introverted?

8===D~~~

#kimanishorterdickcheese

Introversion and extroversion is purely to do with how much of your energy gets used up by social interaction vs being alone. You can be a shy extrovert or an outgoing introvert.

So are you referring to a shy introvert or an outgoing introvert?

Is being a shy extrovert an "excuse" for being standoffish?

yes

they're only saying they're introverts to spare your feelings, kimono

what shallowed said

i mean i guess it depends what you mean by standoffish. i'm an introvert, but i interact with people when necessary. i say hello. i enjoy people. it just takes all of my energy to interact with them and i hit a wall pretty quickly where i just can't keep up with what's going on.

so basically if you mean is being introverted a good reason to not interact in a pro-social way, no. it's not an excuse for being an asshole.

fap fap fap

and why you think i give a fuck about you not giving a fuck about your fb friend running. hmm.


http://i.imgur.com/0QpiKCi.gif

fap fap fap

the term introversion is just a euphemism for lacking social skills

yeah no

it's really not at all

yeah, more introverts lack social skills than extroverts. but not seeking social gatherings out in the first place is not necessarily due to lack of social skills. social interaction just takes a lot out of the introvert. i don't necessarily not want to be around people, i just need a lot of time alone. i can pass as an extrovert if i really want to. which is rarely.

i may be introverted, but i sure know how to party.

I care for people, its just that most of them suck

I mean I suck too. just to be clear, I wouldnt want to be giving the wrong impression around here or anything.

I tend to be introverted, but not by nature. Sometimes I really need to be left alone. I think I was more social when I was younger. I tend to attract abusive people, so I'm more cautious and hold people at a distance. I used to be more gullible and trusting, and because of some stuff that happened in my early 20's, I prefer to keep a small circle of people around me. Anything more than that, feels too out of control.

For the past two years, I'm really uncomfortable going to bars. I cannot even stand to be in them now. I feel like everything is just a huge game. Not very many people are real.

this is spot on to me.
many times i feel like why i'm so bad at socializing the way normal people do is my complete inability to consciously bypass what i really feel and put on a big ryan seacrest smile. all those insincere douches who are successful essentially because they act like it kind of disgust me, but in all honesty i kind of wish i could have done it as well

DEL

those hush puppies are so good, man. and only 4 bucks for a basket i've never been able to finish; i always leave one.

http://foodbeest.com/wordpress/wp-co...sh-puppies.jpg

When introversion is learned it is probably an "excuse" for being standoffish but all shyness can't be explained away by hating people

is introversion ever learned by someone in our culture (USA)? extroversion is rewarded in our culture much more obviously than introversion. look at CEOs, reality TV. you need to be able to extrovert confidence to get into those kinds of positions in life, even if you don't feel it. and it's not necessarily that introverts aren't confident. many of them become so as they get older, if it's not innate. but they may not show it to the world because who the fuck cares. i don't want to be a CEO or on reality tv or whatever. it's a quiet confidence. i personally am not super shy, just private. there is a difference.

If someone isn't interesting to me, I don't really care what they do. They can be phony and pat each other on the back if they want to. There are 7 billion people in the world and some of them are interesting and thoughtful. Just gotta find those people. I'm glad there are some here but it'd be nice to have some people IRL. And sometimes I'm a big fat phony, too. But when you do it constantly because that is what your position in life requires, that's a problem imo.

imo introversion is learned by being isolated/getting away with not interacting with people very much and then becoming less adept at socializing. of course it's not "refreshing" to do something that is harder and you're not as good at. it's not inherently a problem but to me this personality quiz-level explanation of "you just are or you aren't" wrt introversion is an oversimplification that doesn't actually explain anything. there are a lot of cultural and circumstantial factors that go into someone becoming more or less introverted and it's a malleable trait. it's pretty easy to support an argument that enjoying people and being comfortable around them is a buildable skill.

have you ever been to one of those fish houses where you have your choice of either complimentary rolls or free hush puppies? D:

But no matter how comfortable someone is around people, they might just prefer to not be with them most of the time.

I agree it is not an "you are or you aren't thing". Few things really are. Just using myself as an example: I like people, am not terribly socially awkward, and I'm good at improvising (making jokes, etc). But like 8 time out of 10, I'd just rather be alone. It is relaxing. I can keep my mind active and get to learn about what I want without having to do the whole social merry go round thing.

I agree that a lot of traits are malleable by culture and our immediate familial surroundings especially while growing up. And it is definitely possible to get better at being comfortable socially. But changing your skill level doesn't mean you'll necessarily like being around others more. You'll just be better at it.

When you say that introversion comes from "getting away" with not being forced to socialize, it makes me think of families where their are multiple children and they have different interaction styles. I wonder also if first born children are more likely to be extroverted.

Nature vs nurture is once again muddy.

yes but hush puppies

you know enjoying the company of other people and being comfortable may be a buildable skill but lets not go nuts with it

it's not like someone who is introverted or anti social is going to eventually become the life of the party super popularity king/queen

i mean you can only expect so much

Maybe I'm so accustomed now to being alone that I'm used to it, and anyone upsetting the balance is a bothersome notion. At the same time this scares me. There were times where being alone was agonizing, but I learned how to toughen up and deal with it.

I hear a tiny violin playing lol

people with lower-income are typically more introverted than richies - at least around people outside their immediate circle.

anyway, this whole “Introverts Rule!” thing that’s happening all over the internet is wack.

del

yes, but correlation does not equal causation. are richies more extroverted because they are rich, or rich because they are extroverted? or were their parents rich and extroverted and passed on their riches and/or values and/or biology of extroversion? or are there other factors involved (probably)?

A smart introvert will avoid situations where they could end up being considered standoffish.

Some people with poor social skills will use introversion as an excuse. I think a good measuring stick for introversion is whether the person recharges their energy being with others, or being alone. obviously a huge middle ground exists between introversion and extroversion.

http://i.imgur.com/Nvr7VGM.png

i didn't make that up, erica. so don't ask me.

that's how mbti defines it anyway.

I used to be very introverted and socially challenged. Now I love talking to and meeting new people. I'm not sure if I have become an extrovert or whether I am just an introvert with good social skills. I suspect I might be standing on the introvert/extrovert line.

Yes I think this is a good measuring stick as well.

yeah i mean staying in is great and all but at some point it gets lonely

Sometimes I get overcharged

it does, but then i can go out once and be good for another few weeks