how do you get fired
 

in such a way that you will still be able to use unemployment

objectivist randian scum: FUCK OFF thank you

ask your employer?

show up, do nothing and don't sign anything.

I learned that if I ever find myself in the position where I'm working in a bottom rung corporate job again, I'm not signing anything ever, and if they want to fire me over it, i can collect unemployment because there's no evidence that there was legitimate reason to do so.

The call center job used to make me sign those lackluster performance evaluations and I figured out that their real purpose is to keep that shit on file so that if they needed to fire you, it could be "performance related" and that you violated an agreement to improve.

Never sign anything.

I don't know the American law but where I live your employer can accuse you of intentionally disrupting work in order to gen fired. and if the court agrees with him one is denied reparations. I'd advise to try and work your way subtly. and never say anything that can be interpreted as you resigning or not wanting to work there anymore.

Come in to work drunk all the time. It's win/win.

If they fire you, you can say you have a disease and blah blah blah get diagnosed and ride that out for as long as possible.
If they don't fire you, fuck it you're drunk at work which is better than being sober and doing a job you don't want to do.

i'm pretty sure they canned my supervisor as a scapegoat move, you know...completely mismanage the account from the fucking start and just hold the bottom rung of management responsible

and then all day i get bitched at by the clients calling in and acting like we're sitting here playing games all day instead of all day on the phones and the only person answering e-mails is me but i do stuff for these people and 95% of the time their thanks is to take a huge shit on me

del

i just got (another) outraged call about how completely shitass stupid and useless me and my supervisor are, because they had to wait on hold for 30 mins and i'm a bastard and i don't respect my customer and etc

what if i started treating them like i do people on netphoria you think i can get fired and still get my unemployment because i figure no

look you stupid dick, your loser insurance company told us that we'd need 3 people to take calls from 5000 agents

they obviously didn't realize how absolutely helpless you are with computers and life in general

apologies for your terrible deficiency but we all know it doesn't take smarts to sell

don't ever call again, and drop dead. goodbye!

AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF YOUR COMPANY EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT.

i've been fired twice for calling a boss sexist. well, for one job i was in the midst of quitting when i said that so it was a mutual thing.

the other boss was an old pos who was always trying to fuck me out of pay and even tried to tell me i was an IC. i told my supervisor i wasn't the first minority woman to get dicked over in the workplace and i certainly wouldn't be the last, but i at least would say something about it. he understood, sympathized, and told me i could use him as a reference but he really couldn't do anything to make my boss less of a dick. i'm still friends with my girl brandi and she told me dave (the supervisor) almost quit recently. no one likes the boss. no one.

If you get fired for performance reasons, your state department of labor should still side with you when you file for unemployment insurance *as long as* you're not fired for misconduct: swearing at customers, stealing, etc.

I remember at one point one of the hotels I worked at tried to get me to sign a piece of paper that said they could fire me for not having training that they themselves were required to give me and had not given me yet.

did you sign it? did you get the training?

Did you laugh?

i apologize for the inconvenience please advise

shit your pants and go on medical leave

Oh man, this reminds me of my old teletech job. I couldn't get fired from there, I had to walk out in the middle of a break and not return.

I would be a little rude on phone, and hope it was getting Q'ad at the time.

I PUT ON BUSH'S MACHINEHEAD AND DO 1000 PUSH UPS

del, misread thread title

could still work

accidentally download free online poker viruses

Jut do the bare minimum and roll out the company line like a machine and make no effort to be in any way helpful to anyone beyond what could be expected as the minimum

At first it will feel wrong but soon you will go totally dead inside and you won't care anymore. The hard part is turning back ion yourself at the end of the day. That's the bit that gets harder and harder because eventually you turn into that person who is dead inside and there's nothing else to you, any more. That's when they'll fire you.

I like duovamp's and Bread Regal's ideas the best, why not combine them?

Has anyone mentioned just lining up your next job and switching? Are you looking to take a purposeful break from employment?

No, we haven't mentioned that, MOTHER.

yeah that's never actually happened to me so i dunno what you're talking about :think:

i can go months without any job offers i mean i didn't major in film like you

i'm quietly rude to some of them let me tell you

i especially like the well timed, perfectly phrased insult that they don't notice

oh well c'est la vie