Making a resume
 

How do you make a resume again?

first go to the liqour store and buy/steal some scotch.

we're gonna need that or some cocaine.

what we need here is a false sense of confidence and importance before we even put your name at the top.

But what if I suck so much that cocaine won't even make me confident.

i would just make shit up. its worked for me

I'm applying for educational content curation/creation jobs everywhere in the US.

Some of them are online companies.

like if i took one C programming course, and just wrote basic windows console programs, is it even worth mentioning on there

well atleast you are trying. some credit in that. i honestly dont know what confidence is anymore. i lost mine completely.

grab someone elses resume and frankenstein it. that has worked for me in the past. and all those templates make it a little easier. i hate writing resumes more than most things. its a hard thing to do especially when youre in the dumps and feeling down on yourself. so i dont know where to start. im in the dumps.

yes. start by overdoing and listing everything you can think of that applies. you can weed it down and edit it later. just starting a list like that of things youve done or can do will start taking shape and then you can embellish where needed.

realest words ever spoken about a resume

i think with programming jobs, its more about showing off what you can do. i heard about people who've scored jobs at google by just showcasing what they can do, it didn't matter if they were high school dropouts/burnouts living under an overpass the past ten years or whatever.

i mean i dunno anything about that field but i would just go into the most minute and asinine detail possible about my skillset

most definitely mention your ability to read people based on astrological assessment. people seeking to fill an opportunity of employment definitely need to put out an air of mysticism.

Awards & Recognition

have you used LaTeX? any resume looks better in LaTeX. I use this for my resume: http://www.ctan.org/tex-archive/macr...trib/moderncv/

Astronaut: 1996-present

i tried using latex once and it seemed like the learning curve was really steep. the equation editor in OpenOffice suited my needs just fine at the time so i didn't give it another look.

a couple of these positions require cover letters with examples of good and bad problems, so I was just going to use OpenOffice for that. Would you suggest otherwise?

from the perspective of someone who reads a lot of CVs: you'll do better if yours seems like it's written for the role. most applicants just infodump – someone going through a pile of applications doesn't want that. they want relevant information.

by all means mention that you've done some programming or whatever – the more skills you have, the better – but push it to the back. give the most space to the areas that best qualify you for the position. if you submit a cover letter, use that to demonstrate that you understand the position and optimise your CV around proving that.

(if you're applying for roles where there is a very small pool of candidates, on the other hand, don't worry about your CV so much. you're better off optimising for the interview stage)

I like to start my work experience section by listing the the job I'm applying for and putting the date of the interview as the start date.

It just shows confidence.