hahaha

all toilets should be covered in corduroy and other pleasant fabrics. porcelain is too grodie to look at. and silent. i mean, if this is a real deal, i will get a business license and make all your toilets blend in with your natural surroundings. flower pots, 48 packs of keystone light, fish tanks, cardboard boxes with clean clothes hanging out, a three foot high shot glass with a moose etching. pure custom.

ill post ideas here.

overflowing pasta bowl.
olive graden signature frozen salad bowl.
classic kfc bucket with authentic promotional items advertised like xtra tasty crispy and popcorn chicken.
medical waste bin.
xbox 360 with kinect bundle packaging. your choice
of game art.
home depot paint bucket.
laz-e boy recliner with choice of leather or upholstery. safe recliner.

ikea flower pot in various colors.
stack of papa johns pizza boxes with functioning card board lid and dipping sauces pockets.

minature replica kitchen sink and counter top with extendible hose and various nozzle attachments. optional pasta faucet.
flat top disco ball with spinning vacuum seal lid top. flush and trip the light fantastic. built in speaker for friendly fun 'disco call' handwash reminder.

I was chilling with 28if at his new house a few months ago, we both got really trashed after we moved all his shit in. He's passed out on the couch mumbling in his sleep, then he sleep-shouts, "My dog! My dog! My dog's gotta take a fucking piss!" Then he jumps up, completely asleep, runs to the kitchen and urinates in the sink

im with vixnix....put the lid down. close the whole thing up like a nice little present for the next person.

you know a lot of public restrooms don't have lids on the toilets at all, vivnix? does this freak you out so bad you cant flush the toilet? or do you like flush it with your foot and then run for it?

Yes and I hold my breath. If my kids are with me I tell them to stand back. I flush and move away all in the same movement and then I wash my hands very thoroughly.

You actually flush public toilets?

Disgusting.

vivnix your kids are going to grow up to be terrified of germs like you times ten

this is a thread

personally I bleach my kids after they sit on the toilet, you gotta be safe you know

So if you enter a private bathroom - do you think a room with a lid up/seat up toilet or a closed one looks better?

Sometimes I'm tempted not to because of the germ spray but my sense of public duty and consideration for others trumps my uneasiness about possible contamination.

I use my shoe to flush public toilets. The levers aren't that high and I don't really want to touch them. Sometimes I do, though, but, then I wash my hands anyway.

Unless you like walking in and seeing a stranger's poop and pee in a toilet you want to use, I don't see why you'd not flush and do that to someone else.

Yo Soy el Mejor in major toilet shock crisis.

I also usually flush public toilets with my foot. This is a habit I picked up my first year of live-away college when the entire lacrosse team lived in my hallway

i do it with my hand and then wash my hands for a minute or so and turn off everything/open the door with the paper towel. if there is no paper (air machine) i'll use my feet

lol you open doors with your feet.

yeah i mean if they're the kick open ones

which they usually are if it's a stalled bathroom

if it's a standalone it depends more on where it is i mean like the bathroom in my psychiatrist's office i know is clean and whatever, i'll use the handle

the one in target? ... no thanks

When I was living in the dorms, I went in to one of the stalls and saw the biggest log I've ever seen in my life floating in there. The strangest part was that there was no toilet paper in there with it. The person who dropped it either didn't wipe at all, or moved to a different stall to wipe, so as not to distract from the perfect giant they had left behind for all to see.

once I went into a stall after this guy and he says, "I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It won't go down." I gaze down into the bowl to find there a shit log roughly the size of a thermos. I say, "Holy shit man, how the fuck is that possible?" "New diet!"

later on I find out this guy's last name is actually BAUSLOG

i have a like small economy toilet or whatever. i dont think ive ever clogged one from just poop and not poop + toilet paper but i'm happy to say i crossed that threshold today ;)

I love everything about this post.

NEW DIET!

one time when i lived in a dorm i came back after a weekend and every stall on the first floor was covered in purple franzia vomit

The year I lived near all those lacrosse players, the bathrooms were so dirty it was sometimes worth it to go to another building even just to urinate. It always smelled like a cocktail of vomit, shit, and old beer bottles which people left scattered in the stalls and on the counter nightly. Sometimes I would go to use a toilet and there would be so much piss all over the seat/bowl/ground/sides of the stall that there couldn't be any other explanation other than intent. There was always vomit in the showers and a few times even a shit. My roommate began a campaign of anonymous notes. At first they were like, "please don't urinate on the seats, everyone has to use the same toilets," but soon they progressed to, "your mommies aren't here to wipe up after you anymore, cut it out," and by the end of the year they were more, "LISTEN I KNOW YOU FAGGOTS LIKE TO SIT IN EACH OTHER'S PISS BUT FUCKING STOP IT"

it was a frustrating year

why did your roommate have to call them faggots, rbg

our bathrooms were cleaned daily, mercifully.... but not on weekends. so sundays were usually not a good time to try to take a shit there.

lived there for 2 and a half years and it generally wasn't too bad.