Long distance relationships
 

Do they ever work?

No.

Yeah that is my gut feeling. My husband might be offered a job in another country but I really don't want to uproot the children again. But the job would be a huge opportunity for him.

nope they dont work

maybe if it's very time limited

What do you reckon about army wives?

Is this something you may divorce over? or is one of you going to fold if distance doesn't work out?

I suppose army wives can do it, but the divorce rate is pretty high for them too.

A man I work with's wife is moving overseas to teach for two years and they're going to stick it out, I guess. Their children are mostly grown up though. Anything's possible. Depends on the people and circumstance.

I prefer them

My elder son is seven and this would be his sixth move since birth. And he's already spent 3 years in one country and 4 in another. I just want to settle down, and we've finally found the right area. We could happily stay here until they've finished high school. If we moved it would only be for a few years, to get my husband into the banking sector, so he could get a job in a bank back here.

i just ended mine not one hour ago

Kill your family

I had a long distance relationship with a young man who lives in the SF bay area for several years (I'm in the Midwest). We exchanged hi-def videos and sexy emails for years, and he made lots of promises. While he was chatting me up, he started going on lavish dates with women, and ended up marrying one of them.

Good to see you're not butthurt about the whole thing

i'd say they're doomed. but you're already married so you've built a foundation. it could work for awhile, so long as there was a long-term plan on making it not long distance.

Oh. I guess I wouldn't want to move the kids again either... How important is it for him? And how far away would he be / how often could he come home?

I once had a long distance relationship with my current wife, but we were 4 hours away from each other and saw each other once a month.

If a ho wanna ho then let her go

Pretty much everybody in the military cheats on their S/O

I don't know. We're in Sydney and he'd be in Asia. I think if we couldn't visit him once a quarter it wouldn't be enough. It's pretty important for him, he's at a career turning point and if he got the job it would be a big step up from where he is now, which is what he wants.

The other thing is there is a huge expat community over there, and they all have nannies and drivers because help is so affordable there. So it could make more sense for us all to go. In terms of my kids long term mental health I wonder if it would be better to stay. Having said that my husband was constantly on the move as a child and he's much more well adjusted than I am, in a lot of ways. anyway, the offer's not on the table yet so I won't worry too much.

Seems like long term relationships are pretty doomed though.

Yeah I think if he's on his own in a new city he may find it easy to go and play. Having kids and getting older didn't hurt his looks, like they did mine. My friends all say he's good looking. Plus he's tall and has blue eyes. He's pretty hot. Ugh. Meanwhile I'm a dowdy looking cafeteria lady who takes the kids to school and church on Sunday. He'd never leave me because being married and having a family mean more to him than anything. But you know what they say about a man only being as faithful as his options.

Post some nude or scantily clad photos of him so we can get an idea of who or what we are dealing with.

I TRIED! (I GAVE UP)

I don't think proximity has much to do with cheating. At least in my experience, it didn't.

boring :(

Yes. I think you need a defined endpoint though.

And to everyone saying definitively that they don't work, you don't know what you're talking about. It's hard. But it can work. If you want it to.

Did one of those for a few years - with a former Netphorian, actually - and agree. Unless there's a defined endpoint and a serious commitment to fidelity then it's rough. But, it can be done.

Think it's a lot different today than it was, say, 13 years ago in the days of calling cards and long distance fees. The unlimited calling/texting/webcam thing today would probably make it more novel for a while, but in the end, I think that might just make the longing/frustration worse.

yeah i did the whole calling card thing in 1999. funny you picked that year (13 years ago)

we did use VoIP a little too but it sucked with dialup

Long distance is the wrong distance.

That's when I was soldering through the long distance thing... 1999 through 2002, really. Did yours fall apart too?

lol you have no idea

i mean we did live together for 4 1/2 years after that but yes, it was an epic disaster and fucked up my life for more than a decade and still does in a lot of ways

but i realize that's not prototypical

man did you go through like all the different cards you could find at different gas stations trying to find the ones that actually charged like they were supposed to?

How did you guys meet these people? Online?

I met my husband at an ATM.

netphoria is a good spot for advice

Especially ones relating to interpersonal relationships.

"another place another time perhaps"

It's as good a place as any.

I know I'm new. But this place is pretty much my life. As it dies, so I grow ever weaker.

If you've been entirely honest vixnix, I think you'd have more of an issue with it than your dude. Beyond that, why would you consider it a negative that your children are becoming more worldly at a young age?