Right?

When I was in NZ I met this Dutch kid my age who was with his dad. He had basically been doing the same thing I had, but was out of cash and wrote home: "send money. and dad." so his dad hopped on a plane, flew down, and they did it together. I never missed my dad like I did when I was with them.

They were really cool, too. We met in the backwoods and spent 3 hours building a fire after 24hours of rain. Successfully! we were able to cook chicken over it!

Cool!
I've always wanted to go to NZ

I cried last week because they tricked earnest into talking grampa into selling camp kikakee and the troubled inner city youth was going to have to go back to juvy.

if you ever get the chance, i highly recommend it.

I might go back soon.

I will.
I'm going to Italy and Sicily soon
I can't wait

i cried um
i think last tuesday
in therapy

i don't really cry outside of therapy. fear of exposure. feels unsafe. it's okay in the office. once in a while i sort of cry but it's more like making weird primal guttural noises in place of actual tears or any kind of actual release of emotion. and i get sad thinking about my grandmother who passed away in march and tear up once in a while.

i'd say i cry about once every two weeks right now, it really does feel good eventually. i cried for about 30 seconds after i ran away from my car that was on fire but it was more like a why me pity cry and then i got over it

Aw, sorry about your grandmother

thanks, it's alright she was 88 and she had a good death if you know what i mean - was her time. i lived with her for two years up until about five weeks before she died when she was in hospice. :)

aw I'm sorry, too. But glad it was a peaceful end.

Yeah.
At least it was peaceful
Unlike the death of my father...

sorry to hear it was not peaceful (and that he died in the first place)... what happened? (only answer if you want to)

oh, don't worry

He overdosed on heroin

I didn't even know he was a drug addict in the first place, it was awful

It completely ripped me apart.

Absolute nightmare

how long ago was this? were you living with him when it happened (full or part time)? i have a friend whose mother died of lung cancer when he was 13 and i can't really imagine losing a parent at an age like that. i knew him when it was happening but not as well as i do now.

really sorry to hear about this, and i can also see how it might relate to your feelings on your brother being kicked out. complicated emotions.

I was 11.

My parents were divorced, and I lived with my mom full time

He really only had visitation rights

So I didn't see him a whole lot

HE cancelled visits a lot too because he was "sick"

:/ have you ever been in therapy or would you be interested in it?

Yeah I've been in therapy for a while now.

I take meds too

well that's good, you have a head start most definitely compared to a lot of people your age :)

not crazy about high schoolers being on psych meds but some definitely need it, i certainly did and never got them for numerous reasons

somebody just should have told me that i'm an ok dude

*shrug*

a lot could have been avoided

cool

i get a runny nose when i eat pussy :censored:

It's such a silly problem, it's typical, I like a girl, she's with someone, I spent half a year trying to love this person and I get this thrown at me...It happens to me all the time...It's so stupid, I'm such a baby.

They spent New Years Day together...What did I do on New Years Day? I stayed in my basement...alone.

so are you saying you always fall for girls who are unavailable?

It seems that way...I didn't know she was with anyone.

oh, i see

you can't read minds, so i hope you can not blame yourself... ahem... or scold yourself. how could you have known?

All this means is that you're actually in love with you're sociopathic, homicidal sister.

I actually didn't know until now, I told her "I have feelings for you, I want to talk to you more..." her response was "herm. i have a boyfriend."

yes sometimes i will just get upset and my nose will start to run before my tears fall.