i. have. the WORST. neighbours. on the planet.
 

my lady friend and i live right above this atrocious family. they're the most impossibly annoying bunch of fucks i've ever seen. it's intolerable. they're this big musical family and every family member except the father plays a different instrument.
this, along with insufficient isolation, causes me to be raped DAILY into listening to one of the following, at almost any given time of the day:

- the retarded teenage boy who plays either Stairway To Heaven or Comfortably Numb on guitar. nothing else. EVER. seriously.

- the 13 year old girl who plays the same piano piece every single time she touches the piano. i've been living here for almost 6 months - never heard her play something else.

- another girl, who plays the same scales on a saxophone every single time she plays.

- and the worst of all: the mother. she sings through an amp of some sort, because i hear her extremely loud sometimes. one day she woke me up at 8:00 am, and kept singing the same song, IN A LOOP, with the occasional 10 minute break, until around 14:00 o'clock.
same. song. 6 hours.

step 1: record all of the above
step 2: detune them by half a semitone either up or down, doesn't matter. don't make it a whole semitone, because then they can compensate.
step 3: play it back through loudspeakers at the same time as they are practicing... it will be the most utterly distracting thing for them to play through, ever.

SOUND ENGINEERS UNITE!

what about the folks that have Jeffrey Dahmer as a neighbour?

what about dot dot dot

hitler dot dot dot

question mark

NEIGH BORES

besides, what kind of people play an instrument only for the sake of playing ONE SONG OVER AND OVER

these people are the most horrifyingly square bunch of fucks ever
i honestly can't think of one time i heard one of them play something that is not the predetermined song they practiced over and over and over

what about hitler? would you like to have had him as a neighbour?

have you put raw eggs through their mailbox yet?

man the egg sure is gonna be all over your face when it turns out these people are mentally disabled

not this egg

this egg is unrelated to my previous post

hitler was very gassy. you don't want to live next to him.

alternative scenario: the family are automata installed by satan with the sole purpose of driving you mad

like a poe story

only with egg

this is hardly realistic.

they're not mentally disabled. our condo is right above theirs, and they're the kind of people who leave their front door open continuously. sometimes i'd get home and one of the parents would just try to land a conversation with me

Just fall in line, dude. Get a drumset. You ever heard someone try to learn the drums? Do that.

yeah whatever hitler

hey guy the mentally disabled enjoy a nice chinwag just as much as the rest of us

i hardly believe i'm willing to spend that much money just to fight a couple of mentally disabled folks

egg face dude

is that like the new bo dude

all over your face

this is pretty weird

get them a fake book for new years, maybe they'll take a hint and learn some of the songs

Have you ever talked to them about it?

^ lol check out this guy

eggs, dude, through the mailbox
that's the only language they understand