Gift giving etiquette
 

I didn't give this baby gift on time at the shower, and now she's about to have the actual baby and I don't know what to do.


I was invited to this baby shower the ONLY weekend off from work that I had to drink and go out with friends for my birthday. I got super drunk and the next day was so hungover that I missed the baby shower and felt like a total asshole. I kept wanting to meet up with her (she lives 40 miles away) but I didn't know when she was awake (she works night shift). I still have the gift, and its super really cute....but I don't know when would be an appropriate time to meet up with her. She's due any day now, so should I wait until she has the baby and things calm down, or should I immediately try to set up a time and give it to her before she has her so that when she does bring the baby home its not all hectic? i'm a horrible person :cry:

she's the asshole for having a baby shower
you're under no obligation to attend or give a gift

here are gifts a new parent needs

money
xanax

anything else youre just wasting your time

The worst part is when she first told me she was pregnant I said I'd take her to the clinic if she needed it. lol

the guy she got impregnated by beat her up and when she called the police they said she had to leave because the house and the car were in her name, and he already had a girlfriend when she found out she was pregnant. Her mom kicked her out when she found out she was pregnant.....but lets her live there on the premiss that she is going to find a new place....then the prenatal doctor made her listen to the ultra sound so she felt like she had to keep it. Then i'm in her ear telling her she doesn't need any ties to this guy and she needs to abort it, but she ends up not doing that and really wanting to keep the baby.....and now i'm like UGH WHY BAD DECISIONS! so she's gonna have go on welfare, she's got lupus, already had 2 strokes, high blood pressure, and even though she's had the strokes she's pretty mobile and all but her left hand isn't as dexterous as it should be. UGH too much to unload on netphoria but you guys would never tell right!!

what's the gift?

I hope the baby gnaws your fingers off.

dexterous means "right handed." we shouldn't expect too much of that from left hands.

i'd wait until the baby is born, go on a baby visit and give the present then.

Yeah Sounds good to me.

it was all duck inspired bath stuff. like duck towel duck washcloth duck bath toy. i've got a lot of anxiety around deadlines so i either put it off forever or just rush into it without thinking. ugh

you can do it.

:erm:

Most women welcome the distraction of a visit, right at the end of their pregnancies... she's probably finished working and is bored and uncomfortable, waiting for the baby to come. I really appreciated all the visitors I had in those weeks, so just go whenever I reckon.

by that logic, 'ambidexterous' means your'e .... right handed with both hands?
dexterous means being skillful with one's hand.

awesome.

um, yeah, i believe that's what ambidextrous means. no?

and ok, it doesn't really mean "right handed". but etymologically, that's where it comes from. dexter comes from the old greek for right hand (for most people, the more skillfull hand), sinister meant left hand.

huh. i did not know this

still, not what it means now.

and this woman sounds like an absolute wreck. is someone going to help her take care of this kid??

next time you have to bring a gift to something like a wedding or shower, buy only a gift card. When you get to the event, go over to the gift table, find a wrapped gift that you like the size and shape of. Remove the card or tag that is on it and replace it with yours.

problem solved.

is there any way to reference bill's 'greek choir of fools' speech into this.
just asking

dex·ter·ous - adj - done with dexterity, skillful and competent with the hands.

i registered for gifts for my birthday at macy's and target

I was super bummed when she told me she was pregnant because I knew the baby's father was not going to be around. Welfare, maybe her mom, and medicaid are going to help her raise the child =-/

your friend had to leave because the house and car was in whose name?

his name ooops. they were in his name but she paid on them jointly with him. sucks

oh yeah, that is bogus. fuck people like him. hopefully she will fuck him up via court ordered child support. although your friend isn't really coming from a defensible position, either. particularly after ignoring your sound advice. but if you're her friend, hook her up whenever. just be sure to get it to her. nothing worse than buying gifts and never giving it to the person (something ive done) for one reason or another.

I really don't know why I have anxiety over something so stupid as just giving a gift to someone or attending some party for a certain reason and not just a get-to-gether. Its like if I know I have o be somewhere at a certain time, and its on a very specific date I'll come up with anything to do instead. I also hate dr. appointments, and i'm chronically late :(

AND yeah it sucks when a mother who is obviously at a giant disadvantage not having a career (just a desk job), savings account, insurance, and significant other....gets so emotionally bonded with a child she can't support....but is so optimistic that she can somehow make it through life. Its sweet to a degree, but I think we all know that childs life is going to be a struggle. Call me heartless but I would have taken the abortion route.

I'm the same way, with certain things. I didn't get my license until I was 22, for example. And that was because I had to. But yeah, chances are she's more attached to the dude then the baby. Which is a terrible reason to follow through on an unplanned pregnancy (if the relationship is dead).