how's it going, netphoria?
 

Sometimes, I am a chicken. That's how my day has been.

What about you guys?

I'm not sure. I've been single since Saturday, and I think I'm already falling in love again. Now I'm wondering what the fuck is wrong with me..

Why are you poultry?

Because I have a fear of failing miserably... so I'm avoiding doing something that I really want to do. If I didn't want to do it this much, I wouldn't care if I went down in flames. But yeah.

At least you don't seem to be brooding too much about the recent breakup, which can be good!

What are the risks, apart from "failing"? Would it be worth those risks?



Yeah, I'm surprised myself. But I'm also afraid this new thing going on is just some kind of rebound reflex. Gah.

The only risks are: failing and losing some money.

If it doesn't work out, I wouldn't lose my job. If it doesn't work out, it wouldn't be the end of the world, it would just make me feel defeated and stupid.

Which happens sometimes anyway, so whatever.

And what really sucks is that I can't talk about it with most of the people I know, as I know most of those people from work... and if I get into the program and find a new job, I'll obviously be leaving my current job in July/August.



Let the rebound reflex do it's thing. It might help. For awhile anyway.. and then if it stops working, the breakup would be so far in the past, there wouldn't be that much of a need to be all bitter and angry about it. Or something. What kind of relationship advice do I have anyway? If I ever had to date again, I'd be screwed.

oh, and it also kinda leaves me at a loss for references. I've got a bunch of references that can say great things about (1) how I lead (2) how I teach (3) how I'm knowledgeable and driven (4) how I've wanted to do this and (5) how I'm one of the most dependable people ever.

But I either work with them currently or I used to... all for the same company. And since I don't want to tip ANYONE off that I might be leaving until I get an official job offer, I don't know who can be my professional references. Ughhhhh

I just now realized that your avatar is the Tardis. I'm an idiot.

I hate having to work for other people. I hate being in a situation where I have to use words like "knowledgeable" and "driven". The corporate world just sucks the personality right out of you. My advice would be to quit your job and go sit on the beach. A beach with alcohol for sale nearby. And some nice music.

i'm getting high instead of writing about how wollstonecraft would have responded to rousseau's emile!

this too.