So I can't fuck my girlfriend
 

It literally does not work. She experiences extreme pain every time we try, and my dick will just NOT go in. She's a virgin, I am not. We've been dating for a year :(

Apparently there is a name for this "condition:" Vaginismus.

Apparently you have to "systematically desensitize" the area by starting small and sticking larger and larger things up there, but she wont buy the kits they sell for it and refuses to use a cucumber and a vegetable peeler (my suggestion). Anybody have experience with this/advice?

28if, welcome to Tier 1

Start with one finger.

Then two.

Then three.

Get her used to the fingers and the increasing size.

is she naked in your bed right now as you search netphoria for a solution?

and can you post a pic so we can get a better idea of what we're dealing with?

i know a girl with this.

wait, were you talking to me or 28if? Should I be inserting the fingers in her :think:

WTF, are you serious? There's your problem. The thought of a sharp object in a hoo-ha pretty much turns chicks off.

Seriously though, what Nimrod said.

i think he means graduating the size of the cucumber with the vegetable peeler.

oh, bummer... your chicks got a tight pussy.

why not just use a Slap Chop?

28if, can you post a link to one of these pussy opening kits?

Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Still, raw veggies (especially pealed) in your vag is asking for some kind of infection :erm:

someone should

condoms.

didnt you go to school for some kind of engineering jokeyloki.

lol they're all over the net. it's just a set of dildos steadily increasing in size.

She can handle two fingers with no problem, and has been using tampons forever. Apparently it's more of a psychological thing than a physical thing. The brain expects pain and refuses to open the vaginal muscles and whatnot. I guess she had a bad experience the first time she went to the gynocologist :erm:

We've been trying to do this since last summer now. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is a smiley large enough to express my feelings on this issue.

although since you're catholic, i can forgive not knowing what a condom is.

Oh yeah JokiLoki you're a fucking idiot.

...last summer?

I thought using a condom was assumed but like, even if you didn't use one how would putting a vegetable in your pussy cause some sort of infection? Like, you can fucking EAT IT, but you can't put it in your fucking vagina and move it around a little bit?

Shouldn't you be busy watermarking some shitty wedding photos or something?

"JENNY ZANDRASTA"

get her drunk

buy her a dildo.

that's probably the best advice

Didn't work.

She didn't get drunk?

Because all you do is get her drunk, start with the fingers, then slip it in without warning.

Dude you're not understanding. It's like, intense physical pain. Like tear inducing pain. I'm sure this doesn't hold for the majority of Netphoria, but for me that's a pretty big boner-killer.

give her some painkillers? oxycontin?