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-   -   two co workers of mine have used "nigger" casually in conversation (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=154413)

Thaniel Buckner 12-16-2007 05:00 AM

two co workers of mine have used "nigger" casually in conversation
 
in the past two days. one of whom i have actually come to respect a great deal over the past half year.

it was shocking. i have avoided eye contact with them since. i haven't said anything to them but i'm wondering if i should make any sort of fuss. i'd hate to involve HR, but i'd really like to get them to realize how simple minded that shit is.

Warsaw 12-16-2007 05:07 AM

I think you should confront them.

Debaser 12-16-2007 05:09 AM

it's probably too late for them to change

Warsaw 12-16-2007 05:11 AM

http://www.tolerance.org/speakup/

Warsaw 12-16-2007 05:15 AM

Appeal to Principles.

If the speaker is someone you have a relationship with — a sister, friend or co-worker, for example — call on their higher principles: "******, I've always thought of you as a fair-minded person, so it shocks me when I hear you say something that sounds so bigoted."

Debaser 12-16-2007 05:16 AM

no no no. that would only work if you are certain that these coworkers actually respect you and value your opinion. otherwise you're just setting up yourself to be ridiculed by them either to your face or behind your back.

Warsaw 12-16-2007 05:18 AM

Saying nothing is a guarantee that nothing will change.

BlissedandGone2 12-16-2007 05:22 AM

this is depressing

Debaser 12-16-2007 05:26 AM

In your shoes I would probably just be pre-emptive and ridicule them first. "Did you just say...? *laugh at them* Fucking nerds..." Try to shame them -- but at the same time keep it ambiguous whether or not you are being serious or light about it. So in case it backfires horribly, creating a hostile work environment, threatening your financial situation, etc, you can attempt to defuse it by backing off your principles and making light of it. I know that doesn't sound very honorable, but is it worth losing your job over some racist buffoons?

Of course if I was actually above them in power or don't care about my job, then I would employ a different strategy.


*edit* now if you do know that they respect you and/or see you as an equal or actually you guys were friends, I still would avoid trying to lecture them -- who ever listens to a preachy lecture? I would simply and sternly tell them to not say that shit around me because it makes them sound like fucking idiots.


why did i spend so much time thinking about this?

Trotskilicious 12-16-2007 05:26 AM

warsaw sucks

Warsaw 12-16-2007 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious
warsaw sucks

Aw shucks. :blush:

BlissedandGone2 12-16-2007 05:37 AM

i naturally cringe when i hear any racial slur or jokes. they would have known immediately i was uncomfortable if i were in your shoes because of the look on my face. :erm: :confused: :eek: :nooooo: :Skeptical :O :unhappy: kinda like all that.

Trotskilicious 12-16-2007 05:52 AM

There are several racists at my place of work and one homophobe.

In their defense, I am mean to retards.

Sylvia Woods 12-16-2007 05:53 AM

annoying

duovamp 12-16-2007 05:54 AM

Fucking crackers.

Trotskilicious 12-16-2007 05:57 AM

it's not real hard to go, "that's fucking racist" to people's faces.

Debaser 12-16-2007 06:00 AM

wow. so simple. it's late and I'm not thinking clearly.

Warsaw 12-16-2007 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious
it's not real hard to go, "that's fucking racist" to people's faces.

http://216.128.19.104/galleries/amer...AI5R090634.jpg

Trotskilicious 12-16-2007 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debaser
wow. so simple. it's late and I'm not thinking clearly.

don't you dare mock me!!!

asdf 12-16-2007 07:00 AM

You should rent Clerks 2 for them. That'll learn em




Quote:

Originally Posted by Thaniel Buckner
in the past two days. one of whom i have actually come to respect a great deal over the past half year.

it was shocking. i have avoided eye contact with them since. i haven't said anything to them but i'm wondering if i should make any sort of fuss. i'd hate to involve HR, but i'd really like to get them to realize how simple minded that shit is.


TuralyonW3 12-16-2007 07:20 AM

yeah but was it funny?

Thaniel Buckner 12-16-2007 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debaser
In your shoes I would probably just be pre-emptive and ridicule them first. "Did you just say...? *laugh at them* Fucking nerds..." Try to shame them -- but at the same time keep it ambiguous whether or not you are being serious or light about it. So in case it backfires horribly, creating a hostile work environment, threatening your financial situation, etc, you can attempt to defuse it by backing off your principles and making light of it. I know that doesn't sound very honorable, but is it worth losing your job over some racist buffoons?

Of course if I was actually above them in power or don't care about my job, then I would employ a different strategy.


*edit* now if you do know that they respect you and/or see you as an equal or actually you guys were friends, I still would avoid trying to lecture them -- who ever listens to a preachy lecture? I would simply and sternly tell them to not say that shit around me because it makes them sound like fucking idiots.


why did i spend so much time thinking about this?

one is a lady who...is an alcoholic/opiate addict and she's a bit of a self centered bitch. she's from new york but she acts like she's from new jersey. to be honest, i don't really want to talk to her anymore because now i think about it, she is a lost soul in so many more respects than this.

the other one is a dude in his 40's or so with a family. he's currently going back to school and we talk about the stuff he's learning in his world religions class. he's aware the bible is bullshit so i know he's capable of critical thinking.

the exact context of his usage was we were talking about his black labrador which he described as sweet and innocuous but "when i take him off the leash, you should see the niggers run".

see? i can't tell if it was a benign "chris rock says it so i can say it" kind of thing, or if it was something much deeper. either way, it's a filthy word with a lot of different meanings behind it and unless you're dead fucking positive you won't be misinterpreted, you probably shouldn't use it.

i'd like to let it slide, but i don't think i'll be able to. if anything it's something i need clarification on.

Mo 12-16-2007 12:02 PM

There are two guys working directly for me who used the words 'nigger' or 'Neger' [in German that's pretty much the same] on a regular basis - until I told them that I would not tolerate that kind of talk. They stared at me, got angry, but soon realized that there was nothing they could do. Ha.

SlingeroGuitaro 12-16-2007 12:05 PM

http://z.about.com/d/healing/1/5/_/t...agreements.jpg


the sooner everyone can read this book the better off we all will be

Shapan 12-16-2007 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thaniel Buckner
the exact context of his usage was we were talking about his black labrador which he described as sweet and innocuous but "when i take him off the leash, you should see the niggers run".

wow.

Eulogy 12-16-2007 12:12 PM

just tell them to use "faggot" instead!

sppunk 12-16-2007 12:13 PM

Be nice to Toby and kristinxp.

Shapan 12-16-2007 12:14 PM

from bigotry to s&m

monkeyfritters 12-16-2007 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eulogy
just tell them to use "faggot" instead!

always the diplomat

Rockin' Cherub 12-16-2007 12:33 PM

most of my coworkers say it too. but i don't say anything because whenever i do people go all "aww stop being so complicated" on me


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