*I hate the way I look
*I've only been in 1 real relationship
*The guy was 3yrs younger than me
*I didn't loose my virginity until I was 18
*I always seem to attract guys that I know will hate me & never be with me
*I'm falling in love with someone who constantly hurts me & I let him
*I have a webpage that makes me sick but I like the attention I get
*I can't pay any of my bills because I'm contstantly spending my pay checks on stupid things
*I try to be a super hard ass but I'm a scaried cat
*I always feel alone even when I'm not
*I have a collection of porno
*I might be pregnant but I'm too scared to find out
*I use to be in love with my best friend but really found out that I can't stand him
*I'm very submissive

------------------
You want me
To give you everything
You think that
everything starts with me
You want all the rest
After all the best
You don't ever rest and
I can't breathe
Oh yeah
You keep pushing on me



[This message has been edited by Starla Cash Star (edited 02-19-2002).]

*Im really a bastard inside*
*I dont mind some Celine Dion once in a great while*
*My pubes are getting a little long for this time of year*

-I haven't studied for about a week
-I skipped 2 of 3 classes today *shame*
-I think I am going to fail my Astronomy exam tomorrow..because I don't understand the stuff we are talking about
-I sold alcohol to 2 of my underage friends tonight at work
-I can't decide if I like Ryan or Colin more..this is bad because they are roommates
-I suck at card games as well (saw someone else mention it)
-I got a minor consumption violation on January 12th http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif
-I think I am getting a sore throat

boo hoo

lol, so typical of a "girl".

dumb and pathetic.



------------------
fuck it.

aim - AnotherSpaceJam

Ok, now for a real time to open up:

- I have escapist fantasies
- I still get good grades and join stuff like the California Scholastic Federation and Academic Decathalon so I might get into a good college
- I can't seem to play guitar for any length of time
- I'm an attention whore
- I wish I could at least bring myself to talk to this one girl in my French class to ascertain if my first conclusion that she was groovy enough to have a crippling crush on was accurate
- I wish I had a closer relationship with my friends, espcially Amanda and Lindsey
- I should appreciate what my parents do for me more
- I'm not sensitive enough to my mother's illness
- I'm an asshole to everyone except Amanda, Lindsey, and Jeanette
- I don't get out enough
- I'm more vain than I let on
- I'm unhappy with my physical appearance
- I don't read as much as I should
- I think I care too much about other people's opinion of me
- I can't dive and for some reason I'm really ashamed of this
- I don't wear my retainers as often as I should
- I have no natural smile (this was verified by my speech pathologist)
- I should be happier
- I wish I could sing
- I air guitar...a lot
- I pretend to be ignorant of certain elements of pop culture to seem cooler
- I still haven't read Cry, The Beloved Country for Academic Decathalon
- I'm too damn materialistic
- I use too many profanities
- I'm jealous of certain aspects of my friends, be it their artistic ability, intelligence, charisma, or whatever
- I get too angry over trivial things
- I value some of my time on Netphoria
- I don't have any substantial problems

-I have problems falling asleep at night
-I often have nightmares about things that happened to me in junior high and about buildings exploding and/or falling down
-I have only really truly been attracted to 2 guys in my entire life
-the other day I sent a really bitchy e-mail to one of those guys
-which resulted in he and I having a mini-fight
-it was our first fight in the 3 years that we've known each other
-which is odd considering all the shit that has happened between us
-we are currently making up
-which is weird/hard since we live so far apart
-I'm not sure whether I truly honestly like this guy or if it is just a major physical attraction
-I blame my parents for a lot of the stuff that happened to me in junior high since I felt/feel like they weren't there for me and did nothing to help me
-which is why I tend not to really appreciate some of the things my parents do for me now since I sorta feel like they owe it to me or something
-when I say "parents" I really just mean my mom
-my dad has never really been anyone/anything to me other than someone who happens to live in the same house as my mom
-when I was in high school I was terrified of my younger brother and his violent tendencies
-things got better between us after I moved away from home
-and now he treats me really well and I actually consider him to be one of my close friends
-I have no close friends here in NYC
-I tend to do most things on my own (i.e. going to concerts, going to movies, going to bars, etc.)
-sometimes I think I've become too independent for my own good
-I'm seeing Bush in concert 2 times next month
-and I'm actually excited about it
-my favorite thing to do is go to concerts
-but I'm never satisfied with just going, I have to be up front and I have to meet and/or hang out with the band
-I have actually made out with a couple of lead singers from some well-known bands
-but I always leave and go home alone before anything acutally happens
-I wouldn't mind just spending my life following around and hanging out with bands
-I feel ugly 85% of the time
-which is a drastic improvement compared to how I felt about myself a couple of years ago
-when I can't sleep at night I tend to post really long posts on Netphoria http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif
-I can't handle criticism well
-I'm afraid that I am going to fail at life
-I'm really tired and I can't fall asleep
-I think I smoke too much
-I am really craving sex

------------------
~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

yeah, i had some of those nightmares about buildings falling and down and such...but not really anymore. you're in manhattan, right?

- I've faked orgasms....many a time.
- Only ONE guy was ever able to get me off during sexual intercourse.
- Only TWO with oral.
- Masturbation is the way to go.
- Whenever I use my roommate's ID I call my mom and tell her before I go out...just in case something happens.
- My fake ID with my picture on it will be ready tomorrow.
- I paid $100.
- I hate my body.
- My current boyfriend is someone I think I could settle down with and that scares the shit out of me.
- I don't know if he thinks the same way because he's not always open with his feelings.
- I like hot wax.
- I rarely study and somehow I get amazing grades, I've even been asked to be a TA for the fall.
- I'm a sorority girl.
- I like being a sorority girl.
- Hell, I'm Vice President Public Relations for Panhellenic Association (think governing executive body over all sororities at KU).
- I'm obsessed with Chicago.
- I often wonder why no one wants to see my picture on netphoria...but whatever.
- I'd like to be a little more reserved and quiet.
- I can be kind of a bitchy loud mouth.
- I hope my old roommate dies a long painful death.
- I was born in Canada.

I WAS MOLESTED.
I LIKE TACOS.
I MASTURBATE ABOUT 5 TIMES A DAY AND I CUM ON THE WALL INSTEAD OF A RAG OR A TSHIRT. MY WALLS HAVE A COAT OF MY SEMEN.
I LIKE TO STICK MY **** IN GIRLS BUTTHOLES BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD.
CHEERLEADERS TURN ME ON.


------------------
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A LION CHASING A BUTTERFLY!
http://www.noyen.org/images/julian.jpg

manipulative, have an aversion to pants, don't like being touched, wish i hadn't given up the violin.

[This message has been edited by jenniferkate (edited 02-19-2002).]

JESUS

H

CHRIST

I'm self centered. Kill me.

-I wear a shirt and tie almost everyday
-I hate how I look
-I think Katie Couric is hot
-I drool when I slept
-I can't drink worth shit
-I like Dave Matthews
-I fall for women I can't have
-I'm a momma's boy
-I'm too nice
-No one on this board knows me
-I care too much about what people think of me
-I never go out on the weekends


AIM: puggbugg

-I am hooked on therepy. i love it
meth is the devil
I can relate to alot people are saying. I have been there and done that
I am 30
I am getting sterilized. I want no children. I have a daughter who is being raised by my bro. I gave up a son for adopt.
I pretty much killed a baby whom was born premature. i could not stop using meth and I had a shitload. Could not throw it away.
I feel I need to be sterilized partly to punish myself.
I am glad my doc is going to fix part of my past c-section scar at no charge.
I have been in mental institutions about 5 times(meth related)
I have had no drugs or drink for 3 yrs.
I am now hooked on working out which is a miracle to me. I could not even take a shower without havin to go lie down after. SOOOOOOOOOOOO much more. I am not coming back here to read any comments on this cause I dont want to be called a murderer by people whom do not understand addiction. Bye.
i am serious when i say i can relate to a hell of alot of what you people are saying

-You and I have some things in common. The last couple years of my old relationship were basically a waste. I'm 23 and straight and have a soft spot for stuffed animals. And I can certainly be intimidating.

-I have been trying to stay away from Netphoria. This is my first post in a month or so, and only my third in a couple months. This topic was too intriguing to ignore.

-People who don't know me personally usually think I am an asshole, a pervert, or both. I have heard this countless times. It pisses me off. Once they get to know me, they then see that I am actually a decent person.

-Also, people think I am crabby all of the time. My walking 'style' is usually a 'walk with a purpose', and I don't always have a smile on my face. Thus I am perceived as crabby. I get crabby when people continually ask me if I am crabby. Why can't you ask something like, 'How are you today?' first? It makes a world of difference.

-I am not the friend I should be to a majority of my close friends, many of whom would bend over backward to support me. I am amazed that some of them stick with me.

-The above is largely because I am selfish. It was always a problem in my relationship with my ex, and I struggle with it every fucking day.

-I am a thesis away from graduating with a secondary education degree. I haven't started. And I am not even sure I am going to be a teacher. I am going to Europe for two months in March, and I have no fucking clue what I will be doing when I get back. I will have no job, no place to live, and no direction.

-I collect action figures, play video games, watch wrestling, and, as mentioned before, have a thing for stuffed animals. I ask myself if I am immature. I recently took down all of my posters in my apartment because it bothered me that people might come in and think I am immature. I'm supposed to be graduating and beginning 'real life'- I'm supposed to be mature. The posters were a sign of immaturity. I'm not sure yet if taking them down is/was a good thing or not...

-I never receieved a Netphorian secret santa gift.

-I think, after nearly 7 years, I am finally getting over my first love. This occurs at a time when she is newly single. I am somewhat proud of myself. I still would like to tell her how I have felt the majority of the past few years- I think it would finally bring closure.

-I am currently interested in a young lady who has a boyfriend. There is a connection between us- I feel it. And I *know* she feels it.

-I really should not drink to get drunk. The past few times I have has resulted in some not-so-good things. I accidentally broke a window after a friend locked us out of the fish house and I was pounding on the door for him to let us in. He got glass in his eye and had to go to the ER. I have a rep as an obnoxious drunk, and some friends do not like being around me when I have had a few.

------------------
Fuck You.
Tradelist

-Frank is a fake name. my real name is Marcux Agusto
-I'm really 31 yrs old
-I work for a government agency
-I have lived in Morocco, Dublin, Guam, Japan, and Vancouver
-I know how to kill a man with my finger
-I'm known as the most dangerous in the agency

Lol!

* I've visted Netphoria for two years but I've never bothered to post a message.
* You all are pretty much assholes and pessimists... so I thought it was about time to join my clan.
* I don't think I've ever felt passionate about anything.
* I have no idea why I'm doing in my life right now.
* I have a lack of motivation to do things I should be doing.

- i realize no one here knows me, and therefore don't care about what i say on here.
- as of right now, i'm 3 credits short of graduating this spring.
- i will do anything for those credits.
- its getting hard to deny my feelings for this girl who is moving across the country in a couple months.
- i have no idea how she feels about me.
- i lurked on this board for about 6 months before i registered, and then didn't start posting on a semi-regularly basis until a few months after that.
- i am really, really bad at ending relationships.

eh.

[This message has been edited by spaceboy147 (edited 02-19-2002).]

-i think someone is hot, last name Harris first name Drew

someone please archive this.

it's the thread you read and say, "WHOA! AND I THOUGHT I WAS FUCKED UP!"

i need this around when i'm feeling down.

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif

------------------
TOOL FUCKING SUCKS

http://www.noyen.org/spendlove/hail_luci.jpg

got any pics?

i admit, iam afraid to stop and think of an honest reply.

I have a fetish for raver or dark looking girls
I like poetry
I am paranoid
I am into Oldies
Old country kicks ass
I have a crush on no ome right now
I'm cynical
I get too attached
I'm agnostic
I think Britney Spears is cool if you're not looking for something deep.
I have drifted away from harder rock in trade for things that are lighter in sound
However, by irony, I am starting to like Marilyn Manson.
I used to be really depressed, but I'm content now
I like the Family Guy (good show, dammit!)

*I am completely in love with my best friend, but she is a lesbian, so I know I can never be with her.
*She moved away to college and I never see her anymore.
*I am sad and suicidally depressed everyday and I cry myself to sleep everynight. But I know that I could never harm myself.
*I do everything I possibly can for my best friend, and all I have ever asked for in return was a simple phone call, which she promised she would do, but never has.
*I have never truly studied in my life for any school work, and I have always gotten by, I have never failed a class, and rarely gotten a D. I got honors on my senior math proficiency test last year, and I even forgot to bring a calculator, I did it all by hand. Everyone says I am so smart, but yet I always seem to think that I am lost, and behind everyone else.
*I BS my way through life, and I don't know why I even bother getting up in the mornings.
*The only reason I am going to college right now is because my best friend was upset one day and said that she would know noone at this college. I care about her so much, I applied to the school and was accepted. She decided to move 50 miles away to another school a week after I payed my acceptence fee.

------------------
No way to disconnect

stupid whore

I am not in any sort of education at the moment.
I wish I was.
I don't have any close friends.
I wish I did.
I hate living with my mum, I fear we've spent too long together and something destructive will happen.
I feel uncomfortable around my dad, he thinks I'm gay and that I'm on Drugs.
I am very lazy and unmotivated.
My Mum think there's "something wrong with me" mentally, she's told me this
I visit this board at least twice a week.
I wanna study music but I know my parents will be against it(esp) my dad.
I wanna read, but I'm too lazy.

That's all for now.