funny simpsons quotes
 

CHEIF: Your off the case McGarnagle.

McGARNAGLE: No, Your off YOUR case!

CHIEF: What does that mean exactly?

HOMER: It means he gets results you stupid chief!

LISA: Dad, sit down.

There's no such thing as a funny Simpsons quote. That show is horrible!



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http://raversaregay.homestead.com/files/USA.gif
Put on the mask and dance for daddy!

...god bless those pagans...

ppl always talk about funny simpsons quotes, and though I've watched at least 75% of the episodes, I can never think of any when this comes up

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PhantomFM

ditto, but i've only got 3 or 4 episodes that i haven't seen, and those are all episodes from last season or this season that i missed the first time around and haven't been rerun yet. but when quote time comes around i draw a blank.

but because i watched an episode of the simpsons only 3 hours ago i've got some now:

"Impaled on my Nobel Peace Prize, how ironic." - lisa

"My boy's a box! DAMN YOU! A BOX!!!" - homer

the last line from the rerun yesterday when everyone thinks lisa's dead when the tree gets struck by lightening, and the lisa pole ravages through town and on across America...

"hey look, it's going out to seeeea"

They had a Simpsons trivia contest here- winner got their likeness drawn by matt g. ppl really studied for that!

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PhantomFM

Marge: Have you noticed something about Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No. It seems like something could be troubling him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I want to get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: Admit it Marge, it was.

Sign in the First Quick-E-Mart on a mountaintop in India: "The Great Master Knows All - except combination to safe."

"Hey! Is that a camera?"

"No. Go back to sleep."

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I think you're one hundred times as good.

marge - im going to the store what would you like for dinner?

homer - steak?

marge - hmm..moneys too tight for steak

homer - steak?

marge - you listen to you're freinds but you never listen to me

homer - hey thats greaaaat

Bill Cosby: Now what do you like?

Kid: POKEMON!

Bill Cosby: You got your Pokey and Your Mon and your Pokemon?

or something

sideshow bob - bart...you...you saved my life

bart - yea....i did. heh, i guess this means you cant try to kill me anymore

sideshow bob - *evil grin* ohhhh i dont know about that

bart - *gasps*

sideshow bob - im kidding! im kidding!!

i post this one every time:

lisa: mom, dad threw his beer can at the miracle gro guy on tv again.

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---a pile of shit has a thousand eyes---

duffman - H2OOOOHHHH yea!!! gotta get rid of the brown spots!

duffman - OHHH!!!! duffman, cant breathe!

paraphrased:
Lionel Hutz: He's just pissed off because i accidentally ran over his dog once.
Some guy: really??
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace accidently with "on purpose" and "once" with "repeatedly."

And just about anythign duffman says is comedy gold.

[quote] There's no such thing as a funny Simpsons quote. That show is horrible! [/QOUTE]

God now hates you.

Homer : OH.. MY.. GOD! Lisa is dead!! Unless....
Lisa : No Dad, I'm right here!
Homer : Woo! Lisa is alive! Unless....

uh...I know you said you paraphrased...but that's still not too close. (you forgot the funniest part!)

Lisa: Dad, someone is here to see you
Homer: Is it Batman?
Lisa: No, it's a scientist
Homer: Batman's a scientist
Lisa: It's not batman!

burns - it doesnt take a wizz to know that...you're looking out for number 1.

homer - uhm...can i use the bathroom?

burns - ah yes, 23rd door to the right

*10 minutes later*

homer - ahhhhhhh....

burns - did you find the bathroom ok?

homer - uhm....yyyyyea...

pepi: papa homer, you are so learn-ed.
homer: learned, it's learned.
pepi: i love you papa homer!
homer: i love you too pepsi.
pepi: pepi.
homer: pepi!

[This message has been edited by ZERO (edited 02-07-2002).]

-Homer reads Krusty's ad for a free trampoline in the paper

"OH MY GOD! TRAMAPOLINE!!! TROMBOPOLINE!!!!!"

and he runs out.

It's pure hilarity, I tell you.

drives.. "oh no you don't, it's mine!"
runs other car over the curb.

homer - hello, im mr burns, i believe you have a package for me

P.O. guy - ok mr burns, whats your first name?

homer - i...dont..know..

Moe:God, I'm gonna die and I never tasted cantaloupe!

Krusty:Eh, you're not missing much. Honeydoo is the money melon