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-   -   Help me write a cheesy poem / rhyme. (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=124517)

barden 08-10-2006 05:00 AM

Help me write a cheesy poem / rhyme.
 
So, every year in South Africa we have ‘Casual Day’ where money is raised for charity.
My work takes it pretty serious, and my department has to co-ordinate this year.
We raise a lot of money here, and yeah, the departments get quite into it. You see, every department registers a theme with us, and some music and things, and then they all dress up and act out a little scene or something entertaining and win prizes and we’re trying to get a South African celeb to be our MC.

And my first job in thisd whole mess is:
‘Write a poem or rhyme that advertises the day to remind everyone to start getting ready!’

And yeah, I’m not really up for it. But my first attempt so far has been:
A very special time of year
Is quickly creeping near
And soon there will be plenty of cheer
To take part, you only need to Volunteer!



But that was the first thing that came to my head, and I haven’t revised it yet. You can see I need assistance. Netphorians have fun with words. It neds to be fairly long.
If you have a suggested line or two that rhymes that I can add, please make any suggestions you can.

I’ll laugh if you make a netphorian funny, but if it’s not relevant for my work, I cannot use it!

But I’ll still laugh.

ChristHimself! 08-10-2006 05:01 AM

ooh i have the perfect one, it's relevant.

And he was young, younge and firme
I inserted into him gently,
Much the way a coin goes into a slot machine,
And then I sighed

Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
It's probably cause you're a 5 year old boy

He holds my hand when we cross the road,
Crossed his legs when I split the choad,
I'm a star network and he's my nodes
I fucked him into oblivion

Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
It's probably cause you're a 5 year old boy

After the struggle I thought it was over,
I thought he was my angel, my four leafed clover,
Then he slowly turned to me,
And penetrated my ass right up to his knees

The child was wiry, wild and clever,
He broke my spirit and my endeavour,
Although I was in agony, I smiled in glee,
I could see in that young boy a part of me.

Izzle 08-10-2006 05:04 AM

luke de spa will have fun with this, no doubt

barden 08-10-2006 05:04 AM

I'm hoping so!

barden 08-10-2006 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristHimself!
ooh i have the perfect one, it's relevant.

And he was young, younge and firme
I inserted into him gently,
Much the way a coin goes into a slot machine,
And then I sighed

Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
It's probably cause you're a 5 year old boy

He holds my hand when we cross the road,
Crossed his legs when I split the choad,
I'm a star network and he's my nodes
I fucked him into oblivion

Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
Boy, you've got the chest of a 5 year old boy
It's probably cause you're a 5 year old boy

After the struggle I thought it was over,
I thought he was my angel, my four leafed clover,
Then he slowly turned to me,
And penetrated my ass right up to his knees

The child was wiry, wild and clever,
He broke my spirit and my endeavour,
Although I was in agony, I smiled in glee,
I could see in that young boy a part of me.

Beautiful.


Here's a second stupid attempt:

It’s time again for casual Day!
And it promises to be another grand soirée!
So contact us without delay
Err… if you want to avoid dismay?

Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:12 AM

As there's no cause more noble than charity,
It's my charge to remind thee with clarity:
'Tis Casual Day soon,
So with our silver spoons,
Let's atone for apartheid's vulgarity!

ChristHimself! 08-10-2006 05:15 AM

Once again it's Casual Day
Come along without delay
Kahlo's really very gay
I pumped him then threw him away

I have a dildo made of clay
It was hard and long in it's heyday
Now anuses are not its forte
Please do not beat me again Padre

So get ready for Casual Day
Drum up some money in any way
Beat some kiddies, merely say;

"sunshine, this is casual day,
geez yer cash, or yer gettin flayed
ill beat you with my cock of clay
then kahlo comes to start the rape"

The kiddies, they will start to shiver,
Give up cash and maybe livers
Fast as arrows from the quivers

Give us cash on Casual Day
Africans are starving and swamped with AIDS
Please help out before its too late
And Baden kills and mutilates

God bless us every one

Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa
As there's no cause more noble than charity,
It's my charge to remind thee with clarity:
'Tis Casual Day soon,
So with our silver spoons,
Let's atone for apartheid's vulgarity!

is that suitable? i can joke about apartheid ALL DAY

i'll only do limericks, though

Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:23 AM

okay well fuck you barden, write your own fucking masterpiece

barden 08-10-2006 05:23 AM

It’s time again for fancy dress!
And uproarious fun, in excess!
And with every day that we progress
Grows a need for your department to impress!

barden 08-10-2006 05:23 AM

Haha, you guys are great.

barden 08-10-2006 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa
is that suitable? i can joke about apartheid ALL DAY

i'll only do limericks, though

beautiful. Truly.



Hows this, eh, potential??

Dress in a fancy costume
And run around the room
Waving your hands and shouting ‘Zooom!’

Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:27 AM

don't rhyme four lines in a row. mix it up

i'm going to bed. promise me you'll try to fit in something about casual day being a token effort to make up for scores of years of abysmal race relations

Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:29 AM

you need to make people aware that they're participating in a farce, but leave them enthusiastic about it anyway

TIMb 08-10-2006 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa
you need to make people aware that they're participating in a farce, but leave them enthusiastic about it anyway


*ahem*


Luke de Spa 08-10-2006 05:34 AM

being black is a disability now? you guys really need help don't you

TIMb 08-10-2006 05:35 AM

6,666

barden 08-10-2006 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa
don't rhyme four lines in a row. mix it up

i'm going to bed. promise me you'll try to fit in something about casual day being a token effort to make up for scores of years of abysmal race relations

I'll give it a shot, mate, thanks.

Current efforts *******:

It’s time again for fancy dress!
And uproarious fun, in excess!
And with every day that we progress
Grows a need for your department to impress!
So, for now your enthusiasm you must suppress

barden 08-10-2006 05:42 AM

vote wickhead for what?

Kahlo 08-10-2006 05:42 AM

When you walked to work today
Did you ever stop and pray;
"I wish I had no legs or arms
was Irish and consume lucky charms,
dribbled lots and smelled of pish
to be like this is my only wish"

Well If you did your a lying cunt,
an englishman or Helen Hunt

so take some time,
give us your pay
and you can dress down for a day,
and think to yourself
because your able
THANK FUCKING GOD
I'm not disabled.

barden 08-10-2006 05:45 AM

hahaha.

TIMb 08-10-2006 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barden
vote wickhead for what?


www.rockstarlottery.com

barden 08-10-2006 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIMb

Radical, that’s quite a decent prize, eh?


Hmm…. On some of the rubbish bins here some real estate women has advertised, with a picture of herself, the name of her company, and her catch phrase, which is, unfortunately, ‘I’ve bin around the block’.

It amuses me and my friends greatly.

In fact, I was just sent a message with that very line, which is why I’m posting about it now.

TIMb 08-10-2006 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barden
Radical, that’s quite a decent prize, eh?

yeah! i saw them (and breaking down and starseed) in london the other night. my gf is friends with the bassist and his gf. i was very impressed with them. they were by far the better of the three bands.




Quote:

Hmm…. On some of the rubbish bins here some real estate women has advertised, with a picture of herself, the name of her company, and her catch phrase, which is, unfortunately, ‘I’ve bin around the block’...

some people just have no idea... :erm:

tcm 08-10-2006 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barden
Hows this, eh, potential??

Fancy costume dress
Running 'round room waving hands
'Zoom! Zoom! Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!'

haikuitized.

barden 08-10-2006 06:03 AM

haha!

barden 08-10-2006 06:03 AM

okay, so, this looks like the poem:

A very special time of year
Is quickly creeping near
And soon there will be plenty of cheer
To take part, you only need to Volunteer!
And on Lancets Stage you can make your premier!

Yes, it’s time again for casual Day!
And it promises to be another grand soirée!
So contact us without delay
if you want to avoid dismay!
And start making plans from today!

Because it’s time again for fancy dress!
And uproarious fun, in excess!
And with every day that we progress
Grows a need for your department to impress!
So, for now your enthusiasm you must suppress…


So, prepare yourself for the 1st of September
Please make sure to remember!
And make a donation of ten rand
And extend a charitable hand
And help us make Casual day truly grand!

barden 08-10-2006 06:06 AM

and and and and and.

tcm 08-10-2006 06:07 AM

that poem is like a painting.

barden 08-10-2006 06:37 AM

truly.
I now just sent it to over 4000 people.

Whoop whoop.

I'm famous.


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