I fall, you laugh.
 

I was at Kroger on Thursday gathering the necessary items for dinner. I was making my way down the chips and party foods aisle, feeling good about life in general. I rounded the corner in front of the deli when suddenly my feet slide wildly out from under me. Before I can process what has happened, I'm on the floor in a puddle of water, groceries and purse contents strewn about. My first thought is "...pain!" soon followed by "wow, I hope I didn't fuck up my knee again." I stand up and attempt to gather my groceries and dignity. A nice lady asks if I'm okay, and then points out that the one "wet floor" sign is a good five feet from where the actual puddle is located. Mind you, this is no "the floor was just mopped" puddle, this is a "I stood up and realized my clothes are wet" puddle. Apparently, a malfunctioning cooler had been the reason for said puddle.

I somehow managed to get the rest of my groceries and headed back to Andy's.. by now I'm thinking I'm glad I didn't break a bone or hit my head, and am actually pretty thankful that for hitting the concrete floor so hard, I'm not really all that sore. I called mom and dad the next day to share my story, and dad was pretty pissed that I hadn't "reported" it. Well by the time I had gotten the rest of the shit I needed to get (which *******d milk and hamburger) and waited in line for a good ten minutes, I remembered I had Andy's set of keys, since he'd been driving his mom's car. He was supposed to be home soon and I started to think he may be locked out.. and then there's the fact that at the time I just didn't really want to make a big deal of it, and I just wanted to get out of there.

So, the next day I go and tell the woman in the "office" what happened. I told her I didn't think I was seriously injured or anything, I just figured I should "let them know". She said she couldn't find the proper forms, so had me leave a note explaining the "incident" to the manager, and he would surely call me first thing in the morning. He never did.

i don't get people namedropping names in anecdotes without explaining who they are , like these are some kraaazy classic characters we're supposed to know. no one gives a fuck.

seriously what was the point of the last two paragraphs of this story?

petrol bomb them

ctrl v

aaand people who know me know who they are. besides, what should i say? "some dude"?

whoooooooo caaaaaaaaaaaaaaares

Someone will! Just you wait!

"i fell down, i must report this!! i must file a report!! to commemorate this significant occasion!!"

Yeah I didn't want to originally, but my dad yelled at me until I promised I'd do it. I guess I can get a some free x-rays out of it.

how old are you, six years old? "my daddy told me to"

just take some pics of your fat ass iwth a webcame, same basic outcome and fewer people have to get involved

That's some pretty vicious posting there J

I just realized I said "get a some" and that doesn't make any sense. My bad.

helena's the exception to the rule for me. i "ride her hard" here because i actually wanna ride her hard

It all becomes clear now. Enjoy the ride.