wanna hear a joke
 

wanna hear one now!!

i drove drunk and stoned past 3 cops tonight. i am invincible! but if i had crashed, i wouldnt even have cared. :( where's mrpantyface? he always makes me feel better about myself.

alright i got a really old one.
it was funny as hell to me when i was a kid

ok, this arab rides his camel in the desert with some merchandise and all the sudden
the camel just stopped walking and didnt move.
the arab tried all the tricks in the book to get it to move, but upon failure, he went to a camel garage ( :D ) and asked the guy to fix his camel.
the guy says "no problem, put him on the well over there and spread his legs".
the arab says allahwackbar and follows through as the garage guy comes with two blocks of stone and bang them against the camel's nutsack.
the camel then makes the sprint of a lifetime and disappears. the arab tells the man, "well thats fucking great, how am i gonna get it now?!"
and the guy says "get up on the well..."

great job

thanks man. let me know the next time you plan to cross a street in my locality. i'll be good and ready.

thanks.

knock knock

You’re lucky they didn’t have their extra sensory perception kits on so that they can monitor your paranoia levels and if there are any spikes, they move in for the kill.

DOUGLAS IS THAT JOO???!!!

no, it's Douglas.