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-   -   Your Facebook Friends List's Idea of Humour (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=183096)

Disco King 09-12-2015 01:44 PM

Your Facebook Friends List's Idea of Humour
 
In recent months, the Facebook newsfeed has essentially become the equivalent of those "humourous" chain emails relatives would send in 2003, or the "snarky" cartoon clippings old people have over their desks at work. Except now they are looped videos or highly-compressed jpgs featuring those Pixar bananas.

Post things your Facebook friends think are funny.


MyOneAndOnly 09-12-2015 01:58 PM

this one keeps popping up on my FB feed. mostly from atheists who keep finding it being shared by christian FB pages (who think it's Jesus).


MyOneAndOnly 09-12-2015 02:00 PM

also seeing a lot of things like this from my Liberal friends, commenting of course on the Kim Davis controversy in Kentucky.


ilikeplanets 09-12-2015 02:01 PM




anything making fun of Trump, really

Disco King 09-12-2015 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand (Post 4219466)
also seeing a lot of things like this from my Liberal friends, commenting of course on the Kim Davis controversy in Kentucky.


I've seen a couple that were funny, like the Scully one (Doesn't believe in UFOs, still does her job). Others seem to undermine their own point or are irrelevant entirely (the best example to use probably isn't somebody who works for an evil empire or something)

The exploding boy 09-12-2015 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand (Post 4219464)
this one keeps popping up on my FB feed. mostly from atheists who keep finding it being shared by christian FB pages (who think it's Jesus).


well that IS funny.

the first time anyway.

D. 09-12-2015 02:09 PM

I posted this yesterday because I'm #edgy


killtrocity 09-12-2015 02:22 PM




killtrocity 09-12-2015 02:27 PM

Quote:

Fucking Facebook removing my posts because they "do not meet their standards"?! Now that the police state is in full swing, it seems the nanny-state is catching up. Fuck you Facebook and your nonsensical censorship. As long as I have a Facebook page, I will NOT be censored. I will fight you.
(unironic)

MyOneAndOnly 09-12-2015 03:05 PM

haha

Elvis The Fat Years 09-12-2015 04:40 PM

on mine people are pissed because some of the schools around here didn't have an assembly and a moment of silence on 9\11.

another person is sad because they didn't see more flags flying outside peoples houses on 9\11.

D. 09-12-2015 05:12 PM

I THOUGHT THEY BAND FLAGS AFTER CHARLESTON

SOME FREEDOM HUH

MyOneAndOnly 09-12-2015 05:15 PM

one thing that would make life better is more flags for sure

vixnix 09-12-2015 05:20 PM


Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 05:28 PM

schroedingers dog won't stay in the Fking box

Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 05:30 PM

oh but i will mention our cat has a pavlovian response developed because he wants to go outside (he has FIV so he can't) but my dog goes outside after he eats (because of his own training) so the cat responds at the same time the dog does, but he's not interested in the food

Sonic Johnny 09-12-2015 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand (Post 4219464)
this one keeps popping up on my FB feed. mostly from atheists who keep finding it being shared by christian FB pages (who think it's Jesus).


Hey remember the time that 4chan trolls uploaded lots of Hitler quotes to reddit/r/atheism but attributed them to Dawkins and put theme in meme format and they got upvoted so hard a few turned up on the front page?

Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 06:33 PM

lol really

noyen 09-12-2015 06:39 PM

HUMAN MILK FARM - By Nairb Noslrac

Jenny woke up slowly, her head spinning. “What happened” she thought to herself as she slowly began to focus in on her surroundings. She had been out with friends had a few drinks and woke up here. But where was here? She slowly sat up and realized that she was completely naked. She brushed her long black hair and began to check herself. She scanned her shapely form and her large breasts. Everything intact, she thought, but as she began to wake up fear began to build.

She appeared to be in cage. Jenny looked out through the bars into a dimly lit room. She saw another cage next to hers. Looking in she saw another female form lying upon the floor. “Cathy?” she asked. She looked at the cage as her eyes adjusted. She recognized her friend. “Cathy, wake up,” she quietly shouted. “Catheeee!” Wake up!” she said, her voice beginning to quiver with fear.

Cathy stirred and began to moan. She was lying on her stomach. Cathy had a fuller figure but all the curves were in the right places. She had short brown hair and large breasts. “Oh gawd!” she said as she began to wake up. “Jenny? Is that you?” She asked groggily.

Jenny was quick to respond, “Yes it’s me, Cathy you got to wake up!”

Cathy crawled up and was in a sitting position. She began to survey her surroundings. “Where the fuck are we?” she said.

“I don’t know Cathy, I know we are big trouble though.”

Suddenly bright lights came on. With tears building in Jenny’s eyes she backed off into a corner as three men dressed in white lab coats entered. Cathy just sat there still waking up. One looked in and said “They are both awake.”

“Good, prepare them” said another.

Now Jenny was scared. Who were these people and what were going to do to them? The door opened. “No please don’t!” She begged through sobs and tears. Cathy now fully awake stared in terror. But the two men grabbed Jenny and brought her to a table. She looked around and saw a lot of strange equipment. She was bent over the table her hands shacked over her head, her large breasts pressed against the cold metal of the table.

“You fucking bastards leave her alone,” shouted Cathy at the men. They just ignored her and went about their work.

Jenny began to cry as she realized how vulnerable she was in the position. She begged, “please please don’t hurt me.” The men ignored her plea as they positioned equipment about the room. Jenny continued to beg. “Please what do you want.. please don’t…” To her horror she felt a tube enter her vagina. She felt liquid pumped into her womb and also the sharp stings of several other injections. She began to openly cry and continued to plead with her captors. Cathy was screaming obscenities to the men as they worked Suddenly the tube was pulled out and she was released from her shackles and forced into another room, and tossed on the floor.

She began to get up and look around the room. Still crying, she noticed that the room was completely bare, just a square room with circular objects in the walls. “Who are you!” she demanded, “what are you going to do to me?” She began to scream and yell demanding to be released.

Back in the main room, the men focused their attention on Cathy. Two entered her cage and dragged her out. She became violent, and attempted to kick and take swings at the men. But it was to no avail, as she also was attached to the table to be “prepared.” She felt a tube enter her vagina.

One of the men spoke, “Because you are such a bitch you are getting special treatment” Cathy now was frozen in terror, what was this special treatment that he mentioned. She cried as she also felt the sharp stings of needles and injections. She felt pressure build in her womb as the fluid was pumped in. She was then released and also thrown into the same room as Jenny.

“Cathy!” shouted Jenny, as she rushed to her. Cathy was sobbing and cursing at the same time. They held each other wondering what would happen next.

Then, Jenny heard a noise. She looked around and wham! A bright light flashed and the room was filled with a glow. “What the?” said a stunned Jenny. Cathy was knocked backward and fell. She got back up and froze. Jenny felt a tingling all through her body and suddenly could not move. Fear turned to terror as her breasts began to swell. “Oh god”, she shouted “What is happening to me”. She could see Cathy in the corner of her eye and saw that she also was standing but frozen in place.

Jenny felt pressure in her breasts as they grew to about the size of a large D cup. Then something else got her attention. She felt pressure below her breasts. “What the hell?” She thought as she felt churning with in her own body. Suddenly she felt something below her breasts…another set of breasts pushing outward. Jenny was too scared to say anything. This change was continued as the second set of breasts grew to the size of the first. Her nipples grew lager but were still human like.

Cathy was watching these changes to her friend in horror. Suddenly Cathy’s pelvis suddenly forced her torso forward, bending her over. “Ugg,” she said as a force wrapped her body and began to twist muscles and bones. “Noooo!!!” She screamed as she fell to the floor, still unable to move. Her torso began to grow and thicken. “What the fuck are you doing to me you bastards?” She screamed out but talking was becoming difficult as the change progressed. She was laying on her side bent over, her torso now double in length and her insides churning.

“Oh my god,” thought Cathy as she discovered two growths coming out of her below her belly button. As they grew, they were becoming legs. “What are they doing?” She thought in terror. Her new form stretched out as her new legs now fully grown took shape. The light went off.

Jenny turned and saw the transformation that had occurred to her friend. “Oh my god, Cathy, what did they do to you!” Jenny went to go to her but found it difficult to walk with the extra weight of her new breasts.

“Oh, I, what…” stuttered Cathy as she slowly got up. She looked at Jenny with her huge four breasts. “Jenny, look what they did to you!” Shouted Cathy. Then something else, Cathy felt a growth by her crotch located by her rear legs. Her crotch now pointed straight outward. She tried to look to see what was happening and caught sight of a huge breast type appendage that appeared to be growing by her rear legs. “Oh Cathy!” Cried Jenny, as she tried to comfort her.

At the same time Cathy noticed a tail also had been growing, with a tuft of her brown hair on the end. Her breast like feature developed into a bag with large human-like teats hanging from it. “I’m a cowfreak I can feel it swaying,” she cried to Jenny. She now had human body a little thicker between her two sets of legs and a human udder. She wondered who would be sick enough to do such a thing to her and why. Cathy did not even try to walk yet and stood uneasily in shock from the transformation that had just taken place. Pain then shot from her temples as two small cow horns broke through her skin and grew outward several inches. “WHY!!” Screamed Cathy.

Jenny suddenly felt pain in her head as two cow horns also grew from her temples. She also had grown a cow’s tail with a tuft of hair on it, growing from just above her rear end.

Suddenly a voice came over to speaker. “Welcome to our farm.” The voice said. “You two are now our “cows, our property.” Both stood there in total shock with tears streaming from their eyes. The voice continued “You will produce milk for us and serve us well. There is no escape and your change is not reversible, furthermore you human sex organs remain intact but you cannot become pregnant. You may be used for sexual pleasure of some of our higher paying customers.”

Jenny cried out ”Why? Why did you do this to me?” Cathy was in shock, tears rolling from her eyes.

The voice continued “Prepare for duty!”

Jenny looked at Cathy and then saw something else. “Cathy look at yourself!” Screamed Jenny. Cathy scanned herself best she could. Darker patches of skin had formed on her lower body, still human texture but resembled the pattern of a cow. Jenny saw Cathy’s udder was hanging just above her crotch. Cathy’s feet then got her attention. “Cathy your feet!” She exclaimed.

Cathy cried, “What?” She looked down and saw her feet were no longer human, but looked as if they belonged on a cow. Her hoofs were made of a fingernail like texture and coloration, but looked like the hoofs of a cow. Cathy began to cry uncontrollably, this was too much for her. Jenny’s feet remained unchanged.

A large door opened up and two men, one with a cattle prod urged both of them out into a field. It was warm, sunny, with palm trees, and then she saw other “victims.” She saw other women that resembled her with four large breasts, others that resembled Cathy.

Both were ushered into a barn and hooked into a milk machine. Cathy had tubes were placed on her human udder and two smaller ones to her now enlarged breasts. She began to resist but was zapped by the cattle prod. Through her tears she realized that this was her new life, to be a human cow. None of the men would ever talk to her. Jenny was bent over, her huge breasts hanging down. Small tubes were hooked to her nipples and she also was milked like a cow.

Jenny and Cathy did talk to the other “victims” on the farm. All were forced here from all over the world. But none of them knew were they were and why. Jenny was milked three times a day and was forced to have sex with the occasional “customer.” Cathy, because of her form, was milked more frequently and sometimes given to several “customers” at a time for parties on the farm.

Both were turned into milk machines for the remainder of their lives.

Disco King 09-12-2015 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonic Johnny (Post 4219517)
Hey remember the time that 4chan trolls uploaded lots of Hitler quotes to reddit/r/atheism but attributed them to Dawkins and put theme in meme format and they got upvoted so hard a few turned up on the front page?

Reminds me of that Mark Twain quote.


reprise85 09-12-2015 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vixnix (Post 4219504)

that is kinda funny

The exploding boy 09-12-2015 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious (Post 4219510)
oh but i will mention our cat has a pavlovian response developed because he wants to go outside (he has FIV so he can't) but my dog goes outside after he eats (because of his own training) so the cat responds at the same time the dog does, but he's not interested in the food

speaking of cats and food and pavlovian

for a long time i used to keep the cat food on top of the tv, so when Jumby wanted food he'd climb on the furniture and paw/scratch the side of the tv looking up at the food (and usually meowing too). Thing is about two weeks ago i stopped putting the food there, but that's still what he does to ask for food. It's prettysilly. Scratching the side of the tv for food that is nowhere around (he can clearly see that it's not there). But i guess he's learned when i do this, i get food.

Sonic Johnny 09-12-2015 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious (Post 4219518)
lol really

https://m.reddit.com/r/classic4chan/...olls_ratheism/

teh b0lly!!1 09-12-2015 09:23 PM

so all you guys don't have cunts on your fb who find buzzfeed\reddit clickbait bullshit irresistibly hilarious?

Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 09:26 PM

that person who conned me had the worst feed of all time it was like facebook diarreah

Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 09:27 PM

Facebook really does say something about you

reprise85 09-12-2015 09:32 PM

oh god belte just joined a non-sp related group i'm on. leaving group immediately.

reprise85 09-12-2015 09:36 PM


thats the worst one i see right now

teh b0lly!!1 09-12-2015 09:39 PM

i don't know if that's a thing in america too, but i loathe it when people take a photo of themselves, post it with a text along the lines of "have a nice weekend everybody"

this is stuff that justifies throat slitting to me

Trotskilicious 09-12-2015 09:39 PM

i love you so much i can't tell you individually


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