Netphoria Message Board

Netphoria Message Board (http://forums.netphoria.org/index.php)
-   General Chat Archive (http://forums.netphoria.org/forumdisplay.php?f=19)
-   -   tehbolly's confessional rambling movie review ghost thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=183509)

teh b0lly!!1 02-14-2016 06:37 AM

tehbolly's confessional rambling movie review ghost thread
 
i might as well make my own thread for this and no mods are here anyway so if you got a problem go eat some baked fish, assholes.

teh b0lly!!1 02-14-2016 06:46 AM

curious case of benjamin button -

as per usual, i arrive a good few years late to the party. i intend to go on a fincher spree so i thought i'd start with this one, which i hadn't seen yet.

i was oddly surprised to find how unremarkable it is, for a movie with such big names and such huge oscar buzz at the time. also, it's oddly out of step with other fincher films. it's much, much sweeter, almost like a pixar movie or something.

i personally much prefer fincher's darker work, but his style as a director is undeniable as always. straight away there's this beautiful palette to his work that distincts him from every other director i know of, this green-bluey muted tone. gorgeous camera work all throughout, lots of small additions and storytelling devices that are nicely utilized. cate blanchette is done justice and is might purty (though on weekdays i'm like 2/10 wouldn't bang) and she puts forth a good performance, too.

brad pitt is just brad pitt here, pretty forgettable, neglecting the makeup and special effects work.

all in all, i guess it was alright, although somewhat pointless. just a story that starts and ends, nothing incredibly striking. fuck this movie for being 3 hours though. i really hate how indulgent most films are today. most are in the 2:30-3:00 range, and you really shouldn't get to 3 hours unless you have a really good reason to. this movie definitely didn't.

crabshack 02-14-2016 11:01 AM

When's the next blog update

run2pee 02-14-2016 05:16 PM

I wanna hear about Alien 3 while you're on Fincher

I heard there's a director cut of it that's far superior to the theatrical

*dodges machete head ghost on way out of thread

myosis 02-14-2016 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4247102)
curious case of benjamin button -

as per usual, i arrive a good few years late to the party. i intend to go on a fincher spree so i thought i'd start with this one, which i hadn't seen yet.

i was oddly surprised to find how unremarkable it is, for a movie with such big names and such huge oscar buzz at the time. also, it's oddly out of step with other fincher films. it's much, much sweeter, almost like a pixar movie or something.

am not surprised, i never wanted to watch it after seeing the trailer. it just screamed 'FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION'

crabshack 02-14-2016 06:33 PM

when's the next blog update

teh b0lly!!1 02-14-2016 10:01 PM

sweet i got (1) followers!

teh b0lly!!1 02-14-2016 10:12 PM

to answer your question, crabshack: RIGHT NOW!!!

dogtooth (kynodontas) -

greek (!) film, a first for me i think. read about it and it sounded interesting, but whoa. if you are seeking a big WTF movie, well search no more.
it tells the story of an overly protective family who relentlessly forbid their children to leave the house premises, grow them inside this fucked up, isolated bubble, and even go as far as getting their son a hired woman to come and have sex with him. it goes on but i won't spoil it.

it's very devoid of hollywood type 'flourishes', for lack of better word, so it all feels very real, and it's supremely creepy. it kinda makes you think about how parents do stuff like that (obviously in less exaggerated forms) sometimes, and how their intentions may not be as bad as their actions. or, how we grow into molds shaped by our parents, and come to accept terrible rules and behaviors simply because we don't know better. my parents were definitely weird about a lot of stuff so that kind of constant vapor of guilt, and hierarchy, hit a nerve for me.

either way this is a great, all sorts of wtf, disturbing movie, that's very well made by any standard. recommended.

teh b0lly!!1 02-17-2016 08:28 PM

taxi driver -

i watched this when i was like 19 and expected a much more 'straightforward' film, so it bored me and i absolutely didn't get it at the time. so, i revisited it yesterday and was, naturally, blown away by what a great movie it is.
this is arguably the best de niro performance of them all. which is funny because most of the times he speaks, his character is struggling to be coherent, or make sense, but he does it so convincingly and so masterfully. he manages to be incredibly creepy, and at the same time, appear almost kind of child-like, almost pure in his mannerism-free demeanor. he achieves a truly striking balance between innocence, and that 'real world' down and out war vet who's dying inside.

in fact, everybody's performances in this movie is incredible. scorsese himself does a small role and delightfully nails it (in fact i was amazed to find out it was him, didn't look like him at all), harvey keitel is perfect. even sybill shepherd hits the mark with that 70's blonde hair glamour, deep voice, piercing eyes, and very tame demeanor. she was incredibly beautiful, how was she not a huge sex symbol back then?

i also really enjoyed the ending. i've read that scorsese actually said that the ending is meant to be absolute reality, and not some fantasy in travis' head, or his dying thoughts. which is somewhat uncharacteristic, as directors usually like to keep an element of mystery to those sorts of things.
either way, i choose to see it just like that - travis' dying thoughts. it's much more powerful to me. that last conversation with betsy, where she has that dreamy glow, and she's suddenly so soft with him after really cutting him off prior to that. i dunno.

also, the corridor shot - what a fantastic cinematic moment.
to sum up: D- , i don't get what all the fuss is about lol

Cool As Ice Cream 02-18-2016 04:33 AM

lol

teh b0lly!!1 02-18-2016 09:22 PM

Annie Hall -

i'd never really watched Woody Allen movies. this might have been my first one, or at least one of the first. it's pretty smart and surprisingly quick and self aware, especially for a 1977 film. lots of breaking of the fourth wall, sequences that kind of pause the actual narrative and go into introspective mode, like when Woody just stops people on the street and starts talking to them about his love life and they all collectively share his conciousness - i loved that.

what that said, i did find many parts of the movie overly chatty. it blazes the entire way through on 200mph, chit-chat-chit-chat-analyzing-discussing-referencing-citing gahh.

btw some spots in this movie features some of the worst acting i'd ever seen, courtesy of diane keaton. but she's not horrific all the way through so i dunno. when it's bad, it's bad though (insert mr. mackie embed here). to her credit, she sang surprisingly well on the jazz numbers.

anyway, every movie about an ended relationship leaves me with this bitter taste and so did this one. i guess it captures another angle of it and was generally enjoyable. doesn't really propel me to check out Woody Allen's entire filmography. probably just a loooot more insecure neurotic jewish humor. i think i'll check out Match Point though, cause Scarlett.

to finish off this review i'd like to share some details about my breakfast today. well, not really breakfast per say, just something small to start the day LOL. i was feeling kind of out so i drank a glass of water, then chugged down another glass of water with half a lemon squeezed in, and after that I had some toast. not just some plain white bread though, i got that dark bread with all sorts of nuts in it. at first i thought i'd put some jam on it but then i decided not to put jam on it, so i just ate it plain LOL. have i mentioned that i'm friends with many professional cyclists?

reprise85 02-18-2016 09:45 PM

very amusing. i'm going to review your reviews. that one gets an 8/10

teh b0lly!!1 02-18-2016 09:51 PM

nooo it triggers my anxieties that i'm not good enough and people are judging me

TheAeroplane 02-18-2016 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4247930)
nooo it triggers my anxieties that i'm not good enough and people are judging me

Don't worry. Netphoria is not a place where people judge each other.

cork_soaker 02-18-2016 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4247921)
have i mentioned that i'm friends with many professional cyclists?

this is amazing! if you ever want to chat, send me a PM

I've done some drinking with a LOT of professional cyclists (with whom I'm friends)

myosis 02-18-2016 11:22 PM

diane keaton won an oscar for annie hall

myosis 02-18-2016 11:25 PM

i guess we just need the eggs

teh b0lly!!1 02-19-2016 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myosis (Post 4247940)
diane keaton won an oscar for annie hall

Quote:

Originally Posted by myosis (Post 4247941)
i guess we just need the eggs

yeah that's undeniably a great quote.

about keaton, though - i dunno. i mean yeah, i read that too. and as i said, she wasn't horrible the entire way through. she did have some nice moments, actually - which kind of made me debate with myself if she went for a campy vibe on purpose on the scenes i thought were terrible?

the most notably bad one was her neurotic nervous wreck thing when she first hits on Woody's character. i mean that's just terrible, obvious acting all around

myosis 02-19-2016 01:22 PM

i love woody allen movies but i do cringe at the characters' neurotic behavior a lot...
don't watch 'Anything Else'. i just want to punch Jason Biggs.

teh b0lly!!1 02-20-2016 02:51 AM

to be fair though, Jason Biggs is pretty punchable on any film

teh b0lly!!1 02-20-2016 03:09 AM

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

the fincher one, not the swedish one.
uh. i dunno. it was kind of a big thing when it first came out, and to be honest, more than anything else i was surprised by how standard it all was. it pretty much feels like a not very bright retreading on old ground for fincher. he's done everything that's in this film in the past, and on most cases, to a significantly better degree.

for a three hour movie, it's intensely misconstructed, i thought. of course, it's based on a series of novels, so there's understandably a lot of ground to cover... but with that said, the entire first half of it felt to me like it really rushes to establish everything. it's subtle, but scenes are like, two seconds shorter than they need to be, and it all feels kind of hurried and half assed. and besides that, the entire plot is much too complicated and too much of it is conveyed in very fast edited computer screen closeups with a bunch of names running on them, or a bunch of indistinguishable swedish names mentioned in a conversation.

it's possible that i'm a bit impatient and slow lately but to me it all felt like a huge jumble of a standard bullshit homicide investigation plot that was needlessly complex and lacking in order and in execution. also, the fact that it all comes down to a serial killer in the end, i found particularly underwhelming, repetitive and derivative (especially of fincher's work), and predictable.

with that said though, in the more nihilistic parts, which are, of course, right up fincher's alley, the film shines. the entire rapist story arc was very, very well done. it was one of the worst rapes i remember seeing in a movie, and the way it evolved until the very cathartic revenge was satisfying. also the serial killer himself, while super predictable and kinda stupid, had a decent scene or two of that standard 'serial killer real talk before i kill yo ass'.

to sum up, i always enjoy fincher's visual style and cinematic choices (nin's music here is great btw) but i think this is probably one of his least favorable films for me.

teh b0lly!!1 02-20-2016 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Run To Me (Post 4247133)
I wanna hear about Alien 3 while you're on Fincher

I heard there's a director cut of it that's far superior to the theatrical

*dodges machete head ghost on way out of thread

somehow i missed this

I watched Alien 3 way back, it was pretty bullshit. it was panned pretty bad by critics, and Fincher himself says nobody hates it more than him. studio/production difficulties and such. so

TuralyonW3 02-20-2016 10:44 AM

Looking forward to THE VVITCH today

The exploding boy 02-20-2016 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4247961)
yeah that's undeniably a great quote.

about keaton, though - i dunno. i mean yeah, i read that too. and as i said, she wasn't horrible the entire way through. she did have some nice moments, actually - which kind of made me debate with myself if she went for a campy vibe on purpose on the scenes i thought were terrible?

the most notably bad one was her neurotic nervous wreck thing when she first hits on Woody's character. i mean that's just terrible, obvious acting all around

I hate Diane Keaton so much. I will never understand how woody allen, or anyone for that matter, fell in love with her. Everything about her gets on my nerves. its almost worth it to watch Looking for Mr Goodbar just to see her get stabbed to death by Tom Berenger at the end (i mean its supposed to be a horrible scene but it being Diane Keaton, it just made me happy...although she does scream like a banshee throughout it all which is terribly annoying).

I never really got into woody allen no matter how much i tried but I like some of the less obvious ones like Radio days and Bullets over broadway (my favorite of his). Annie hall and Manhattan though, eh.

teh b0lly!!1 02-20-2016 07:51 PM

how do you feel about Match Point? i got that one on my list currently. should i substitute it

teh b0lly!!1 02-22-2016 09:56 AM

i know pavementtune reads my ramblings sometimes so pave, this is for you.

Mustang -
a turkish/german/french production, it's definitely one of the most beautifully shot movies i'd seen for a while. just flawlessly presented all around, it's almost heartbrakingly beautiful. that's right, i'm a wimp, fuck off assholes. there's also a great soundtrack that even though it's definitely not far from your run of the mill movie scores, kind of drew my attention on multiple occasions. simple, beautiful sounds.

to me this movie has two distinct lines running through it - one of everything that's ugly and bad about people, and one of everything that's good and beautiful. the sense of sisterhood and closeness and juvenile joys that can barely be suppressed even in the harshest conditions, against primitive, cruel, dimwitted patriarchal hierarchy.

this film shares a lot in common with dogtooth, a greek film i'd also watched recently, about a subject matter not far off (also reviewed by me for your rolleye pleasure). lots of similarities in tone and feel, although this one is much less dark (yet more realistic, actually, which makes it more frightening).

it's not without its flaws, but the mood it manages to create and the high points it reaches when it does succeed, makes it a moving and gorgeous film to experience. recommended. btw i'm pretty sure monte stars in a cameo lol, micropenis rapist jonathan monte crestfallen information technology

run2pee 02-22-2016 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4248164)
somehow i missed this

I watched Alien 3 way back, it was pretty bullshit. it was panned pretty bad by critics, and Fincher himself says nobody hates it more than him. studio/production difficulties and such. so

Yeah the theatrical is mostly shit with some ok alien sequences. But I heard there's a director cut of it out there that's fincher's vision b4 the studio got it, and it's purportedly much better

pavementtune 02-22-2016 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4248508)
i know pavementtune reads my ramblings sometimes so pave, this is for you.

Mustang -

this film shares a lot in common with dogtooth, a greek film i'd also watched recently, about a subject matter not far off

it's not without its flaws, but the mood it manages to create and the high points it reaches when it does succeed, makes it a moving and gorgeous film to experience. recommended.

ha, happy to hear you weren't disappointed!
agree it has its flaws, but Mustang is only the debut film of this director, and that blew my mind. I loved the sound work so much, Warren Ellis and Nick Cave, it just fits perfectly.

will check out dogtooth!

teh b0lly!!1 02-23-2016 09:23 PM

what i had no idea nick cave had anything to do with it!

i'll look into that, maybe there's an OST or something

teh b0lly!!1 02-23-2016 09:39 PM

Match Point -

i liked this one a LOT more than i did Annie Hall.
it may be pointless to compare two films (especially 25 years apart) just because they're from the same director, but while Annie Dog (lololo) was full of high brow semi condescending self referencing endless chatter, i found Match Point to be ever so much more sharp, precise, to the point and lean of needles 'fat'.

it's really beautifully produced and shot, it all feels and looks so european and expensive and upper-class, just like it needs to be. everything is immaculately lit and everyone is gorgeous and you can almost smell the expensive perfume. flawless casting, pretty much every character has the perfect actor for their role (namely the most devastatingly beautiful woman ever to come into existence, one mrs. scarlett johansson http://forums.netphoria.org/wwwboard/icons/icon11.gif).

it's wonderfully paced, clear and engaging. so many movies these days make the storytelling more obtuse and complicated than it needs to be imo, and this movie did a great job of telling a story that isn't necessarily overly simple, in a very efficient way. and it offers really enjoyable commentary on lust and greed, the unbearable importance of luck in life, and the meaninglessness and injustice of it all. i'm not sure, am i a woody allen fan now? i think now i may have to check out other films by him. though i might be disappointed if i expect them all to be like this, since by his own admission this is one of his best.

i'd like to take this opportunity to express my wish to also be a preppy, vexingly handsome, filthy rich, morally bankrupt london dweller. and get to sleep with scarlett johansson. but unfortunately i'm a shoddy, offputtingly ugly, spankilliciously poor, and morally upstanding guy from Israel. the unbearable weight of luck, indeed. bravo, woody :/

teh b0lly!!1 02-25-2016 01:11 AM

so last night i went through like the first hour of Inherent Vice.
i think myosis said in the other thread it's super hard to follow, which it is, so i kind of set it aside and will come back to it. it's fucking comedy gold at some points though. this scene is amazing:


teh b0lly!!1 02-26-2016 02:05 AM

Aliens -

so, this series has been super jumbled for me. i think i actually half-assedly watched the third one first, just caught it on tv. and a few years later i watched the original, from 1979, and was floored by how amazing it was. this one kind of slipped through the cracks, maybe because the two are only distinguishable by one S in the title, and when i realized James Cameron was at the helm i even got excited, seeing as Terminator 2 is one of my all time favs, always and forever.

well, to start off, i guess it's not bad. it's definitely a Cameron movie. it's got a lot of punchy action sequences, an emotional core, campy mid-80's badass talk, what more can you ask? well, not much i guess, just not in an Alien movie. i know it's highly revered, but i was actually really disappointed in how much the blockbuster action approach killed most of what was great about the first movie.

i mean, the first movie was based on slow paced horror, and painstakingly established the Alien character as this indestructible creature from the depths of hell, and along comes Big Balls Cameron and turns them into hordes of expendable collateral damage. the entire first film told the story about how impossible it was to deal with one of them, and made it visceral and terrifying, and this movie just made light of all that. especially with the 80's A-Team with the awful Bill Paxton, who essentially plays the character of Michaelangelo from TMNT here.

sure, it was definitely much more impressive when it came out in '86, and the campy tough talk and very unsubtle establishing of characters is a good showcase of cinema traits that have evolved over the years, but more than anything else i just didn't agree with the stylistic choices made here. it was still entertaining and kinda fun though.

i was also surprised to see how much james cameron ripped off elements from Terminator films and shoved them here! i may be too big a Terminator nerd but i literally know every single shot from these movies and he legit ripped some of them off here (the electrical disturbances in the ship, the way the child goes down that big metal wheel in the final act, etc). sigh

teh b0lly!!1 02-27-2016 11:53 PM

Vertigo (1958)

i've never become acquainted with much of Hitchcock's work, though he is obviously big time and hugely influential, just never got around to it. and what better time to fill the gaps and watch movies from the '50s than being a prisoner of loneliness and soul crushing depression in my apartment lol! anyway Scorsese cited this one as one of his fav films of all time so i thought i'd give it a shot.

firstly golden age era hollywood is just fucking gorgeous to experience. can't get enough of it. you can see how clear the air is, because it was before we beat the world and environment to a pulp, and everybody's so elegant and classic and upstanding. this one stars alpha manly male James Stewart (good, strong name indeed) and drop dead gorgeous Kim Novak. although she had super weird, very obviously painted on thick eyebrows for this film. no idea, was that a thing in the fifties?

anyway much of it, of course, looks very different now than it did then. but for a movie this old it held up surprisingly well, i thought. it's gorgeous to look at, and although it takes quite a bit to get things going, the third act is pretty cool and sideways, especially for a movie this old. the ending, in particular, is so abrupt and open to interpretation, it left me really on edge. basically a cliffhanger. i loved it.

also notable - the massive, massive changes in gender roles since then. i couldn't help but imagine feminists screaming in my ear about girl power the whole way through.

a weird thing for me, is watching movies from the 60's and 70's and then looking up the actors afterwards as part of my obsessive compulsive research on any movie i watch. it really does your head in, seeing people young and beautiful and at the top of their game, and then reading how they died of a blood clot in the lungs at 76 or suffered breast cancer and recovered, and seeing photos of them 40 years older, with all that youth and vigor gone away, just like it does for everybody, and you can't quite believe it'll happen to you too one day but it does. which only makes me feel worse about wasting away in this place eating brown bread with nuts in it for breakfast lol and squeezing lemons into a glass. i wish i was a hollywood star and had lots of money so i could buy me some love and a soul. to sum up: lol!

teh b0lly!!1 02-28-2016 12:06 AM

500 days with summer -

a really unique film, i find. i'd watched it before with who is now my ex. who would know my next time would be this way. it's a very successful mix of lightheartedness and humor, and the drama and sorrow that always come with love at some point.

it almost always keeps interesting, the narrative is non-chronological and goes all over the place, sometimes branching out into unique and memorable sequences. i really love how they cast Zooey Deschaneilletdjsakl, because she's basically someone who has endearing qualities but there is just something about her that screams 'insufferable cunt' in big bold cunty lettering. so it's used brilliantly by the narrative.

joseph gordon-levitt is another guy i never liked much, kind of like i always couldn't stand jake gyllenhall (lots of names i might be spelling very awfully wrong in this post, but i can't even bring myself to care enough to check) until he went full disturbing weirdo on Nightcrawler. i guess he is also an adequate casting call, because he's sort of unremarkable, yet somewhat charming, which, again - is put to appropriate use by the narrative.

so yeah, love is a maggot squirming inside a stinking rotting corpse and we're all just contemptible ravens trying to get a piece of it and satiate our appetites but we always just end up pecking wounds for a piece of squirming maggot and hating the other fucking ravens and frankly i'd rather be doing something else why bother with it all well i guess we just need the eggs *angry birds theme*

myosis 02-28-2016 03:15 PM

whenever i'm alone on a friday night my favorite thing is to rent a hitchcock or billy wilder. they're just fun and without pretention.

teh b0lly!!1 02-28-2016 08:13 PM

how come i've lost all my followers

i am at the top of my game here guys come on

teh b0lly!!1 02-28-2016 08:14 PM


toase 02-28-2016 10:09 PM

I'm following

teh b0lly!!1 03-02-2016 06:48 AM

queen of earth -

i read about this one somewhere and it got good reviews and i'm depressed and watch movies every day so i said what the hell. i pretty much had zero expectations, and thought it would be a cheap looking film with campy acting, lots of drama, and maybe a few interesting sequences at best. which only goes to serve once again how going in knowing nothing about a movie and expecting nothing of it, is the best way to go.

i really dug it. elizabeth moss (she will forever be labeled as mad men's Peggy for me) puts on an awe inspiring performance. this is really an actor's film. zero pyrotechnics, very sparse setting, almost nothing other than the actors just performing and talking.

much of the film is very tightly shot, extreme closeups and all. some remarkable 10 minute scenes with no cuts of just actors going back and forth and it's pretty impressive. especially elizabeth moss - you can see so many emotions rippling through her expressions, just staggering work. i think i'll watch it again just to appreciate her performance.

tbh i'm embarrassed to admit just quite how much i identified with her character. insurmountable depression and descent into madness have been done time and time again in countless other films, but here it just feels very real.

the other actors are hit and miss, but they don't spoil it badly enough to bring it down. still though, hands down, this is Moss's show. pave, if you're reading this, you might want to check it out. would be curious to hear your opinion on it.

not much else to say here without kind of spoiling it i guess. it gets very weird, very quickly, but for the most part it's not about being weird for the sake of it, it actually goes somewhere (though the narrative doesn't really conclude in a very satisfying manner).

anyway, thank you all for stopping by. though truth be told, i do wish you came more often. what's the matter, this old man isn't good enough for you anymore? i gave you all my best years and now you can't even make 5 minutes to make a visit. i wiped that shit off your ass, asshole. the least you could do is wipe this.

dreams of glass 03-02-2016 07:03 AM

meh


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:46 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright © 1998-2022