!!!!!!!!SP movie script!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!” Then Billy turns into a vampire and flies off into the night.

fuck yes.

and james pees himself.

Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.

Nimrod's Son, you've done it again!

*hands you two sacks of money with dollar signs on them*

This movie needs more gratuitus nudity in it too. How about a Joe Shanahan shower scene, ala Porky's? And then Zombie Melvoin shows up and eats him. Then Jimmy walks in with a double barrel-shotgun.

How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".

There also has to be a scene wheretere's a final chase scene in the end involving Billy's good side and his evil side, where one is on a motorcycle and the other is on a horse. It's motorcycles versus horses. It's like....technology....versus horses!

ok, so who has sex with the pie then? Kenny maybe? or Flood?

how bout all three?

Then they have to choose between who lives . . . and who dies . . .

with the aid of a wisecracking alien who speaks in slang from the late 80s/early 90s.

If you could get Bruce Campbell to play the role of Jimmy, then this thing has money written all over it.

SUBPLOT:

darcy has 24 hours to convince a terrorist to land a hijacked airplane, only to fall in love with him in the process.

(hijacker to be portrayed by bob english)

rats in cages

whoa. long.
 

Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:
-----------------------


- The film opens up with a bunch of kids trying to get to an SP concert. It’s a life affirming story and a Christina Aguleria cover of “Silverfuck” plays over the opening credits.

- Unknown to our heroes, Billy Corgan’s Evil Side, which is personified by the killer robot driving instructor from the future (and his talking pie sidekick, voiced by Bob English) have traveled back in time to kill James Iha.

- Evil Robot Billy Corgan (aka CORGANBOT-1000) and the talking pie visit the grave of Johanthan Melvoin and resurrect him as a Zombie. You need henchmen and all, you know.

- At this point, CORGANBOT-1000, Zombie Melvoin and talking pie wait at the concert to complete their mission. Kenny Arnof, having never experienced a woman before, hears from his friends that it’s “like warm apple pie.” He immediately steals the pie and has sex with it, underneath its muffled protests of “I’m pastry, not poontang!”

- At the concert, the kids show up and then are promptly eaten by Zombie Melvoin. CORGANBOT-1000 just rolls his eyes and says “Here we go again.” Talking pie is subsequently raped by Flood who heard from Kenny that talking pie is a great piece of ass.

- CORGANBOT-1000, talking pie and Zombie Melvoin bust into the show to kill James Iha. Jimmy, played by Bruce Campbell in total “Army of Darkness” outfit with the chainsaw arm and everything, goes mono-a-mono with Zombie Melvoin. Good Billy turns into a vampire and flies away. James pees his pants and stands there whimpering. D’Arcy kidnaps and rapes the talking pie and gets on an airplane.

- As CORGANBOT-1000 puts a laser sight to James’ forehead, the cry of “Back dat up, yo, this is deff!” is heard and a wisecracking alien grabs James and throws him in the back of their Alien Pimp mobile. CORGANBOT-1000, using his driving instructor skills from the future, swiftly yet safely goes in pursuit.

- The wisecracking alien explains that he has traveled to the Earth to stop the death of James Iha. Iha is actually the mother of John Connor, the savior of the future in the war against the machines. The alien picks up a phone saying “We need an exit!” and is told by the operator to get on the freeway. James protests, “You said we should never drive on the freeway, you said it would be suicide.” Wisecracking alien replies coolly, “Let us hope, then, that I was wrong.”

- To save money on the car chase, use a TMD-Movies rip of “The Matrix Reloaded” and blue screen in James running in front of the chase scene like the “going for a drive” bits on Conan.

- Jimmy, having battled Zombie Melvoin for 48 hours straight and leaving half the population of Chicago dead as a result, decides not to fuck around anymore and builds a personal nuclear warhead.

- D’Arcy, on an airplane to Mexico, lets the pie out. The pie hijacks the plane. D’Arcy calls up the pie on her cel-phone. “Ever play roulette?” she asks. “On occasion.” The pie replies. D'Arcy snarls: “ALWAYS BET ON CRACK!”

- CORGANBOT-1000 and Good Billy of the NorthWest have a chase on car vs. horse. James has sex with the wisecracking alien. The alien is run over by the horse and dies. James crushes CORGANBOT-1000 in a hydraulic press.

- James, now pregnant with John Connor, goes to Mexico with Good Billy. D’Arcy successfully lands the plane, now married to Talking Pie. The three Pumpkins look at each other oddly. “Hey,” Good Bily asks “where’s Jimmy?”

- At which point a massive nuclear explosion detonates on the horizon. The Russians fire back with their nuclear warhead. Judgement Day has begun. To celebrate the oncoming war against cold unforgiving steel, the Pumpkins take turns gang-raping the talking pie.

- In the ruins of North America, a super-irradiated Mutant Zombie Melvoin uses the remains of CORGANBOT-1000 to build a robot army that will take over the world. His only threat: Jimmy Chamberlin, the Omega Man and the last best hope for the human race.

i see no rats in cages.

Yes! And at the end, James is faced with a heartwrenching decision involving the two Billys" he must decide which one lives, and which one.... *sniff* .....dies.

Are you kidding me? This screams SEQUEL or even TRILOGY. They’ll be plenty of time to work in rats in cages, or even super-gamma-irradiated rats in cages, let me tell you!

i was waiting for someone to get that.

I'm crying. Or I would be, if I did that. Of joy, I mean.

Thanks for coming up with that tonight, ******.

*awkward silence*

episode 3 needs to have billy's dad sacrificing himself for his son's life...of course, after they rock together, one last time.


Episode 3: THE ROCKONING

Oh MY GOD! I would pay to see this.What a great movie.Can there be a Iha cover of XYU? That would be priceless:D

Which script are you talking about?

Re: whoa. long.
 

holy shit, i don't think i've ever laughed so hard at something on the SP board.

Re: Re: whoa. long.
 

Ditto. Good work, kids.

Jesus, that's some funny shit. Here I am thinking about how boring netphoria is and then I find this thread. Thanks!!!!

The Ugly one- that is so hilarious!

I think the movie would be a blockbuter!:)
We neen do send the script to warner bros. looney toons devision
:)

Re: whoa. long.
 

wow. just wow.

ACT 4: The Echo Rings Forever On and So Forth. . .
 

How's this for a climax?

-------------------

SC. 256- INT – METRO

Billy Corgan and Bill Corgan Sr. are locked in the Metro with an army of bloodthirsty Uruk-Hai. Things look bleak. As usual.

CORGAN SR.
Well, son, it looks as if the Uruk-Hai are going to be released, and soon Chicago will fall under the Shadow of Sauron. Let’s face it: we’re boned.

BILLY
There’s always hope, father!

CORGAN SR.
But it’s an army Uruk-Hai, the deadliest of enemies! What are we going to do?

BILLY
(Billy’s lip sets to a thin line of determination.)
The only thing we can do . . .
(A beat. He picks up a guitar.)
We rock.

With that, Billy launches into the opening riff of “Silverfuck.” The Uruk-Hai growl their approval.

CUT TO: An hour later. Billy is still playing the opening riff of “Silverfuck”. Some of the Uruk-Hai look at their watches, beginning to get annoyed.

CUT TO: Hour three. Billy has just launched into a rant about how much he hates it when his champagne goes flat. Corgan Sr. noodles incessantly between G minor and A Flat bare chords. Uruk-Hai, voicing their disapproval, begin to throw rotten tomatoes, eggs and small children.

CUT TO: Hour five. 50 minutes into Billy’s extended harmonic solo, one of the Uruk-Hai begins to weep, begging for it to stop. Soon all the Uruk-Hai are crying for deliverance: “Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys get off your ass and help us!!” The Corgan’s keep on rocking.

CUT TO: Hour twelve. Billy is naming things that rhyme with Corgan. His father strums on a C-chord repeatedly.

BILLY
Uh . . . Corgan. . . was told again . . . everything’s zen . . . like a hen . . .

CORGAN SR.
(howling)
BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN!!!

BILLY
uh . . . Ibuprofen . . . Dorigan . . .

URUK-HAI #1
(screaming in pain)
OH COME ON!!! “DORIGAN?!” ”DORIGAN?!!” THAT ISN’T EVEN A REAL WORD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

With that, the Uruk-Hai impales himself on his sword. Several others follow suit. Some try to rip off their own ears.

CUT TO: Hour seventeen. The last Uruk-Hai beats himself to death with a hammer. Billy is pouring sweat and causing his guitar to feedback so much it shatters glass. Corgan Sr. taps him on the shoulder. Billy notices the pile of dead bodies that litters the Metro and smiles. Corgan Sr. smiles back then falls to the stage. The rock was too much for him.

CORGAN SR.
(Dying)
Now. Go . . . my son. Leave me . . .

BILLY
(Choking back tears)
No! You’re coming with me! I’ll not leave you here. I’ve got to save you!

CORGAN SR.
(Still dying.)
You . . . already have, Luke.

BILLY
Billy.

CORGAN SR.
(Suddenly fine)
Oh, right.
(Dying again.)
You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister you were right . . .

BILLY
Father! I won’t leave you . . . !

With a final shuddering breath, Bill Corgan Sr. dies. All is quiet.

SMASH! The door breaks down: in storms ZOMBIE MEVLOIN!

ZOMBIE MEVLOIN
Braiiinnnnnsssss……!!!

And BLAM! Zombie Mevloin’s head explodes. Out from the gloom holding a shotgun walks J.C. Battered, bloody, beaten but unbowed. He walks up to Billy. J.C. extends his hand to Billy.

J.C.
Partners?

BILLY
More than that. Lovers.

J.C.
Forever.

They shake on it. J.C. smiles.

J.C.
Let’s go kick some ass.

Both Billy and J.C. jump at the camera screaming.

FREZE FRAME.

ROLL CREDITS over FREEZE FRAME and music: “SIMPLE MINDS – (DON’T YOU) FORGET ABOUT ME”

FINAL TITLE CARD:

THE END ?