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-   -   Haven't taken a shit since 2016. (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=187427)

smashingjj 07-24-2019 05:26 AM

Haven't taken a shit since 2016.
 
Just waiting to see exactly how big the relief can feel.

FoolofaTook 07-24-2019 07:20 AM

What is this? A joke? Or maybe you think this is a game???


It is well-known that the Dutch do not defecate. They secrete their fecal juices into a little flesh sac attached to their elbows. When this sac becomes properly bloated, it is harvested by poop-bees, who build their nests and raise their broods on Dutch fecal juice.

ella 07-24-2019 09:28 AM

Thanks for opening this discussion, Smashingjj.

Constipation bothers trillions of Americans every night. But I found the perfect solution. No, it’s not CBD oil. I simply hire a person to breathe air directly into my asshole every night. Yes, mouth-to-asshole. This is the only solution that keeps BIG PHARMA out of my shitting quarters with their machines. If you do some research, you’ll find out that astronauts used this technique for thousands of years.

ovary 07-24-2019 12:51 PM

been three years
since ive passed a shit
can't seem to hit that toilet mitt

so take a seat,
if you have time,
and ill paint you a typical night in rhyme:

full moon rising
bowels aflutter
backed up like an unclean gutter

wife is sleeping
night birds cheeping
kung pao through my butt is creeping

cheeks are flapping
farts come clapping
below me water gently lapping

progress slow
but not too shabby
make eye contact with my tabby

but hours pass
and morning light
illuminates my disgraceful plight

hear wifey stir
"hun i hate to ask,
but will you please breathe on my ass?"


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