Haven't taken a shit since 2016.
Just waiting to see exactly how big the relief can feel.
What is this? A joke? Or maybe you think this is a game???
It is well-known that the Dutch do not defecate. They secrete their fecal juices into a little flesh sac attached to their elbows. When this sac becomes properly bloated, it is harvested by poop-bees, who build their nests and raise their broods on Dutch fecal juice.
Thanks for opening this discussion, Smashingjj.
Constipation bothers trillions of Americans every night. But I found the perfect solution. No, it’s not CBD oil. I simply hire a person to breathe air directly into my asshole every night. Yes, mouth-to-asshole. This is the only solution that keeps BIG PHARMA out of my shitting quarters with their machines. If you do some research, you’ll find out that astronauts used this technique for thousands of years.
been three years
since ive passed a shit
can't seem to hit that toilet mitt
so take a seat,
if you have time,
and ill paint you a typical night in rhyme:
full moon rising
backed up like an unclean gutter
wife is sleeping
night birds cheeping
kung pao through my butt is creeping
cheeks are flapping
farts come clapping
below me water gently lapping
but not too shabby
make eye contact with my tabby
but hours pass
and morning light
illuminates my disgraceful plight
hear wifey stir
"hun i hate to ask,
but will you please breathe on my ass?"
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